Second Chance
by rachelcullen77
Summary: Edward leaves,Bella gets together with Jacob.He gets very ill,then Alice comes back,soon all the Cullens are there.Will Bella work up the courage to ask the question?And what happens when Victoria arrives?Add the Volturi to the mix-trouble. B/E later!
1. Lost

**Hi....Sorryabout the really bad summary,,it will be better than it sounds,,,i think...anyway one of my best friends has told me i am to dedicate this sorry to her( she's a little crazy!!!) lol,,,so there you go kathers!!!! Hope you like it...Review please!!!!!!! **

**I dont own obv,,,would be goood if i did though!**

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BELLA

"Bite her. Now." The cool, olive skinned vampire was staring at Edward blankly. I could see the string of emotions cross his face as he was told this. I vaguely saw Jacob run up to the vampire and shout in his face but I didn't take it in. I couldn't hear a word. This was what I wanted, so why was it bothering me? The vampire across the clearing looked at Edward now.

"Do it. Or we'll kill her." That's when I passed out.

1 Year Ago

I woke up. It was the middle of the hols and I was going to my boyfriend's house as usual. Jacob was great but he wasn't who I wanted and he knew that as much as me. I refused to think of the name. After the night, 2 months ago, when I had had the strange vision of him telling me to be happy, I hadn't thought of him too much. I still dreamed of him though. Woke up screaming most nights. But Jacob sort of filled that hole. Not all of it and it still hurt but I couldn't let it show. I couldn't hurt another person as much as I had made Charlie suffer. I shook my head to get rid of the dark thoughts. It was 11 already and Charlie would already have left. I got up and went and took a shower. It unknotted all the tension in the back muscles and I relaxed some more. I got out and got dressed before running down and stuffing my mouth with some toast. I ran out to my truck and jumped in. I was supposed to be at Jacobs 15 minutes ago. I gunned the engine and we were off. Well if you could define 30 miles an hour as 'off'. The one thing this truck wasn't good for, if you were running late. Hours later it seemed I finally reached the Blacks place. Jacob jumped over the porch ledge and ran out to meet me.

"Bella! I was getting worried." People were far too overprotective of me. Not just Jacob. My face darkened as this led my thoughts in other directions. Jacob noticed but didn't say anything. Another reason why he was so good for me. He put up with all my stupid acts.

"Sorry, slept in."

"No matter, you're here now. Hey! Guess what?" Now that I noticed Jacob seemed unusually hyper today. He was bouncing around as if he was about to burst. I laughed at him.

"What?"

"Billy told me this morning. Apparently he has been saving for years. But now we have enough to go to Mexico! So excited! I can't wait. We leave next week!" Oh. Perfect.

"That's great Jacob! You'll have loads of fun. You'll probably meet some gorgeous Mexican girl and run off with her!"

"Never Bella." His tone turned serious and I cringed away from the look in his eyes, my face turning bright red in the process. I tried to lighten the mood again.

"So are you packed yet?"

"Nope, I was hoping you could help me. I've haven't been to that many places where the weather isn't utter depressing." I laughed. This at least would distract me for a while. We spent the afternoon packing all his stuff. He was away for two weeks so I would be alone for ages. But I couldn't think about that now. You couldn't think like that around Jacob. He was so happy he made everyone within a 10 mile radius feel alive too. I was lucky to have him. It would kill me to lose Jacob. He had kept me going for so long.

"So, considering I have a total of one pair of shorts should I just chop up a couple of pairs of jeans?" I laughed at him.

"Yeh, that should do it. Then we're all set." He got the scissors and started chopping. It was quits amusing to watch, his face screwed up in concentration. After another hour of chat I got up to leave.

"Sorry Jacob but Charlie will be home soon and he needs his dinner." I said the same line every night, hoping in vain that Jacob might say to phone Charlie and get him to come over. But not tonight. I guess they have too much stuff to do.

"Sorry Bells. I've taken up your whole day with this rubbish."

"Nah it's okay. I enjoyed it!" He pulled me tight in his arms and kissed the top of my head. He then leant down and looked in my eyes.

"Love you Bells." He kissed my lips and I tried to give some response but it still did nada to me. I had been touched by my own personal God and nothing would ever compare to that. He let go and I ran out to my truck. I hadn't notice it start raining. Typical Forks weather. I started the engine and groaned with embarrassment when it sprung to life, noisily. I waved to Jacob and Billy as I left and hurried as fast as I could, back home. Charlie wasn't back yet. I took a frozen lasagne out of the freezer and put it in the oven to defrost. Hopefully by the time he returned it would be cooked. I went upstairs to my room and shut the window which was banging noisily against the frame. I then went to my age old laptop and switched it on. No doubt Renee will have left some giant email for me to reply to. As I opened my hotmail account, after closing hundreds of pop ups, I found I was right. Great. It distracted me for about 5 minutes. I shut off the computer and sank down onto my bed. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I hadn't been this bad for a while. Maybe it was the fact that Jacob was leaving for a while. It reminded me of _him_, and the emptiness, then the pain that followed. I lay down on the bed and let the tears come. I thought of how he had looked as he had said goodbye to me. He didn't give a damn. I wept some more and then I heard the front door open downstairs. I sat up quickly and wiped my hands over my face. Crap, I looked awful. I ran into the toilet and washed my face.

"Bella?" Damn it. Charlie was at the door now.

"Two minutes Dad!" I called, hoping I sounded normal. At least I looked half decent now. I unlocked the door.

"Guess where Jacob and Billy are going! Mexico!"

ALICE

"Emmett don't be stupid! He doesn't want to see anyone! And he won't come home regardless! Just leave him be. You don't know what he's going through." I felt my face darken as I thought to the pain Edward had inflicted on me as well. But I let it go, I knew his reasons. I would probably have done the same.

"Alice I'm going and nothing you can say will change that!"

"Fine. Your choice." I went through to the living room where Esme sat with Jasper. He pulled me onto his lap and held me there. Esme looked at me expectantly.

"Sorry Esme. He's not coming back this time." Esme's face fell and I didn't fill her in on the details of Edward's state. He looked half dead, hadn't hunted for weeks. He just lay there, doing nothing, in the utmost pain. He reminded me of Bella, of the visions I get of her, curled up on the floor, crying her eyes out; of her zombie eyes looking back at me. Even though I didn't sleep I managed to have nightmares about that look. It was like someone had died inside her, and I knew that that _was_ what had happened. Edward had taken her life. I hoped to God he would see sense sometime and go back to her. It was hurting Esme as well, Esme who carried an air of happiness around her had sunk into this semi-depressed state. I growled under my breath. Edward would pay for this.

Then my eyes flickered shut.

"Bella." My mouth spoke the word with no effort from me.

"Alice?" Jasper's hands were on my shoulders, holding me upright. "What is it?" I saw Bella. She was upset. So upset. On her bed, curled up, holding herself together with her arms. Her eyes filled me with horror as the pain and loss in them reached my own.

"Oh God Bella." I sank to my eyes and my body raked with silent sobs, tears that couldn't fall in my eyes. Esme sat holding me, the grief pure in her eyes. She had loved Bella as a daughter to. Jasper looked at me and asked the same question he had for the last uncountable months.

"The usual?" I just nodded and hugged Esme closer to me. My tears gradually stilled as she rocked me. I heard Carlisle enter the door and Esme moved and was quickly replaced by Jasper.

"I have some news. I just got offered a two year contract at a hospital in Chicago. If all goes well I will get the contract extended at the end of the year. What do you think?" Esme answered first.

"That's wonderful honey! Have you accepted?" I already knew he hadn't. He wouldn't without consulting his family first.

"No, I wanted to discuss it with everyone else first."

"Well, I think we should go. Maybe we need a change of scenery." I saw her glance down at me but I pretended not to notice.

"Okay, well I was going to accept to tomorrow. I also think it would be a good move. Maybe even Edward would come down." I smiled, trying to restore the mood I was in before.

"Chicago here we come!"

EDWARD

No, no, no, no, no! Not Bella! Anyone but her. My mind unwilling was rewinding the scenes in the ballet studio. I sat up and looked around the attic I was hidden in. It was messy, dirty and dark. My eyes were pitch black but the human smells I was getting from below meant nothing to me. I didn't care about anything, only Bella. I had to go see her.

_No Edward. You can't. _

I knew I couldn't. I had already ruined her life enough. But the pain! It was unbearable. Every second it renewed itself, reminding me of the look on her face as I left. A deep, empty, hollow look in them. I cried out.

"Wow, I just surprised Edward Cullen." I growled at the voice behind me.

"Go away Emmett. I don't want to talk to you."

_But mate. You don't know how much you're killing everyone up there. Esme is half dead—she never smiles anymore; Alice keeps sobbing her heart out—cause she keeps having visions of Bella._

I cried out again.

_Sorry mate. Just telling it like it is. Carlisle is thinking about coming down here himself and kicking your ass. You've torn apart his family. Everyone love you, please come back. Carlisle has accepted a job in Chicago, come with us. _

"Sorry Emmett. I can't right now. Maybe in a month or two. But not now. Tell Carlisle I'm sorry. Tell Esme I love her and to please not worry. Tell Alice..." I broke off.

_Got it. Take your time Edward but remember, we need you. More than ever._

He took off and I lay back down and curled up in a ball. Bella was still suffering then. She hadn't been fixed by my leaving. I had just made it worse. Alice was right god damn it! I shouldn't have left. I had to go back and fix her. But not now. I wasn't ready yet. I couldn't break my heart so much. I would wait till my family were in Chicago, then I would visit them, and Alice and I would become an unstoppable force of nature. I would win Bella back if it killed me. She would be mine again.

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**Hopefully next chap will be more interesting,,,i kinda had to set the scene here so it was a bit boring,,,sorry....please review though.....**


	2. Suprise Suprise

**Hey,,,sorry I took a while to get this up,,,exams you know,,,anyway,,this chapter goes really fast through the Bella part,,,sorry,,,I just wanted to get to the Cullens quickly...i love them all so much!! Enjoy!!!  
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**I dont own,,,,cry...lol**

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BELLA

"Flight 139 is boarding."

I was at the airport. Charlie was there and so was one of Jacob's friends, Seth. I think. Jacob came up to stand in front of me and the others seemed to merge away, giving us privacy. My bottom lip shook and I bit it quickly. I wouldn't let them see how much this was hurting me. My brain kept reminding me of when someone I cared more for left. Then I felt guilty for being so horrible and not caring as much about Jacob leaving. He raised a hand and stroked along my cheek.

"Thanks for being so understanding Bella." I gazed into his eyes and mine filled with tears as I finally realised how much this would hurt me, not just because of the memories of the past, but also because I loved Jacob in a way. He kept me together, well vaguely anyway. I would miss him for him. He was my sun, the one light I could reach out to in the darkness. Without him....well I didn't want to dwell on that fact.

Jacob seemed to read my mind.

"Bella please don't fall apart. Keep yourself together for me. I need you. Bye Bells." He kissed my lips one last time and walked over to Billy. He pushed the wheel chair into the gate and turned to look at me one more time. He smiled and then turned and disappeared. I didn't know that that was the last time I would see him smile for a while.

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Three weeks is a long time. Every now and then I would accidently walk past a mirror, or reflective glass and I would see someone I didn't recognise staring back at me. I looked dead. I had big bags under my eyes and they were bloodshot. I couldn't sleep. I kept having dreams. With Jacob gone now, I couldn't remember what it felt like, even for a second, to be slightly happy, to have someone there for me. It had all gone. Jacob didn't fix things, but he held me together. Without him I just broke apart. Like I told him I wouldn't. I could see Charlie's face fall everyday when he returned from work. I was becoming the zombie he thought had gone. I don't remember much of the time before. But what I was feeling now, seemed familiar. I didn't want to feel like this. I hated it. And I hated myself for feeling like this.

I got a postcard from Jacob in the middle of the second week. He'd been in hospital, something about an infection. He'd had to get jags and I shuddered at the mention of them. I didn't like blood or any needles, though I should be used to them by now. That day was slightly more peaceful. Jacob's postcard reminded me that he was there and wasn't just my imagination trying to console me. I sat down on the edge of my head and punched the covers. I needed to grow up. But I couldn't. The tears started, silently just running down my cheeks. I couldn't grow up. I was kidding myself when I thought of the reason why. If I stayed who I was now, then maybe, just maybe, he would come back and love me, like he had once.

All night I just sat and cried. Charlie didn't do anything, he couldn't. He didn't phone Renee, for which I was grateful. He just left me to it, he knew I needed it. For him, he would take any emotion he could get out of me. The next week and a bit till Jacob's return were different. I don't know what, but I kept feeling like something awful was just waiting to happen. Charlie was worried about me even more when I began jumping at the slightest sound, waiting for the worst. It was with great relief that I left to go pick up Jacob and Billy at the airport. And that's when my life went haywire. It all went wrong.

My fears were finally voiced when I saw Jacob. I never curse but for once I made an exception. It stifled my fears, made me stop the growing feeling of terror for a moment or too. The feeling grew when I saw Jacob.

"Jacob, you look like shit. What happened!?" I brought him into my arms, realising he needed it more than anything. My own feelings were forgotten as I held him in my arms. He looked dreadful. My eyes were still wide with shock. I couldn't believe it. I started to have trouble breathing as I thought of what might happen. Then I looked at him, still hugging into my shoulder and I forgot all of my feelings. He needed me now.

"Bella," He said half choking on his words. "I got an infection so I had to go to the hospital. They gave me jags like I said but it never went away. I have a stinking headache, am completely exhausted and have a really high temperature. I just want to go collapse."

"Oh Jacob." I stared at him shock. His face was pale but boiling to touch. His eyes were bloodshot, looking like he hadn't slept for weeks. His face had a few purple blotches on it and he had dark circles beneath his eyes. "Come on, we need to get you home."

As soon as we got to the truck and Billy and Jacob were sorted I put my foot down. My attempt to make the truck go faster didnt work. But my thoguhts didnt focus on that just now. I was worried about Jacob. Really worried. He looked terrible and he seemed to look worse every second.

"Billy, are you going to take him to a hospital here? He looks awful."

"Nah, I'm sure he'll be fine." I was amazed that Billy seemed to think Jacob was fine. I wasn't so sure.

"Are you sure? I think you should take him to a doctor." Jacob sighed.

"Bella, I'm fine." I gave him my best sarcastic expression through the mirror.

"Jacob have you seen what you look like! You look like you've died! Please! I'm worried. All week I've had this feeling that something bad is going to happen. Please go see a doctor." He sighed again.

"Fine. If I'm not better in a couple of weeks I'll go see a doctor. Okay?"

"Yes. Sorry Jacob. But have you had any paracetamol or something? Anything? I just don't want you to feel awful. Who would cheer me up?" I tried to brighten the mood in the truck and it worked. Jacob chuckled.

"Yes I have, but now how have you been since I left? Doing okay?"

"Yeh, I suppose." I didn't look at him as I spoke.

"You know I will just ask Charlie to tell me. And you know he would over exaggerate the facts a lot. So do you want to tell me how you really were?"

"Like I said, I was fine." He glared at me from the back. I stopped the truck.

"Here, I think Sue's got some sort of meal ready for you so go enjoy." I helped them carry their bags in while Jacob helped Billy into his wheelchair. I waved to Sue as I entered their small house.

"Jacob, where do you want me to put this lot?"

"Just dump it in my room, I'll be up in a min." He gave me a meaningful look and I sighed and dragged the stuff upstairs. He was up quickly and I heard him run up the stairs. He came in and saw me sitting on the bed. He knelt down in front of me and took my face in his hands.

"So what really happened?"

"It doesn't matter. You shouldn't worry about me so." He glared at me.

"Bella, I care about you. I want you to be happy. Please tell me." I sighed. I was such a pushover.

"Um....well....the dreams....well I didn't you know......know they were dreams...it all seemed real...like I was all alone....and I...um......might have.....um.....you know....been a bit distant....and kinda....you know....like....before.." I whispered and dropped my head on the last word. He sat on the bed and pulled me into his arms. I didn't like. It was too similar, too familiar. I pushed myself from him.

"Jake I was fine. I just missed you a lot. Look at you, you need more attention than me. Look I need to go, Charlie needs his dinner. Please look after yourself. Call me when you want me to come down. Stay in bed. Get better please." I hugged him and walked to the door.

"I'm glad you're back," I whispered and then ran out of the door.

ALICE

"So. What can I do with the house?" Which room is whose?" Carlisle flew up the stairs and I followed him, with Esme on my tail.

"Well, I thought Esme and I could have this one." It was a big, spacious room with a view of the surrounding forest.

"Oooh, Esme it's so big! What colour are you going to paint it?"

"I was thinking maybe doing deep reds and cream. What do you think? It will make a change from the greens!"

"Cool, so how about getting a giant couch, red obviously, to go in the corner. And you can do one of the walls red, and have a throw. OH! And you can get those drape things that hang from your bed to be red too! And a rug? And then pillows as well of course, maybe even—"

"Alice slow down, this is my room! Our room I mean." Esme hastily said before continuing. "Do what you want with your room, and the living room, and Edwards room and even Rosalie's and Emmett's. Just leave mine alone." Oops.

"Sorry Esme. So can you show me my room now?" Carlisle nodded and ran along the hallway to the second last room.

"Wow! It's as big as yours! I think I might do yellow. It's a happy colour. With some line green maybe? But that's a bit too bright isn't it? Yeh. I don't know. I'll have to talk to Jasper about it." Carlisle looked at me bemused.

"Do you want to see the rest?" I squealed. Boy was I far too hyper.

"YES! Come on!" He took me to the room next to mine, the last one on the corridor. The smile fell off his face as he walked in.

"This, I was thinking, could be Edwards's room. When he comes home." I didn't mention his use of the word 'when' and not 'if.' Esme started talking.

"What do you think we could do in here Alice? Maybe a dark blue?"

"NO!" I interrupted her and she looked at me in shock.

"Why ever not?"

"Dark blue was his favourite colour on Bella." I felt my head droop to the floor and I knew Esme did the same. We all felt the same about Bella.

"We're home!!" I heard Emmett call up from the bottom of the stairs. We ran out into the hallway and I was knocked off my feet as Jasper ran into me, gripping me tightly. We smashed into the wall and I heard Esme shout.

"Ahhh! JASPER! The new walls! Don't wreck them already!" I giggled into his neck and breathed him in.

"Hey you," I whispered.

"Hey you." He brought his lips to mine and kissed me gently. I deepened the kiss, and I felt his tongue touch mine inside his mouth.

"Geez, get a room. Me and Rose want to be the first to have sex here!" I heard Esme complain and I giggled again, breaking the kiss.

"Sorry Emmett." I swung under Jasper, keeping hold of his hands and wrapping them around my waist.

"So guys, where are all the boxes? Still in the cars? I thought so." We had each had to go in separate cars, so we could manage to bring the all in one go. But Edward's Volvo was still in Forks. There weren't enough of us to take them all.

"Yep. We didn't want to lift all your clothes in. They took up a whole car Alice!" I laughed again.

"Sorry! They are all needed, honestly!" Jasper lifted me up in his arms and carried me downstairs.

"Come help us." He put me down when we reached the giant garage that came with this house. It was to the north of Chicago, just outside in a forest, like the house at Forks. I had loved that house. But then we moved to Vancouver to get away. We hadn't been there long. But now we were here. And Edward would come and we would all be together again. I couldn't wait.

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It was about a week later when I had the vision. I was in the newly decorated living room, arranging pictures and stuff on the wall. I was lifting a vase when it came. I dropped the vase. I could hear it shatter on the floor and Jasper and Esme run through and ask me if I was okay, but I couldn't answer. I could see Bella. But she wasn't crying. She was smiling. She was so happy. And she was in Edward's arms. Edward was smiling down at her. It was like I was seeing the past. But it wasn't. It was so clear. I could see every hair on them. Another one of them in a park somewhere, holding each other's hands, gazing into the other's eyes. I felt Jasper give me a piece of paper and a pencil. I scribbled across the paper quickly. I drew her and Edward. They were in our own new living room. I drew another of Bella and Edward kissing. Bella in a white dress, walking down the aisle. Another of her at a hospital, beside someone I didn't know. More flew at me as I drew then together again and again. And then I got one that made me drop the pencil. I fell to the floor, my eyes wide as I cried out. No, Edward wouldn't allow it. So why had I seen it? Someday, somehow, Bella would meet us again. And something today had made that possible. But not just that. Someday Bella would be one of us. I was sure of it. It wasn't just a possibility as it was last time. The picture was clear and I knew with every fibre, Bella was going to become a vampire. With or without Edwards's permission, but by the looks of things, it would be with his permission. Another vision flashed through my head again. This time it was Bella and Edward on opposite sides of a room, Bella ran out, crying and Edward tried to go after her but Carlisle stopped him. He looked shocked and angry and happy and in love. I could see Bella come to me, another day, and asked me to help her make Edward want her. More flew at me, all mixed and matched. My eyes flew open and everyone was crowded round me, all looking at me.

"Bella's coming back."

Carlisle was the first to react to my statement.

"When?"

"I'm not sure. Soon. The next couple of months. Edward isn't back but when he does come back....they get together again. I saw then kissing."

"It will all end like this again though, wont it?" Rosalie said flippantly, anger tainting her sentence.

"They're going to get bloody married Rosalie! She's going to become one of us!!" I yelled at her.

"Yeh, but you said that before, and look what happened."

"But it was never as clear before. It was just a possibility before, now there are no other options. It's the only future I can see." I was trying desperately to find something else. But I couldn't.

"It's going to happen. I don't know how though!"

"How not?" It was Carlisle who asked.

"I don't know. I just saw her with red eyes. And when she was hunting. And her and Edward in a rather compromising position. Edward wouldn't do that while she was still human. I don't know why I can't see. It's like the reason of making her a vampire hasn't been decided yet. It doesn't make sense!" I groaned in frustration. I tried to punch the wall but Jasper grabbed my hand to stop me.

"Alice, go lie down. It will come to you." Carlisle was being the voice of reason and I was glad. Someone needed to stay in control. Rosalie looked part shocked part annoyed while Emmett was just surprised but pleased. The joy radiating from Esme was so strong even I could feel it. Jasper must be feeling so confused. When I looked round to face him, he was looking at me with worry and joy. He would be pleased that Bella was coming back. That makes sense. He could apologise for what happened before. He still blamed himself. Stupid. Then Emmett spoke.

"So, whose gonna tell my dear brother? Cos no way am I gonna be the one who tells him!"

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**The Cullens are going to see Bella again in the next chapter,,,but do youthink I should make her meet Edward or not???? SHould I wait???**


	3. Meeting

**Heyyy,,sorry it took a while,,,but my exams are finished now so should get chaps up quicker,,,,this was my fav chap to write,,,dont know why like,, but i like this best,,,please review with comments,,,**

**i still dont own,,,sigh,,**

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BELLA

"Hey Jake." I held the phone, curling the wire in my fingers.

"Hey Bella." He sounded so much worse. He'd got back a week ago and each day he seemed to sound worse. I had dropped by last week but couldn't stay for long. He had still looked exhausted and the purple blotches hadn't vanished yet. He also seemed to have got a cough in the next week.

"You don't sound any better."

"I'm not. I keep waking up in the middle of the night. And I know you probably won't want to hear this but I get really bad night sweats. It's getting worse. It's like I can feel my body fighting the virus."

"Go to a doctor now then!" Please say you will. Please, please, please. I can't lose him as well. It would kill me.

"No Bella, I'm sure it will pass." I almost screamed in frustration.

"Jacob you said that when you got home and look what's happened! I'm taking you to the hospital in Port Angeles at the end of the week. I don't care if you don't want to go."

"Fine." Shit. He must be feeling terrible if he agreed that easily.

"Oh Jake. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be Bella, it's not your fault. I should have got my vaccinations done before I went."

"You didn't get your vaccinations done!!!!" I yelled into the phone.

"Oh. Well I guess I didn't mention that part. But I'm doing okay. Sue is round all the time and keeps making food for me. It's kinda nice having someone willing to do anything for you. And she makes sure I get painkillers every so often."

"I'm glad someone is there with you. Do you want me to come round just now?"

"Nah it's okay. Just come round tomorrow as usual." He sighed.

"I better go. Billy seems to be shouting about phone bills. Bye Bells. Love you."

"Bye Jacob. See you tomorrow." I slammed the phone down, angry at myself for not being able to give him what he wanted. But I couldn't. I couldn't pretend to love him properly when my heart would always lie elsewhere. I did love Jacob. Just not as much as he needed. I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't good enough for anyone. I certainly wasn't good enough for _ him. _Maybe if I was beautiful or smart or not clumsy or, though I dreaded saying it, _vampire,_ I might have been able to make him stay. I went outside to the forest round the back of my house. I remembered words spoken long ago to me, 'there are more dangerous things than me out there'. I wondered if that were true. So I went to look. I walked into the forest and turned away from the path, sneaking through. I forced myself not to recall the last time I had been here, following him. I let my feet walk for me and I didn't think about the recklessness of my actions. I hugged my jumper closer to me and shivered. It was cold in here. I tripped a couple of times, but nothing major happened. The woods darkened around me and then I froze. He was there. There in front of me, right before my eyes. He was looking at me, gazing into my eyes. I sank to the ground in shock, unable to believe my eyes.

"Bella," he said, "Bella this is stupid. Get up."

"Edward." My breathing started to get faster. "Edward, what is this?"

"Bella please get up. You need to get back to the house. She's coming here. Please Bella." His face was pained as he knelt down beside me.

"Who's coming?"

"Victoria." I gasped and pushed myself backwards, against the tree.

"Bella please get up, quickly."I did as he said, grabbing one of his hands to help me up. "Good. Now Bella you need to go back to the house."

"I don't know the way." I looked up at the sky and saw it was pitch black. The sun had set hours ago. I was much deeper in than I had thought.

"It's okay. Follow me." He walked in front of me, never more than a metre ahead. My mind wasn't working. I couldn't believe he was here in front of me. I reached out to touch him. But there was nothing. Then I looked up and saw the house. My house. I looked around me but he wasn't there. Nowhere. Was it just my imagination? It must have been. My face fell dramatically but before I could let the thought properly hit, Charlie came running out of the house.

"BELLA! Where have you been? I've been so worried!"

"I just went for a walk. Sorry, I forgot to leave a note." He looked like he was about to say something then stopped.

"I ordered pizza."

"Cool," I said blankly. He just stared at me in horror. "What?" my mind not caring for the answer. I had seen him. He had finally broken through my blockade against him. I didn't wait for Charlie to answer.

"I'm going to bed. Night Charlie." I walked past him and up to my room. I caught sight of myself in a mirror and I realised at once what had been wrong with Charlie. It was like a memory from the past. My eyes were blank, staring back at me, not wanting to see the truth. I was a zombie again. No. No I couldn't be. I had Jacob to worry about. But Jacob held little interest for meat the moment. All I could think about was Edward. My mind screamed his name at me, over and over. It got louder and louder until I sank to the floor, silent tears running down my face. It was like I'd lost him all over again. I leant my face against the cold floor of my room. I wanted him back. He said I would forget him, but I couldn't. He was and still is my life. Jacob couldn't help me, no one could. I fell asleep on the floor, the tears still falling.

----------

When I woke up I was on my bed, the covers draped over me. I cursed. Charlie would have seen me last night. Great. That would take some explaining. I don't think he would appreciate me telling him that I was crazy.

I was feeling better now I had it all out of system and I was ready to face the facts. I wasn't going to forget him and I would live with that. I wanted to see him again and I needed to find out how to get him to appear to me again. Then I heard something. I sat up and looked around. There was no there. I went to the window and looked around. I couldn't see anything but there was a smell in the air that was familiar. I couldn't place it though. I looked around once more then shook my head. I was definitely going crazy. I shut the window and put my mind to more urgent matters.

I had more pressing concerns. I had to take Jacob to the hospital today. I quickly got dressed and went downstairs. I still couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching me. Charlie was sitting at the table and that quickly wiped every other thought form my mind. Before he could say anything I spoke.

"Sorry about last night. You shouldn't have seen me like that. I'm fine now. But thanks for putting me in bed." I smiled at him and he looked suspiciously at me.

"You do seem much better. You look happier than you have in months. Any reason for that?" Well yes but I wasn't going to tell him that. I shook my head instead.

"Oh and what do you mean thanks for putting you in bed? I didn't go into your room all night." I froze, putting some bread in the toaster.

"What? You didn't lift me off the floor? But I was in my bed when I woke up." Charlie shrugged.

"Maybe you did yourself, just didn't notice. Anyway I'm off to work. Glad you're feeling better." He left and I sat down at the table. Had there been somebody in my room last night? And if so who? Maybe even—I cut myself off. I was being stupid. He wasn't there; it would have just been me. It was reinforcing my madness. Yes, it was definitely me. I looked at my watch. Okay I needed to leave now. I threw the rest of my breakfast down my throat before running to my truck. I jumped in and gunned the engine. I still winced every time it started.

When I reached his house I knew immediately something was very wrong. Every day I came, Jacob would be there waiting on the porch. He would always run out to me and open my door. This time the house looked empty. His curtains were closed and there was no welcome. I got out and took a deep breath before walking into the house. There was no one downstairs and I shivered pulling my jacket closer around me. I ran upstairs and walked into his room. There was no one there. Okay this was getting weirder. I looked around the other rooms but there was no one there. I called out but no one answered. I went back downstairs and looked around the living room for any clues.

"I heard the front door open and Sue walked in.

"Bella, I've been looking everywhere for you. You weren't at your house. Billy told me to find you. Jacob was admitted into hospital last night." I could feel the walls of my world collapsing around me.

"Why?" I could barely talk and my question came out as a whisper.

"He was having trouble breathing. So Billy phoned an ambulance and as soon as they saw him they said he needed hospital urgently. According to them, this along with everything else that's been wrong with him could be a sign of a major disease. They wouldn't say what it was though, in case they were wrong. He's getting tests done now though." I could barely hear her talking to me; my mind was racing around in circles.

"I need to see him." Sue nodded and helped me off the floor.

"I'll tell Charlie what's happened." I ran out of the room and to my truck. I was shaking and it took all of my control to focus on driving. I reached there in record time for my truck. I jumped out, slammed the door and ran into the reception. I looked around looking for Billy but he wasn't there. I asked at the day for Jacob Black and the woman managed to work pretty quickly, sensing my urgency.

"Ward 15, room 8." I ran from the desk, not needing directions, I'd been here so often I could work my way around with my eyes shut. I reached his door and stopped abruptly. I calmed my breathing and knocked on the door. I went in and a quick glance around showed me that Billy was there, beside him. He looked awful. He was wearing an oxygen mask and his glands were swollen. He saw me and removed his mask off his face.

"Hey Bells." He attempted a smile but I wasn't fooled.

"Oh Jacob!" I went to his side and knelt down. He raised his hand and stroked my cheek.

"Don't cry Bells."

"I'm not," I argued. He chuckled but started coughing, loud rasping coughs. He put the oxygen mask back to his face and took a few deep breaths. I stared, shocked.

"Do you know what's wrong yet?" It was Billy who answered.

"No, we don't know yet. They've taken blood samples and we're just waiting for them to return from the lab. It should be in about an hour." I pulled up a chair and sat next to Jacob, holding his hand. We sat in silence and I tried to ignore the coughing fits he would have ever so often and the deep, throaty breaths he took. I don't know how long I sat there until the doctor came. He cleared his throat from the doorway and Billy and I moved our heads sharply to the side. Jacob had fallen into a disrupted sleep not long ago.

"The results have come back. He seems to have a highly aggressive version of PCP." He added an explanation at our blank faces. "Pneumocystis jiroveci pneumonia. It's an infection that occurs in people who have HIV." I gasped.

"What? How?" The doctor ignored me.

"There is also a noticeable loss of CD4 cells in his blood. These are the cells that prevent any infections—" Billy interrupted him.

"He's got HIV?" he asked hoarsely. The Doctor looked kindly at him.

"We don't know yet. More tests will need to be done but I'm afraid he will have to be transferred to another hospital with more resources for this type of thing."

"Where?" The Doctor hesitated.

"Michigan City, near Chicago. Saint Antony's Memorial Hospital. A new Doctor has just been added to their team and he is very well educated in these sorts of diseases. Jacob would be much better off there. I'll leave you to discuss it. But he can be moved tomorrow morning if you decide tonight."

"Billy you have to send him! He will be so much better off." Billy didn't answer but I shut up when I saw the look on his face. I walked over to him.

"He'll be okay Billy. He has to be. He can fight it off." I put my arm on his shoulder to soothe him. Then Jacob woke up. His face was sombre.

"I guess it wasn't good news." I looked at Billy and he seemed unable to answer.

"You have PCP. That's what's been causing the cough and breathing problems. It's an infection associated with HIV. They want to transfer you to a hospital in Michigan City to do more tests."

"So I've got HIV?" I shook my head.

"They don't know. That's why they need to transfer you."

"So when do I leave?"

"Tomorrow, but only if Billy agrees to it." Billy spoke for the first time then.

"I want to agree. But I couldn't come with you. Rachel is coming back next week. And that area, Chicago especially, well it's where I met you're mother. She died there. We were visiting friends. They lived in Michigan City." Billy's voice broke and he stopped talking. I stared down at them both and felt a strong sense of determination.

"I'll go with him." They both looked up at me and Jacob started to speak.

"No Bella, you can't. You shouldn't have to."

"Jacob I want to. I know you well and I can keep Billy in touch with Billy. It's perfect." I glared at him. "I'm going Jacob and you can't stop me."

"And where will you get the money for a hotel?" I smiled smugly at him.

"I've been saving for a while. College you know. I have quite a lot in the bank. I'll stay somewhere close to the hospital." Billy spoke next.

"What about Charlie?" I frowned.

"He'll be fine with it. He knows I wouldn't leave Jacob and he wouldn't stop me if this was what I really wanted to do." Billy looked at me sceptically and then sighed.

"You pass it by Charlie and you can go. It would help." His voice reached a whisper. "I'm so sorry I can't come Jacob."

Suddenly a frantic Charlie came rushing through the door. He stopped in the doorway.

"I just heard. Sue told me. Are you okay Billy, Jacob?" They both nodded numbly.

"Do you know what's wrong with him?"

"He has PCP, an infection associated with HIV. And some cell in his blood has a low count," Billy replied.

"CD4." The Doctor from before walked in through the door. "So Mr Black have you decide yet?"

"Um yeh, but Bella you better ask Charlie."

"Jacob has to be transferred to Michigan City but Billy can't go. I said I would. I can't leave him like this. Please Charlie, please let me go. I'll be fine. I'll only go out to go to the hospital. I won't do anything else just please let me go Dad. He can't go alone!" I said all this at top speed. Charlie looked at me.

"Okay."

"What?" I looked at him in shock. He gave a slight smile.

"I said you can go. I'll help you find somewhere to stay tonight."

"Thanks." I smiled awkwardly at him. The Doctor cleared his throat.

"I guess you're fine with him leaving tomorrow then?" Billy nodded.

"Okay, Bella we'll be transporting him by plane and there will be enough room for you too. Be here no later than half 8. Now Jacob, would you like some more painkillers and some sleeping tablets?"

"The painkillers would be great but not the sleeping tablets."

"Okay, I'll send someone in." I went back to Jacob's side.

"We better go Bells, if you need to pack and find a hotel. Jacob would you like us to pick anything up for you?"

"Um, some clothes would be nice I guess. And some books. You know what ones I like Bella. See you tomorrow." I kissed his forehead and gave his hand one last squeeze. My breathing tightened as we left the room. I didn't want to leave him. He looked like he might die any second. He was going to die though. But I couldn't face that now. I would wait until I was alone, in the hotel, before bringing myself to see the truth. Charlie was silent as well. He let me think. He let me go at my truck while he went and got his cruiser. We reached the house at the same time.

"Bella do you want to go pack? I'll find somewhere for you to stay." I nodded.

"Thanks Charlie." I went upstairs and dragged my suitcase out from under the bed. I chucked half my wardrobe in, not bothering to see is any of it was presentable; I wasn't going out anywhere. I made sure I had enough clothes for 2 weeks. I could wash them after that. I lost track of what I packed after that. My mind was numbing itself against the pain that this was going to cause. I sat down on the edge of my bed and then I noticed. My window was open. And there was that same smell as before. Who had been here? I crept over to the window and peeked over the edge, trying to be less conspicuous than my usual self. I looked around. There was no one there. I slammed my hand against the window sill.

"OW!" I cursed and hopped around my room. I looked down at my hand; it was red with some scratches down the edge. I sat down and thought about my intruder. Who could it be? It definitely wasn't Edward. I laughed at my ability to say his name without hurting, I knew I would see him again, and I didn't care about it being an illusion. I would still see him. And then it came to me. Of course I knew the smell. I'd been around it for so long. She was my best friend. It was Alice. My heart leapt. Alice was here in Forks! I danced around my room. Then I realised. She wasn't going to see me. She'd been here, but hadn't said hi. Well I was going to put a change to that. I checked that Charlie was still busy then went back to the window.

"Alice." I sounded so stupid. I didn't need to shout, I knew she could hear me, if she was there.

"Alice I know you're there. If you don't come out I'm going to jump out this window." I put my foot on the window sill and, grabbing hold of the window, pulled myself up so I was standing on the sill, and could jump out easily. I wasn't planning on jumping, but she didn't know that. I heard something rustle in the trees and I looked at the source of the noise. I couldn't see anything.

"I'm going to jump on 5. 1.....2.....3, I took my foot off the ledge, 4..."

"Bella." I jumped and had to grab hold of the window to steady myself. I turned around and there he was, perfection staring at me in the face.

"Bella what are you doing?" he purred.

"Oh. I was...eh... trying to get your idiot of a sister to come see me. She was here."

"Bella get down from the window don't be silly." I started to get down, but then he began to fade.

"No! Don't go!" I climbed back onto the window ledge. He was clear again now, growling at me.

"Bella get down."

"Stay and I will." I sighed at me.

"I can't Bella."

"Why not?" I complained.

"I'm not good for you Bella. See what you're doing to make me stay?" I glared at him.

"Fine. I'll get Alice." I turned around.

"Hi again Alice. On three, 1, 2, 3," and I jumped. I could hear Edward yelling behind me and then cold arms caught me before I hit the ground.

"Alice!" She put me down on the ground and I saw Jasper come up behind her.

"What the hell was that about?!" She glared at me and put her hands on her hips.

"I...um...I wanted you to come out...I missed you....I didn't even get to say goodbye!" The tears started then. I stumbled towards her and she opened her arms and hugged me. She stroked my hair as I sobbed.

"I've missed you to Bella. I was so angry at him. And you!" She took her arms off me so she could glare at me again. "Do you how many visions I've had of you, crying your eyes out?! Do you know what that did to me?!" I cringed.

"Sorry Alice. It just it hurt. And he's still gone. And he's never coming back." The tears started coming again and I sank to the ground. "I still love him. I love him so much, and he doesn't. He hates me. I'm not good enough for him."

"Where on EARTH did you get that from?" I looked up at her and she had her hands on her hips again.

"He TOLD me Alice. He t...t..told me he didn't w..w...want me, that I'm not g...g....good for him. And t...t...then he left and I tried to f...follow him and I couldn't. I couldn't l...l...let him go, but he went. And I s..s...shut everything out. I couldn't do a...anything. Then J....Jacob came along. And he tried to fix me and he m..m...made me better, well sort of. But I c...c...couldn't get him out of my h...h...head. So I t..t...tried to force him out. I started going out w...w...with Jacob. But now even HE is dying and it didn't even work. It j...just seemed t...t...to reinforce the f...f...fact that I loved him." She pulled me into her arms again.

"Shhhhh Bella, it's okay." Jasper got down and knelt in front of me.

"Bella, if there's one thing I know, it's that Edward has always loved you. We haven't seen him for months. He's hiding somewhere in Mexico. He just sits there, curled up in ball, thinking about you. He's lost without you. You were his life and he's nothing without you." Jasper explained this but I didn't believe it. I shook my head.

"He doesn't love me! If he had he wouldn't have left, or said what he said."

"Bella, he left because of me. He saw the danger of having you in our family and he did the only thing he could think of to save you. He left. He thought you'd be safer. You don't know how sorry I am for that day. I ruined your life, and Edward's life, I took the light from Alice, Esme hasn't smiled in months and Emmett hasn't even made a joke since we left. I am so sorry Bella." I smiled at him.

"Jasper you don't need to be sorry. I don't blame you at all. It was me that couldn't keep him here. I wasn't good enough for him, and nothing you can say will change that." I turned to Alice who was still rocking me.

"You're going away again aren't you?"

"I have to leave tonight. Carlisle said I could come yesterday and today, but I have to be back by early morning. I'm sorry Bella. And they all say hi and to tell you that they all still love you. Sorry."

"It's okay. It was nice to see you. And tell them thanks. And that I miss them all so much."

"How did you know it was me by the way? I didn't leave anything behind. I thought I had everything. I just needed to see you."

"Your smell. Believe me, it's very familiar. And you left the window open."

"Back to the window thing, what made you decide to do that?"

"I knew it would get you out."

"And incidentally, who were you talking to? It sounded like it was Edward there, but you were like having a one sided conversation."

"Well, he's been sort of.....appearing to me."

"How do you mean Bella? This is serious."

"Well, it's....like an apparition really. When I got lost in the woods, he led me back to the house, told me Victoria was coming and I had to get out of the woods. And then he appeared when I was about to jump the first time. And he tried to get me to stop doing it. But when I climbed down he started fading," the tears started again now, "and...and I got back up and told him that he couldn't leave. That I'd jump if he left. But he told me he couldn't stay so I went to get you again. I'm so sorry Alice." She held me tighter.

"Bells, it's okay. Shhh, its okay. He was an idiot for leaving you. But please believe us when we say he loves you. He has never loved anyone more and he is lost without you. Come on, we need to get you into bed. Jasper, I'll get her window open fully so it's easier to get her in. Bella climb onto his back, he'll jump up. Is that okay Jasper, are you doing okay?"

"I've never been more in control."

"Bella is that okay with you?"

"Yeh, I trust you Jasper."

"Thank you Bella, it means a lot."

"Guys, enough cheesiness. Come on!" She jumped up straight into my bedroom and pushed the window back fully.

"Come on up Jasper!" I climbed onto his back and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly.

"Hold on Bella." He leapt up and grabbed onto the window ledge. Alice grabbed me from his back and pulled me into the room. Jasper came up after me.

"Packing are we Bella? Where are you going?"

"Jacob's being transferred to a hospital in Michigan City and I'm going with him." I yawned loudly, not noticing that ALice and Jasper had frozen behind me. She quickly came out of her trance though.

"Bella go to bed, you've had a long day."

"Will you stay until I fall asleep? Please Alice." She smiled slightly.

"Sure Bella." I ran into the bathroom and got changed. I brushed my teeth at top speed, I wanted to get back to them before they vanished. They were still there, arguing.

"I'm glad you have so much trust in me Alice."

"I had to check Jasper! It's Bella, she's my best friend!"

"Yeh, and you're supposed to trust me! You know more than anyone that I could never do anything to Bella. I hate myself for what I did. Bella is the only one who trusts me, and she's the one who shouldn't trust me." I couldn't listen to anymore. I cleared my throat.

"Do you want me to come back?"

"No, it's okay Bella. Jasper I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that I didn't trust you." He smiled at her then turned to me.

"Bye Bella. You won't notice when we leave so I thought I'd say bye now. I'm so sorry for everything." He hugged me quickly.

"Don't be sorry Jasper. Please don't. But thanks. For everything." I crawled into bed and Alice crawled in next to me and put her arms around me.

"I love you Bella. Go to sleep, and remember, he does love you. Bye."

"Bye Alice, I love you too. Thanks for coming." I closed my eyes and slept a peaceful sleep for the first time since Edward had gone. I had forgotten about what was happening tomorrow, too caught up in my dreams of Alice and the Cullen's coming back for me. I didn't think about the future. I was too happy in the moment.

ALICE

**( AN:This is going back to before she arrived at Bella's to explain how she got there.)**

I was lying on my bed, going through every minute of the future. So far I hadn't got anything. I didn't know how she was going to become one of us. Then I saw her in hospital, not in the bed though. A familiar face was in the bed, but I couldn't place him. Bella was staring at him in worry. But she looked up, and her face went pale. As pale as us. And she looked shocked, but then her face lit with such joy I fell to the floor. Then she froze. And it went blank. I didn't know how the conversation would go. Who would she meet? And where was the hospital? What did it have to do with us? I needed to go see her. I had to see what was going to happen, what would make her go to this hospital, and what it had to do with us. I sat up and went straight to Carlisle's office. I knocked and heard him tell me to come in.

"Alice, what can I do for you?"

"I need to see Bella. Something is going to happen in a hospital, something to do with us. But I need to see how and where. I need to go to her. I won't talk to her, I'll just listen to her conversations, see if I can pick up any clues." Carlisle studied my face.

"Okay, go but be back in two days time. No later than say 3 in the morning."

"3?"

"I figure Bella will want you to stay until she falls asleep." I grinned nervously at him.

"Thanks. But I can't see her. It would be so much worse for both her and me." He nodded his head.

"Okay, but if you do speak to her, tell her hi from us, and that we all still love her. And try and explain Edward." He sighed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do with him."

"He'll come round. And soon. Within the month he will be back. And Bella will be here. And we can be happy again."

"I know. Take Jasper with you as well. I'm sure you'll need him."

"Thank you." I left immediately, barely stopping to explain to Esme and Emmett. Rosalie couldn't care less and was sitting as far away from us as possible. As we left I heard Rosalie speak.

"For God's sake, she's just a girl. She's not even pretty." I heard Emmett growl at her, but then we were off. We swam through the lake and ran into Canada. It was much quieter and we didn't have to pay as much attention to not getting noticed. We were outside her house in less than 2 hours. I smelt her heading into the woods but I resisted the urge to after her. I asked Jasper to stay behind and I crept into her room. I looked around and the sight pained me. It didn't look lived in. I frowned as I caught the scent of my brother. I lifted up the floorboards at the end of her bed and I could have cried at the sight. It was the pictures and CD we'd given her. He'd taken away the last memory she had of us. Then I heard the front door open and close.

"Bella?" Charlie called from down stairs. I put the floorboard back and jumped out the window, running to Jasper.

"You okay?" I nodded and he seemed to understand. He held me close to him and I buried my face in his neck. We stayed like that, until I caught the scent of someone.

"Victoria," I hissed. "Shit. Come on Jasper, we need to get her away." It wasn't needed though. As soon as she caught our scent she fled and we were able to go back to the house. Bella had returned and I could see the outline of her through the window. I saw her fall down on the floor, I heard her sobs, raking through her body. She didn't get off the floor. I ran to her window and jumped up. She lay, curled up in a ball, her arms clutching her sides. She was sleeping, though restlessly. I picked her up gently and carried her to her bed. I pulled her covers over her and she sighed in her sleep. I wanted to stay but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to her. I went back to Jasper and we sat down on the grass and just watched her window in silence.

She looked suspicious the next morning. She looked around her garden from the window like she knew I was there. She looked tired. Then she shook her head and slammed the window shut. I heard her truck pull out of her drive soon after. AS soon as she had left I jumped back up and yanked her window open. I went to straight to her bed and pulled the covers up around me. I sobbed silently, the tears I wanted to fall never coming. Jasper held me but it wasn't the comfort I needed. I shouldn't have come here. It was worse seeing it for real, than in the visions. All too soon I heard both Bella and Charlie's cars pull up. I quickly sorted her bed and we both jumped out the window and into the cover of the trees. I heard Bella rummaging around in her room. I heard her stop and then she came to the window. She looked like she was crawling to it, so she wouldn't be noticed. I almost laughed. I saw her look around then stand properly when she realised no one was there. She smacked her hand against the window frame, so Bella. She cried out in pain and started hopping around her room. I heard her quieten down, but then she came back.

"Alice." Shit, how did she know I was here. I felt Jasper's hands grasp the top of mine. He whispered to me.

"You can't Alice. You will make it worse for yourself when we have to go."

"Alice I know you're there. If you don't come out I'm going to jump out this window." Oh crap, another Bella stunt. She pulled herself up onto the edge of the window. No way. She wasn't actually going to do this. Jasper's hands tightened. I started pulling against him and the bushes around me rustled.

"I'm going to jump on 5. 1.....2.....3, I took my foot off the ledge, 4..."

I saw her jump and grab hold of the window to steady herself. She turned around and looked at something in her room. Then she started talking. To herself.

"Oh. I was...eh... trying to get your idiot of a sister to come see me. She was here." What? It sounds like she's talking to—No, there's no one else there though!

She started to get down but then something made her climb back up.

"No! Don't go!" she called out.

"Stay and I will." She sighed

"Why not?" She had gone crazy. She was having a whole conversation, just by herself. Then she mentioned me again.

"Fine. I'll get Alice." She turned back around.

"Hi again Alice. On three, 1,2,3," and then she jumped. I lost control. I tore myself from Jaspers grip and ran towards, catching her as she fell.

"Alice!" She grinned up at me. I put her down and glared at her.

"What the hell was that about?!"

* * *

**So I hope you enjoyed it, it's the longest chapter I've wrote so far as well..and also i know I said they were in chicago but I changed my mind because Michigan City is better situated,its got some forest near it (at least according to google earth),,,reviews are tres tres welcome!! **


	4. Why can't I stop thinking?

I don't own,,,,,,hope you enjoy!!!

* * *

BELLA

"Bella? Bella? It's time to wake up. You need to be at the hospital in an hour. Wake up sweetheart." I groaned and rolled over, frowning. That wasn't Alice. I opened my eyes. Charlie's face was inches from mine.

"What? Where's Alice? She was here!" Charlie frowned at me.

"Bella you must have been dreaming, there's no one but me here." I shook my head.

"No she was definitely here!" I sat up and looked around. I could still smell her on my sheets. I noticed an envelope on my desk; it said my name on the front. I brightened at the thought that it might be from Alice.

"Bella!" I looked at Charlie again, who was trying to get my attention. "Bella you need to get dressed, you have an hour until you leave." Then it all came rushing back to me. Jacob. Shit, Jacob was ill and I was here, gazing in amazement at something that might not even be from Alice. Just thinking about her made me smile. I could tell Jacob! Then I frowned. No I couldn't, he hates the Cullen's. And he's ill. Why on earth would he want to hear about something that made me happier than I was with him? It would just depress him. Oh God I was a terrible person. Jacob was my friend and I had to focus on him. The Cullen's could come later.

"Okay, I'm up!" I got out of bed and shoved Charlie out the door. I refused to look at the white envelope lying on my desk. In stead I went to my wardrobe and grabbed some clothes out. I smiled grimly. Alice had returned some of my non-presentable clothes to the wardrobe, and taken some of the nicer ones that weren't so bad out. They must be in my bag. Then I frowned. I was thinking about her again. I could have screamed. I quickly got dressed and ran down the stairs, leaving the offending envelope where it was. Charlie was waiting for me in the kitchen.

"I...uh...made you breakfast." He pointed to a pile of pancakes on the table. "I don't know if there edible or not but I....um....thought, considering I won't see you for a while that...it would be....nice," he finished lamely.

"Thanks Charlie. I'm sure they'll be great." I sat down and tentatively took a bite. My eyes went wide.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you could cook!" He blushed slightly.

"I didn't know I could. They're good then?" I nodded whilst eating more.

"They are great! It's a perfect going away present. Now I know you won't starve!" I blushed then. I still wasn't great at talking so much with him.

"Okay, do you want to know about the hotel I've found you?" I nodded again. "Right, it's called the Sea King Hotel. It's on the outskirts of the city near the beach the lake has. You will have to get a bus to the hospital but I checked and there's a stop right outside your house. It's pretty good hotel and it's quite cheap as well. I'll help you pay it of course."

"No! Really, I've got loads of savings of my own!" I couldn't let him pay. It was me that suggested this and I would get there myself.

Charlie looked at me and narrowed his eyes.

"I am going to pay for some of this Bella. I'm your father. Oh and I've told Renee and she says she will send you money to the hotel. Now that's enough. Eat your breakfast and then go check you have everything. I don't know if you finished. You were completely out when I came up not long after." I finished the meal in silence and went up to my room. I checked my bag and sure enough, my clothes were all re-folded neatly and in a nice order, with none of my 'ugly' clothes as she had used to say. I half smiled then remembered Jacob. He could die. He was probably going to. I couldn't live without him. I started hyperventilating and crawled to my window and threw open the window. No. I promised myself I wouldn't think about that yet. I couldn't. Slowly my breathing calmed and soon I heard Charlie yell at me from downstairs. I walked over to the desk and picked up the envelope. I twirled it around in my hands before stuffing in into my bag and hurrying down the stairs.

"I'm ready Cha-Dad." He took hold of my bag and went outside, chucking it in to the boot of his cruiser. Great, we were travelling in style. I groaned at the thought. I climbed in and Charlie started the car. We didn't speak on the way to the hospital, both too wrapped up in our own thoughts. When we pulled up at the hospital neither of us made any move to get out the door.

"Bella-"

"Dad-" We both laughed nervously. He motioned for me to go first.

"Thank you for letting me go. And thanks you know, for finding a hotel and stuff. And the money. I'll phone you and Billy as often as I can." He nodded. When he spoke, his voice caught.

"Bells please be safe. Don't go injure yourself when you are up there alone. And phone me if you need ANYTHING!" I nodded.

"Okay." He reached over and hugged me awkwardly. I coughed and he quickly opened the door. He pulled open my door and we went inside to meet Doctor Teller and the guy who would be flying us over there. We met up at Jacob's room, grabbed Jacobs's stretcher, and went straight out onto the rooftop where the air ambulance helicopter sat. There would be the pilot and one Doctor flying with us, but I would be the only one in the back with Jacob. Doctor Teller introduced the pilot as Matt Sholer and the Doctor as Mary Swint. They both shook my hand and explained some of the rules for on board. Half the time though I wasn't listening. I was too busy concentrating on what the envelope in my bag might say. They abruptly finished and I nodded in response, still half a world away. I numbly hugged Charlie while they loaded Jacob onto the helicopter. They gave me some safety stuff and told me to get on. Still in a daze, I climbed up and Mary came to strap me in. Both she and the pilot would be sitting upfront, meaning I would be alone with Jacob in the back. Jacob grabbed my hand and I smiled at him. He took a look at my face and closed his half opened mouth. He frowned at me. I looked at the floor and didn't say anything. I head the rotors start up and soon we were off the ground. I waved at Charlie out the window. And then all I could see were clouds.

"So Bella." I looked up at Jacob. "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" He was speaking loudly over the noise, but I could tell the people in front couldn't hear us. I hesitated. "Bella, it's okay if you don't want to." He started coughing and I tried to jump up but was yanked back by the seatbelt. Mary turned from the front.

"BELLA! SIT DOWN! HE HAS SOMETHING FOR IT!" I did as she said and when I looked back at Jacob I saw he had an oxygen mask around his face. I cringed. He saw me and took it off.

"Bella I'm okay! Now, are you going to say anything?"

"Um, it's just, well, you will be really angry!"

"Bella I could never be angry with you."

"I know. I'm not expecting you to be." He looked at me in confusion.

"Okay, okay. I saw Alice last night." His face darkened.

"Alice Cullen?" He growled at her name. I looked back at the floor.

"Yes. Jasper was there as well."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Honestly. I smelt her in my room so I went to the window and threatened to jump out if she didn't come—"

"You did WHAT?!" He started coughing again and I tried to get out of my seat.

"Oh my god Jacob I'm so sorry!" He waved me off and put the mask back on. A couple of minutes later he turned back to me.

"You almost jumped out a window?" He was glowering at me and I looked back at the floor.

"Um no."

"Thank GOD Bella!" I cut him off.

"I meant I didn't ALMOST jump out a window. I, um, did jump out a window..." I trailed off at the end and when Jacob didn't respond I looked up at him. He was staring at me in shock. It was then that I realised he didn't know about the vampires. He still thought they were a legend. Shit. How was I going to get out of this one?

"Well she uh caught me. It turned out she was hiding below my window. Lucky I suppose." His face hardened.

"Did you talk to her?"

"Of course I did! She's my best friend!"

"Was Bella. WAS your best friend. But of course, you would do anything for them," he sneered at me.

"Obviously. I love them. I never stopped."

"Yup. I know." He turned his back to me and let go of my hand.

"Jacob, I'm sorry! I know you hate them."

"They were there when my mother was killed. Of course I hate them. And you should too."

"Jacob I could never hate them." He didn't answer and I sighed and went back to staring at the floor. About an hour later, I heard him snoring slightly. I turned to my back and reluctantly pulled out the envelope. My hands were shaking as I slid the letter out.

_Bella,_

_Thank you for being so kind yesterday. You don't know pleased I was to see you. I have to ask though, please don't do anything rash. I don't want you hurting yourself, so no more jumping out of windows! Please don't be upset, I couldn't bear knowing that it was me who had caused you to be so sad. Remember I see you too. Thanks for talking to Jasper. You may not know what you did, but he has felt dreadful since your birthday. So thank you. Remember what I said about Edward. He loves you so much. Please believe me. Just wait. It will all work out. I wish I could tell you everything, but I already have warned Jasper not to let me tell you too much. I hate to leave you again, it was amazing seeing you. I've missed you so much. Please be safe. And remember we all love you. You have still not left us. We will always think of you as family._

_See you soon,_

_Love Alice xxxxx_

I had tears running down my face by the end of the letter. I curled my legs up and I cried until I fell asleep.

When I woke up I was told by Mary that we were about 10 minutes away. Jacob was still sleeping. I still had the letter in my hand and I quickly put it back in my bag and looked down below me. I stared dreamily as the clouds passed, imagining the shapes they made. That one was like a car. A big flashy sports car. And that one was like a lion, just what _HE _liked. BELLA. No. Don't even go there.

"Bella! We're getting ready for landing! Hold on!" I grabbed the sides of my seat and closed my eyes, waiting for impact. There was a small bump and I gripped even tighter.

"Bella!" I opened one eye. "We've landed." Oh. Well that was much more sedate than I was suspecting.

"Bella."

"Jacob! You're awake! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you or anything—" He put his hand up to stop me.

"Bella I know. I went into this relationship with you, fully well knowing that you loved them and could never stop loving them. It's my fault. I over reacted. Though I still think that jumping out of the window was a tad over the top. You could have died!" He looked on sternly.

"Okay. I know, I'm sorry. It was just the thought of them being here again." My face fell.

"Oh Bella. They can't come back. Not after what they put you through."

"They didn't put me through anything. I choose to be like that. I didn't want to forget. It's not their fault." He sighed.

"I'm not getting into this now. I don't want a fight." He closed his eyes again. That wasn't like him. He must be really sick. Well duh, they moved him to another hospital.

Just then Mary came in and helped me out and chucked down my luggage.

"Bella, we're just going to get Jacob settled in. His Doctor won't be able to see him for a while so why don't you go get a taxi to wherever you're staying and rest a bit. Come back for about 4ish. I looked at my watch. It was 2. Did the flight take that long? Wow. I'm glad I was asleep. I nodded to her and quickly said goodbye to Jacob who was now off the helicopter. I headed off through the hospital and hailed a taxi. Before I knew it I was in my room. Okay, what the hell just happened? I can't remember a thing since I got in the taxi. What is wrong with me?

I sank down onto my bed and gazed up at the ceiling. Why wasn't I sadder? I should be worried right now! Jacob was really sick. Why wasn't I worried? Wait a sec.

It struck me. I scrambled to my bag and tore open the letter from Alice again. It said it there. '_It will be alright.' _She knew! Alice knew everything will be fine. She'd seen it! That's why I wasn't worrying! My subconscious knew it would be alright. I re-read the letter and my heart stopped. There in the last line. _'See you soon.' _What does she mean see you soon? Will I see her again? Will I see Esme and everyone? I squealed. Wait calm down Bella. She might just be saying that as a message of goodbye. Everyone says it. But what if it's true? How long is soon? Soon as in the next week? Or month, or year? I started shaking. What about Edward? Would I see him again? And if I did what about Jacob? He knew how I felt about Edward yet I couldn't just leave him hanging. But wait. It doesn't matter. Edward wouldn't want me. He had told me. But then why did Alice disagree so strongly? Is there even a small possibility that he could still love me? If he did I wouldn't be able to stay away from him. He was like a drug to me. I would leave Jacob in a moment's notice for Edward. But I couldn't just now. I had promised Billy to stay with him. I couldn't leave Jacob alone. I had to stay.

Okay Bella. What the hell are you on about? Alice probably didn't even mean anything by it so stop making up scenarios in your head. Maybe a shower will clear my head.

I went into the adjoining bathroom and went into the shower. The warm water relaxed my stiff muscles from the flight over. I stayed in until the water began to run cold. I climbed out and looked at the clock. It was quarter past three. I better hurry. I brushed through my hair and eventually just tied it up when it wouldn't sit straight. I pulled out of the bag some of the clothes that Alice had repacked for me. At least she had put in some jeans I guess. I hurried outside to the bus stop and got the next bus that came. I was still on the bus when I remembered that I needed to text Charlie to say we arrived okay. I quickly did that and by that time we were almost there. I asked at the reception for Jacobs's room and she sent me up. He was sleeping again. I laughed and sank into the chair beside the bed. Then it happened.

Alice was right. Of course she was. I never should have doubted her. He walked straight into my room. Carlisle Cullen. He stared at me in shock.

"B...Bella?" I stared at him, and then it hit me. They were back! I smiled and stepped towards him. I heard running footsteps.

"Carlisle! Carlisle!" They skidded to a stop and there at the door was Alice.

"It's Bella! She's here!" Then she saw me. Her hand flew to her mouth.

"Sorry, I was too late." Too late? Did that mean she didn't want me here? She was too late to stop this from happening? It was too much. Everything had taken too much from me. I fainted. I saw Alice run towards me before the room went black.

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so i hope you enjoyed! would you like the bit of between what happened in Alice's point of view??? I like writing with the Cullens there! Anyway please review with any comments!


	5. Back to Life Part 1

**i dont ownnnn,,,**

**i had to split this chap in two cos it was way way way to big,,,i hope you enjoy,,,review por favor!  
**

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APOV **(This overlaps a bit but it is necessary to read)**

Bella's breathing was gradually slowing as she sank into a peaceful sleep. I was worried about what would happen after we'd left. This could set her back so much but I couldn't have very well left her to jump out a window. I looked at Jasper and he nodded. She was asleep. I unravelled her from me and went straight to her suitcase. I sighed.

"Ah Bella. You never learn." Jasper chuckled at me. At vampire speed I quickly repacked her clothes, replacing them with fairly decent ones. When I was finished I spotted a black bin bag at the bottom of the wardrobe. I knew I shouldn't look but my curiosity was too strong. I looked in it and there sitting scraped and ruined almost beyond recognition, lay the stereo we had gotten for her truck. I'd seen the vision of her taking it out but I didn't realise she had kept it. I tried to stifle a sob but Jasper could sense what I was feeling. He pulled me into a tight hug, rocking me back and forth.

"I don't want to leave," I muttered in-between my sobs.

"I know Alice but we have to. And Bella will be with us soon. You've seen it." I sniffed.

"At least we know why she's going to be there. Jacob will be at Carlisle's hospital. When though? Soon obviously. Arrrgggghhh! I can't think." I raised my voice in frustration and Bella rolled over in her sleep.

"Shhhh. You're just upset and stressed. Once we leave you'll be fine." I pretended to agree.

"I want to leave her a letter. To tell her......stuff."

"Is that a smart idea Alice?" I looked up at him.

"Stop me if I write too much. Don't let me tell her anything." I grabbed a pen and paper and started writing.

_Bella_

"Edward."

"What?" I turned round. I looked at Jasper and he nodded silently towards Bella.

"She said his name in her sleep." I looked back at Bella.

"Edward." I needed to know what she was thinking.

"Show me what she's feeling." I felt a jolt of joy go through me, but it suddenly changed. I was cold, I was lost, dead, I couldn't feel. And then the pain was searing through me, worse than when I was changed.

"No Edward! Don't go please! Come back!" She started sobbing in her sleep, grabbing onto the bedcovers. Then a jolt of hope went through me.

"Alice." She said my name.

"Alice said, she said." And then a jolt of pain shot through me again.

"Not true. Never. No." I was sobbing silently now.

"Jasper help her!"

"Trying," he whispered, his voice strained. Now I was focusing on him I felt it. He was sending out wave and wave of calm and it was taking its toll on Bella. She was gradually quietening and was growing less restless. Eventually her sobs stopped completely and Jasper was able to breathe freely. I turned to him.

"He is going to pay for this." I turned back to my letter. I'd only written one word.

_Thank you for being so kind yesterday. You don't know pleased I was to see you. I have to ask though, please don't do anything rash. I don't want you hurting yourself, so no more jumping out of windows!_

Okay that was the warning her over. What else could I tell her? This was harder than I thought.

_Please don't be upset, I couldn't bear knowing that it was me who had caused you to be so sad. Remember I see you too._

Jasper was leaning over my shoulder, reading what I was writing.

"Tell her I say thank you."

_Thanks for talking to Jasper. You may not know what you did, but he has felt dreadful since your birthday. So thank you._

Edward. I had to tell her about Edward.

_Remember what I said about Edward. He loves you so much. Please believe me. Just wait. It will all work out._

This was so hard. I couldn't tell her what was going to happen. Someone help! Wait I can write that.

_I wish I could tell you everything, but I already have warned Jasper not to let me tell you too much._

Maybe I should end it. I'm going to tell her something if I carry on.

_I hate to leave you again, it was amazing seeing you. I've missed you so much. Please be safe. And remember we all love you. You have still not left us. We will always think of you as family._

_See you soon,_

_Love Alice xxxxx_

I hoped she wouldn't notice the 'see you soon' I had added in.

Finally. I'd finished it. I looked at my watch. It was one in the morning. We need to leave now if we wanted to be back with time to spare. And I needed the time, there was something I had to do.

"Jasper we should leave now." He nodded and quickly jumped out the window. I turned back to Bella.

"Bye Bella, see you soon." I turned, flew out the window and started running before the tears could start.

"Sorry about earlier," I told him. "I do trust you. It's just, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to her."

"It's fine Alice. I'm sorry too." He took my hand and we ran faster. It was 2:01 when we reached the house.

As we entered everyone seemed to do a silent assessment of us but it was Esme who asked the question.

"You spoke to her didn't you?" I nodded. Rosalie hissed.

"You weren't supposed to Alice!" she said through gritted teeth. I turned and snarled at her.

"She jumped out her window because she knew I was there! I had to catch her." I let them react knowing that speaking was pointless. Esme gasped and sank down onto a chair; Emmett clenched his fists and growled slightly; Carlisle's eyes narrowed as he went and sat by his wife while Rosalie just folded her arms.

"Go on."

"Then she asked me to stay and I couldn't say no! She told me about Jacob and how she's been hearing voices—" Carlisle stood up at this point.

"Hearing voices?"

"Well not voices, just one."

"Edward's?" asked Esme.

"Yes. Whenever she did anything stupid or dangerous, she said he would appear beside her and try to persuade her to stop. It's as if her subconscious mind is screaming at her to believe that he still loves her but she won't listen. I tried to convince her but nothing worked. She still dreams about him. She was sleep talking. It was like a fight between what she believed and what I'd told her."

"Why is she so convinced he doesn't love her?" asked Emmett. Jasper replied, with a low growl in his throat.

"Because that's what he told her when he left." Carlisle shook his head.

"He brings this on himself, he really does. But wait, Alice, she didn't see you before she jumped out the window?" I shook my head. "So how did she know you were there?"

"She could smell me." Emmett groaned.

"She was born to be one of us!" Rosalie glared at him then stalked out of the room.

"Oh shit—Sorry Esme," he muttered before running off to get Rosalie. I turned to Carlisle.

"I need to go see Edward." He nodded.

"The Jet will be ready," he replied.

"Bella will be at the hospital within a week so be prepared. I will try to get back to warn you when she will be here." I turned back to Jasper.

"Jas, could you come with me please?" He smiled down at me.

"Of course Alice."

We left immediately, after changing our clothes and hugging Esme goodbye. Our private jet was ready and waiting and by 8:30 in the morning we were in Mexico City.

He didn't hear us enter so I said the one word which could raise him out of his pit of misery.

"Bella." He stood up and turned towards so fast he was a blur. He growled when he saw it was us.

_I am so sorry Edward. We went to see her. Jasper and I._

He snarled loudly and flew towards me, smashing me against the wall and cracking it. Jasper jumped in and tried to pull him off me.

"Edward, get off her. NOW!" Jasper growled at him. He let go of me then shook Jasper off.

"You promised." He glared at me.

_I'm sorry Edward but I had to! _

He growled in response.

"What happened?" he asked. I hesitated, blocking my mind from him. He growled again. "Tell me Alice."

_She jumped out a window to get me to appear._

With a roar he sprang across the room and smashed his fist into the wall. Jasper grabbed hold of him again.

"Don't wreck the place man!"

_She's okay. I caught her. She hears your voice, you appear to her. She still loves you so much, even though she goes out with Jacob Black. She would drop him for you if you came back. She dreams about you. _

My mind flashed through Bella's sleep talking incident.

_Deep down she knows you still love her, please Edward, come back. We need you!_

He seemed to crumple beneath my gaze.

"I can't. Not after what I put her through." Jasper was sending out waves and waves of calm but nothing was working. He gave up and focused on trying to get away from Edward's pain. I knelt down in front of him and pulled his gaze to mine.

"Please Edward." He looked away and Jasper let go of him and cried out clutching his head.

"Stop Edward please!" he pleaded.

"EDWARD! She loves you! Come back to us! For Bella!" He sank to the ground in defeat.

"Give me a month." I smiled. He was coming back!

"Good." I glanced at Jasper. His face was still crunched up and he was in obvious discomfort but he didn't seem to be in as much pain.

"Come on Jas, we can go now." I was heading out the door when the vision came.

"SHIT!" I blocked my mind from Edward.

"What?" Edward had stood up.

"Um nothing. I just realised I'd forgotten something really important. Jas we need to go now. Bye Edward." I turned and ran onto the roof. I ran from building to building, jumping the gaps.

"What's going on Alice?" Jasper asked when we were out of earshot from Edward,

"Bella. She's coming back today. We need to get back, to warn Carlisle. He won't have his cell phone on him—he's in surgery all morning." He didn't reply, just quickened his pace. We were almost at the airport. If the plane was ready we might just make it. It was almost 10. Bella would see Carlisle at 4:08. If we left immediately and ran all the way from the airport in Michigan City we might just make it. As we reached the airport doors I had to slow to a human's pace. I growled under my breath and glared at anyone who dared to get in my way. I ran straight to our terminal and ordered the pilot to fly immediately. Luckily he could and soon we were in the air. As soon as I could, I stood up and began pacing.

"Alice, is it really that big a problem that we don't warn him?"

"It's Bella's reaction I'm worried about. I have to be there to calm her."

"Calm her?"

"So far we have three options. One, Bella starts yelling about stupid, unpredictable vampires and Carlisle has to give her a shot. Two, Bella starts trying to attack Carlisle and breaks her wrist in the process. Three, she faints, bangs her head and ends up with a concussion. If we get there in time either I can stop it from happening or at least catch her when she falls."

"_Bella _goes for Carlisle? Are you sure? Our Bella?" I turned and growled at him. I was not in the mood for jokes. He sobered up quickly. I sighed."Sorry Jas. I don't know what's gotten into me." He nodded in understanding and pulled me onto his lap. The hours slowly ticked by and then, finally, thank goodness, we were in Michigan.

As soon as the plane had stopped I was off and running. I didn't look at the time. I didn't want to know if I was too late. I blocked my mind from getting any visions about what would happen. If Edward found out about Bella getting hurt as soon as she saw us again then his reason for leaving would be proven. I was running slightly faster than a human pace but I didn't care. I was almost at the hospital. Jasper was a lot further behind due to running at a more conspicuous speed. I raced through the doors and up the stairs not caring for the looks I was getting. When I got to the right floor I started shouting.

"Carlisle! Carlisle!" My soprano voice was not made for this. Then I saw him in the doorway of a room.

"Carlisle! It's Bella! She's here!" I stopped and looked at his face. He was staring at something in the room. I turned around to look. Bella.

"I'm sorry. I was too late!" I saw Bella's face fall and then her body went limp. I ran forward and caught her before she hit the floor.

"Oh my god Bella!" Carlisle finally came out of his shock and jumped into action.

"Alice come with me. There's a free room down the hall." Jasper caught up with us as we were leaving the room, no one paying attention to Jacob Black who was sleeping.

"Is she okay? What happened?" I didn't answer. Bella was cold in my arms and she was deathly pale, like us. Her eyes were slightly red, as if she'd been crying but it wasn't that noticeable. Carlisle motioned for me to go into one of the rooms and I put Bella gently down on the bed. He called for one of the nurses to get some smelling salts and a glass of water. He then checked her pulse and made sure her airways were clear. It was standard procedure but it still made me worry that something was actually wrong with her.

"Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine Alice; she just fainted from the shock I think." I sank onto the seat beside her bed.

"Thank goodness!" Jasper chuckled and I looked at him questionably.

"I see you got here in time to stop her attacking Carlisle and injuring herself." He laughed again.

"She was going to attack me? What have I done?"

"It was more in anger at, and I quote, 'stupid unpredictable vampires'." Carlisle chuckled.

"That does sound like Bella." The nurse came back and the handed the stuff to Carlisle. He passed me the water and went to Bella with the salts. He passed them under her nose at the same time as she took a breath. Her eyes fluttered open. He helped her sit up and I passed her the water. She took a sip then noticed who was around her.

"Oh crap! What happened?" I stared at her confused.

"What?"

"How did I die?" I almost laughed. That was so Bella.

"You didn't."

"I must have. You wouldn't be here otherwise! Where am I?"

"You're at the hospital. You fainted when you saw us in Jacob's room."

"Really? You're here? And I'm not dead? Or dreaming?"

"Nope." She didn't seem convinced though.

She turned from me to the others and Carlisle hugged her immediately.

"I'm so glad you're back Bella."

"Sorry." Another typical Bella line.

"For what?" he asked her perplexed.

"For surprising you and disrupting your life here." She played with her hands nervously.

"Bella I'm just glad you're here. We missed you. Esme will be so glad to see you." The smile that lit up her face was stunning.

"You mean I can see her again?" she asked, her face shining.

"Yes of course!"

"Really?" Her face fell slightly. "You mean...um...Ed—uh you know?" I caught on quickly.

"He's not here Bella. You can see us all you want, he won't stop you." She smiled at me but I could catch a bit of disappointment in her eyes. She wanted to see him. She turned to Jasper now and did something I did not see coming. She launched herself at him and threw her arms around his neck.

"Jasper!" He stiffened slightly at the closeness of her smell but then relaxed into her embrace.

"Hey Bells."

"Thank you for coming to see me yesterday. He smiled down at her.

"It was my pleasure." He squeezed her slightly harder before releasing her. His eyes were sparkling for the first time in months. Bella really did complete every one of us. I coughed loudly to get her attention.

"What about my hug? I'm offended!" Bella turned to me giggling. I held out my arms and she ran into them.

"Alice thank you! For your letter and everything! I love you so much!"

"Bella, do you mind if I phone Esme so she can come see you?" Carlisle asked.

"Of course not. I'd love to see her." Carlisle turned to me.

"Alice, could you please come with me." I nodded and followed him out the door. I knew before he asked what was coming. He hadn't had a chance to asked me given the circumstances with Bella.

"Edward?" I smiled.

"He said he'll be back within a month. For definite. He wants to get Bella back."

"Thank goodness. Will he be angry that Bella is already here?"

"I don't know. I can't see what his reaction will be." He nodded thoughtfully.

We'd reached the phone and he quickly dialled our number.

"Hi love, how are you?"

"I'm good too. Look we need all of you to come to the hospital. We have some good news."

"Yeh Alice and Jasper are here. They just got back."

"Okay I'll see you in 20. Love you. Bye." He turned back to me and eyed me thoughtfully. We started back to the room.

"Jasper seems much more...alive and...happy than usual."

"He is. It's all Bella. She doesn't blame for what he did at all and trusts him 100% even though she shouldn't. He's really beginning to love her. She's like the little sister he never had. The one that he can protect, that would trust him with her life. Rosalie isn't really the same." I grinned at this thought. Carlisle laughed.

"Bella brings out the best in us. She's the kindest, most forgiving person I've ever met. Our life isn't complete without her." We were at the room again and the sight that awaited us stopped us in our tracks. Bella and Jasper were sitting on the bed, with Bella leaning against him, resting her head on his shoulder. They were both laughing as Bella tried to beat him I a thumb war. Jasper wasn't cringing away from her appealing scent, but instead was taking deep breaths of the air around him.

"She really is part of the family," I whispered to Carlisle. He nodded in return.

"It's good to have her back."

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**Hope you enjoyed! Jasper is going to have a much bigger part in this than he does in the books because he is one of my fav characters! Reviews are tres tres welcome!**


	6. Back to Life Part 2

**dont own,, lovely Stephenie Meyer does!**

**wow, i have two chaps up in one day,,this will probably be the first and last time!!! so enjoy it while you can! lol,,**

**right i will say this in future chaps as well, but for reference: Jacob is NOT a wolf, There is NO wolves in this story! Just vampires! **

**hope you enjoy,, review what you think!  
**

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BPOV

Alice and Carlisle had left and I went back to the bed and crossed my legs on it. Jasper followed and sat down next to me.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I asked.

"Same thing. For forgiving me, trusting me--" I cut him off.

"Jasper drop it! Of course I trust you! You won't hurt me."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I may not be able to see the future but I do have my own powers." I laughed.

"Seriously Bells, how do you know?" I stopped laughing.

"The look in your eyes. It's the same as Alice's, as Carlisle's. You just want to protect me. And by the way, I don't need protecting!" I laughed but Jasper didn't join in.

"What's up Jasper?"

"You're right," he whispered. "I couldn't hurt you now. You trust me so much, and I couldn't break that." I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"So, does that mean you can breathe in my scent easily now or is it still tempting?" He took a deep breath and smiled.

"Well I guess that answers that."

"You're like the sister I can protect. It's nice to be seen as the good guy for once instead of always being the weak link in the family. Your scent is lovely, but it's got no temptation anymore. I can't hurt you." He smiled at me and I smiled back. I could feel my tears sting the back of my eyes. He could sense the change in my emotions.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"It's just nice. To feel...this...this safe...and loved...again. I never thought I'd be able to feel that again. Not after you all left." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed.

"I will not leave you again Bella. Nor will Alice. We can't now." We sat in silence for a couple of moments.

"But you would. If he asked again you would go without a second thought for me. I know you would. You did before and you will again."

"I meant what I said. I will not leave you. And neither will Alice. She suffered too much the first time to lose you again. If he asks us to leave you, then the others can go, but we will stay where you are."

"Would you make me like you?" The question was out before I could stop it.

"I don't know Bells. Alice has considered it, but decided in the long run it wasn't a great plan."

"Wait, Alice thought about it? Really? Do you think I could persuade her now?"

"Bella no. She knows what will happen and she can't do that. She can't ruin the future."

"Why would she ruin it?"

"Because the future is perfect. Wait and see. I can't say anymore than that. But you wait Bella." We were silent as Jasper tried to cheer me up with his power. It didn't work.

"Okay I have an idea to cheer you up. I'll give you a thumb war. For every game you win I'll give you $15 and for every game you lose it means one shopping trip with Alice, no complaining!"

"Fine, you're on." I would win, I was amazing at this.

"Hey! Stop cheating! You can't move that fast!" He had pinned my thumb down.

"You should have told me that before we started!" We started again and this time I used a tactic called run away. I spent the entire time trying to avoid his thumb and not attacking at all, we lasted a minute before he won. I burst out laughing and then with my other hand grabbed his thumb and tried to force it down, laughing the whole time.

I looked up when I heard Alice laugh. She was standing in the doorway, watching us with a smile on her face. I looked at her then frowned. She was at my side in a second.

"Bella what is it?"

"Alice,"

"Yeh?"

"How long can I see you for?" I whispered. "I don't want to lose you again but h....he'll find out and I'll have to go." I heard Jasper sigh.

"Bella we've been through this," Jasper said. Alice glared at her husband before turning back to me.

"Oh Bella." She brought me onto her lap and rocked me.

"Never Bella, you will never have to leave us again."

"B...but how?"

"Just trust me Bella please?" I nodded my head.

Alice's eyes went blank for a couple of seconds.

"Esme will be here in two minutes," she said as she opened her eyes.

"I'll go get Carlisle and then go meet them." She left the room and I turned to Jasper.

"Them?" I asked frantically.

"Emmett and Rosalie are coming too." I froze.

"Rosalie's coming?" He saw my face and quickly reassured me.

"She'll be fine. If she says anything just ignore her." He patted my shoulder then stood up as Carlisle came through the door. I followed suit.

"Bella I didn't tell her you were here, just that I had some good news." I nodded mutely. A few minutes later I heard Alice's voice down the corridor. She came in first, followed by the others. They didn't see me.

"So, what's the good news?" Esme asked.

"It's not just good news actually. It's fantastic news." I blushed slightly. Carlisle nodded in my direction and they all turned towards me. Esme let out a little squeak as she saw me.

"Oh my God Bella!" I ran to Esme and hugged her, tears falling from my eyes. I heard Rosalie mutter something but I ignored her.

"Esme I've missed you so much!"

"Oh Bella I can't believe you're really here! And did you really jump out a window?" Right on cue my face reddened as I nodded and looked at the ground. Before Esme could scold me, Emmett came up and grabbed me in a giant bear hug and swung me around the room. I laughed at him.

"Hey Emmett!"

"Hey Bella, how are you doing?" He put me down so I could answer.

"Not bad." Rosalie nodded at me and I nodded back, icily.

"Well I'll leave you to catch up in here; I need to go check on my patients." Carlisle left the room.

"So Bella, where are you staying?" Esme asked me as she sat down on the bed and pulled me down beside her.

"Um, I think it's called the Sea King Hotel, on the outside of the city."

"Cheap crap," muttered Rosalie from the corner. I glared at her and moved to get up but Jasper grabbed me and pulled me back down.

"Don't rise Bella, she's not worth it," he told me.

"Oh so Bella even has the mighty Jasper Hale on her side now. Typical." Jasper snarled at her. Then I lost it completely. I was sick of being looked down at by her for no reason, I'd had enough before. I stood up, yanking my arm from Jasper's grip.

"Rosalie, you don't want to be here so go! I don't give a damn whether you are here or not. I don't know I'm meant to have done to you, so all I can assume is that you're a vain cow who needs to grow up!" I heard Jasper whisper to Emmett behind me.

"10 bucks on Bella," Jasper whispered.

"You're on!" Emmett replied.

"You're jealous because someone came into your family and all the attention wasn't on you! Well' I'm sorry but you know full well I did not want any of the attention so quit behaving like a two year old. Grow up or leave!" Everyone waited in silence to see Rosalie's response.

"Sorry Bella." Okay what?

"What?" I asked in surprise. She sighed.

"I said I'm sorry. You're right. I was jealous of you because Edward liked you better than me; I'm vain enough to see that it affected my behaviour towards you." I flinched when she said Edward's name but I hoped that no one noticed. "I'm sorry, I was a bitch." She smiled tentatively at me while I looked at her in shock. I had never heard Rosalie Hale apologise before. Then I realised I hadn't answered.

"Thank you," I whispered. Rosalie turned to Jasper.

"Sorry Jasper, I didn't mean what I said." He nodded her while holding out his hand to get his money off Emmett who was huffing at his loss.

"I didn't know you had it in you Bella!" he teased me. Esme pulled me back onto the bed.

"Bella, I was wondering if you would like to stay at our house? We could take you here every day and you wouldn't have to pay for transport costs." Yes, say yes Bella. No I can't. What about _him? _He would find out and I would never see them again. I can't have my heart broken twice. But Alice said! No Bella, you can't!

"I couldn't do that. It's far too much bother for you! Honestly I'm great at the hotel!" Crap, I was a never great at lying. I wanted to go, I knew I did. But I couldn't! As if she could read my mind, Alice leant forward and whispered in my ear, not that the whispering mattered considering everyone would hear it anyway.

"He won't be there Bella." She spoke louder now.

"And anyway, I already know you're going to say yes so you might as well save time." Damnit, stupid freaky vampires. Alice pouted and me and I groaned.

"Fine Alice. I'll come."

"At least sound as if you might enjoy it!" Esme exclaimed. Oops.

"Sorry Esme, of course I'd love to come."

Carlisle came into the room, breaking off our conversation.

"Bella, you might want to come with me. I need to talk to Jacob." Oh crap, Jacob. He was dying and I was here partying. I stood up immediately and followed him out the room, frowning. Jacob was awake in his room.

"So I see you know the Cullen's are here then?" he asked me. I nodded silently. Jacob then looked at Carlisle.

"So _'Doctor' _how am I?"

"Well the test results won't get back from the lab until tomorrow afternoon, but I am afraid that from what I've seen and the symptoms you have, I think the results will show us that you have HIV. Of course I cannot be certain, but the results tomorrow will confirm what you have. I may be wrong. I am sorry Jacob, I'll leave you two alone." He walked out the room.

"So, HIV," Jacob said hoarsely.

"It's not definite. He said he might be wrong." I was hoping with all my heart that he was wrong.

"Bella he said he was almost completely positive I have it." Tears began to fall down my face.

"I'm so sorry Jacob." I knelt by the edge of the bed. He brushed my tears away with his fingers.

"Well we'll find out tomorrow. Please don't tell Billy or Charlie until we know for definite." I nodded.

"Are the rest of them here?" I nodded again.

"Are you happy?" I nodded, hating myself for doing so.

"Is Ed— he back as well?" He'd broken off when I'd sobbed at the sound of his name. I shook my head.

"You miss him don't you?" I nodded again. Jacob pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Shhhh Bella, it will be okay. He'll come back when he knows you're here. You can be happy again." I sat up quickly.

"What do you mean?"

"Bella, you would be happy with him. I know that, I've seen it. I have to let you go." I started sobbing wildly.

"You don't want me anymore?"

"Bella I will always want you, but you will be happier with him. I will do whatever I can to make you happy."

"But he doesn't want me, he said so. He can't want me. You don't want me, you're leaving me alone." I was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Bella, please. Listen to me. I am not letting you go. I am giving you to who makes you happy. I still want you as a friend. I need you in my life. I couldn't just drop you. Never. And believe me he does love you. Who couldn't?" I didn't answer. He hugged me until I stopped crying and was able to get up off the bed. My gaze was completely blank as I stared at him.

"Bella please don't go to back to what you were before. I'm not leaving, Alice is here, and soon so will Edward. You can be whole again." I stared at him, frozen to the spot. Edward...was coming..._back?_

"What did you say?" I whispered.

"Bella, what?" he tried to get out of the bed to come to me, but I pushed him back.

"Have you spoken to Alice?" He nodded. She was still obsessed with her crazy idea that he loved me. She'd planned this. All along.

"That's why you broke up with me? She told you to?" I turned and ran out the room.

"Bella! No! Wait!" I ignored the shouts from Jacob and ran down the corridor. I could'nt to breathe. The tears were falling fast; I couldn't see where I was going. I felt strong arms grab me and a wave of calm went over me.

"NO! I DONT WANT TO BE CALM! LET ME GO JASPER!" I tried to pull myself away but the arms around me wouldn't budge. "LET ME GO! NOW!" I'd attracted a crowd but I didn't care. Alice was in front of me. I glared at her. "GET AWAY FROM ME! I DONT WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU! LET ME GO!" I screamed in frustration and Carlisle came up.

"Bella, I need you to calm down." I didn't listen and tried to break free of the strong, cold arms encasing me. I stomped on Jasper's foot but he didn't break his grip.

"Bella, please calm down!" Carlisle looked at me and I glared at him.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU AND ALICE! YOU PLANNED THIS! WELL I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! I'VE LOST EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF YOU!" I started pummelling Jasper with my fists. "LET ME GO!" Carlisle grabbed my arm and jabbed something into it. I felt myself go dizzy. My shouts lessened in force and suddenly my eyes were closing on their own. I felt Jasper lift me off the ground before the room went black for the second time today.

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**duh duh dunnnnnn!!!!!!!! cliffie,,sort i hope you enjoyed! review! **


	7. We're in Luck

**Hey, still dont own, much to my annoyance, sorry it took a while, mum stole my laptop! lol, i hope you enjoy! review!**

**this is just a re-edited version of what I put up last night!  
**

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APOV

What have I _done_? I was staring at Bella, limp in Jasper's arms. I didn't mean to cause such a problem. I was just trying to help. I started shaking. Bella was right. This was all my fault. What if she decided she didn't want to see us anymore? I couldn't cope. No, she has to stay! Jasper's eyes bored into mine. I could see the blame and hurt in them. I let out a quiet sob and looked away to Bella's pale, blank face. The crowd around us was starting to disperse, now that the action was over.

"Jasper take Bella back to the house and give her Edward's room. There's a bed in the attic. Let her wake up on her own, the shot should last a couple of hours. When she wakes up, keep her calm!" And let Alice explain whatever she did. Esme will drive you there. I'll be back as soon as I'm done here." He glanced at over at me. I was still shaking. "And Jasper, I know you're angry at her right now but please, try and calm her, she needs it," he said quietly. I heard Jasper sigh quietly and then immediately felt a lot calmer and I was able to relax and stop shaking.

"You didn't deserve that," hissed Jasper under his breath. I let out a sob quietly. He hates me. No one will ever forgive me for this.

No one spoke to me on the way to the house. I could feel them glare at me every couple of seconds, even Rosalie. Only Jasper, cradling Bella's head didn't look at me. He refused to even acknowledge me. I wasn't sure what was worse. Bella was lying across Jasper, Emmett and I in the backseat. She was still limp but thankfully her erratic breathing had calmed down. I looked down at my hands, thinking over what happened. I hadn't seen this coming. I didn't know that Jacob would do this.

**FLASHBACK**

_When Carlisle and I reached the room again he left to tend to his patients, Jacob first. When he came out, with some blood samples by the smell of things, he walked in the opposite direction from me. Good. I sneaked into Jacob's room, making sure none of the nurses were watching. I had to warn him, but I would need to be careful. He has no idea about vampires. He glared at me when I entered._

"_I take it all of you are back then?" I nodded, silently._

"_How is Bella?" _

"_She seems happy. Her and Jasper are along the hallway. She fainted when she saw Carlisle."_

"_What? Is she okay?"_

"_Yeh it was just the shock of seeing Carlisle when she was least expecting it." He snorted._

"_Just! No, I think it may also be the fact that you ruined her life! She was your best friend!"_

"_Jacob you don't know how much we—I regret that. Edward still loves her so much." His eyes narrowed at the mention of Edward. "We all missed her so much."_

"_If Edward apparently still loves her, why did he leave? Why did he break her heart? He tore her apart Alice, I don't know if she will ever recover completely." How could I explain why Edward left when I didn't agree with the reason!_

"_He didn't think he was good enough for her."_

"_You mean she wasn't good enough for him."_

"_No! Never! Edward loves her. He always will. I tried to convince him to stay but he wouldn't have any of it. He said that Bella deserves better." He shook his head._

"_If he loved her he wouldn't have left."_

"_You don't understand! He left because he loves her!" _

"_Why are you telling me this? I don't want to know." I went and sat down in the chair by the bed._

"_I wanted to warn you." That surprised him._

"_Why? Warn me from what?"_

"_Edward loves Bella and she still loves him. Even you can see that. Bella wouldn't want to break your heart."_

"_So?"_

"_So I'm just saying, Edward will do anything to get her back. I don't want you to be left broken when she goes back to him. I'm warning you for Bella. She wouldn't want to leave you like Edward left her."_

"_If she goes back to him." _

"_What?"_

"_You said when Bella goes back to him; it should be IF she goes." He knew that she would. He knew! Why couldn't he just accept that, I didn't want to be the one to ruin his hopes._

"_She will Jacob. You know she will. You see it in her eyes. I'm so sorry Jacob. I have no idea how much that hearts to hear me say."_

"_She won't leave me!"_

"_She will. She would be happier with him so you'd let her go. You wouldn't stop her. You love her too much."_

"_Why are you telling me this? Do you like the fact that this hurts me?"_

"_No! I just wanted to warn you. So you could prepare for when she does leave. I couldn't bare someone else to be as hurt as Bella was due to my brother's stupidity."_

"_I can't let her go," he said hoarsely. "I won't. I won't give her back to that asshole who left her." _

"_You will though Jacob. You hate knowing she will always love someone else. You hate being second best. You know you won't be able to make her love you as much as she loved him. Despite all that you want to make her happy. You will do whatever in your power to make her happy. And that means letting her go. I'm sorry Jacob. You know you would. You just don't want to face it." His face grew angry throughout my little speech._

"_Get out of my room! NOW!"_

"_Jacob please! Believe me! Bella won't want to hurt you. She will forsake her own happiness for yours. It's Bella. That's what she does!"_

"_I said get out." I sank my head in defeat. _

"_I'm sorry Jacob." I got out of the seat and made by way to the door. I was about to leave the room when Jacob spoke again._

"_Does he really still love her?" I turned back to him, and looked him in the eye._

"_With all his heart," I whispered. I turned on my heel and left him in the room. Not once did I think this would happen._

**FLASHBACK END**

Looking back, what I said seems to be harsher and much much worse than I'd thought. Bella is going to kill me. I didn't mean for him to break up with her though! I couldn't do that to Bella. I just meant for to him to brace himself. Expect what was going to happen. To try and not show how much it hurt. I should have known it would have been impossible for a human. I can't even see anything. I'm way too stressed. I need to calm down, but I can't. Every single thought is on Bella and what would happen if she left again. My thoughts drifted back to the conversation with Jacob. Maybe if I'd told him that Edward wasn't here yet, he wouldn't have felt the need to break up with Bella instantly. But then he'd asked Bella. He knew he wasn't back yet, so why the hell did he fucking dump her! I could kill him. This is still his fault. Even though I had a lot to do with it, it was Jacob who broke up with her. He made that decision himself.

"I hope you're happy Alice." I was brought out of my daydream by Jasper's voice. He wasn't looking at me, but his voice was hard and cold.

"I'm sorry." My voice broke and I held my breath, willing myself not to cry, tearless sobs,

"Sorry doesn't help now."

"I know." As much as I tried to convince myself this wasn't my fault, deep down I knew it was. I could feel the venom in my eyes, wanting to fall but knowing I could never shed them. I shook silently as the car sped through the city towards the forest on the outskirts where our house was. Esme put her foot down and racing, we reached the house in a mere 15 minutes.

"Emmett, Rosalie please go put up the bed in Edward's room. Jasper**, carefully**, take Bella inside, Alice come with me." In a flash there was just Esme and I in the car. We made our way to the living room.

"What did you do Alice?" Esme was blunt and went straight to the point.

"I can't tell you Esme. I think Bella should be the first to hear what I did and why." She nodded curtly at me and left the room at vampire speed. I sank onto the sofa and sobbed silently. I curled up into a ball and rocked, just like Bella. Please stay Bella, please. She couldn't go, no! Calm down Alice, you need to see if she will stay or not. I couldn't though. I just kept on sobbing.

All of a sudden I felt calmer. Jasper. I stopped sobbing, I stopped shaking. I was able to stand and I walked, numbly up the stairs to join the others. I nodded at Jasper, the thanks in my eyes. He was standing next to Bella so he could calm her if needed. Esme sat next to Jasper while Emmett and Rosalie were at the window. When Jasper saw me there he abruptly stopped emitting his waves of calmness. I was left to my own feelings. Again. I went and sat in the corner, away from everyone. I scrunched my eyes shut and tried to absorb some of Jasper's calm sent to Bella. I couldn't though. I rubbed my fingers over my temples. Think Alice think. But I couldn't. Nothing would get past the black wall in my head. I clutched my knees to my chest and rocked again. I put my head in my arms.

"Can you see anything?" Esme's voice spoke out of the darkness.

"No," I whispered. I was shaking again. My breathing was ragged, just like Bella's was.

I don't know how long we stayed like that before Carlisle came through the door. Instead of going to his wife he came to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and my empty gaze met his worried one.

"I don't blame you Alice. I know you were just trying to help."

"Thank you." He smiled at me and I smiled back weakly. I went back to staring at the wall. He left me and went over to Esme. I looked round when I felt someone's eyes on me. Jasper. He looked like he was in turmoil, fighting inside his head. He looked pained. He continued to stare at me for a few moments then seemed to come to a decision. He came over to me silently. He knelt beside me and held out his arms. I crawled into them and he held me tight.

"I'm so sorry Jasper," I whispered. I was shaking and sobbing again. I thought he hated me. I was never going to let go.

"I know Alice, I know." He stroked my hair and I kept my arms wrapped around him, unwilling to let go. My sobs gradually quietened and I was able to relax inot Jasper's embrace.

About an hour and a half later, Bella's breathing changed. She started stirring and I was over by her side, having leapt out of Jasper's arms, in a blur. This was the second time today that I had watched her eyes flicker open weakly. Her gaze moved along us all and landed on mine. She sat up, her gaze cold. I repressed a shudder at her look.

"How could you Alice?" I felt everyone but Jasper leave the room. He squeazed my hand, giving me confidence.

"It's not what you think."

"Then what is it?"

"I went to talk to him so I could warn him. I knew you wouldn't want to break his heart. I thought he would be able to prepare himself so he wouldn't be hurt so bad."

"Why the hell would I break his heart?" I looked at Jasper and he nodded for me to continue.

"Edward." She flinched at his name.

"He isn't here."

"He's coming back. To get you. But he doesn't know you are here, he thinks you are still in Forks."

"He's coming back? To get _me?_" Her eyes widened in shock.

"Yes Bella. He loves you." She shook her head.

"No. No that's not possible! He doesn't love me. No! He doesn't want to get me back."

"He does."

"No he doesn't Alice! Why can't you see that?"

"I'm not going to answer that Bella."

"Go on then."

"I didn't know he would break up with you. I just wanted to help him. I knew you wouldn't want to break his heart so I tried to help him! I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I'm so sorry Bella."

"Alice, why does Jacob think that Edward loves me?" That question surprised me.

"I told him. Jacob could see in my eyes that I was telling the truth." She nodded silently and I didn't make any move to speak. Please say you will stay. Please, please, please. She spoke up eventually.

"Promise me you will never do anything like this again." Does that mean she is staying? It has to!

"I promise Bella. Whatever you want."

"Do I get off the two shopping trips I owe you for losing the game with Jasper?" I looked up at her and she was smirking.

"Sure Bella. I'll find another way to get you shopping." She jumped over the bed to me and hugged me fiercely. I started sobbing again and she stroked my hair. She was staying! I could still be with her! Everything would be alright again!

"Do you still love me Bella?"

"Of course I do Alice!"

"Thank you." She laughed and I smiled.

"Please believe me Bella." She knew immediately what I was talking about.

"No Alice, I can't. My heart can't be broken again." I nodded accepting the fact that I could do nothing to change that.

"Um, can I go sleep? I'm still tired." She blushed and looked down at the ground. I laughed at her.

"Sure Bella. I'll get someone to go fetch your clothes from the hotel and I'll get Esme to lend you some pyjamas for just now." Right on cue, Esme came through the door, holding some pyjamas.

"Here you are Bella. I'm so glad you're staying. I'll leave you to sleep. Jasper come on." They both left the room and I turned to leave to.

"Alice can you stay with me please?" My dead heart literally leapt out of my chest. I turned back towards with a stupid grin on my face.

"Sure!" I helped her get changed and she jumped into the bed. I climbed in next to her, making sure there was a blanket between us, to protect her from my icy touch. She yawned loudly.

"Alice, could you please ask Carlisle to phone Charlie? He will be able to calm Charlie down when he knows I'm staying here for a while."

"Doing it now Bella!" Carlisle called from up the stairs. Bella blushed again. I laughed at her.

"Sleep now Bella." Her eyes closed and soon her breathing was deep and steady.

Before long, she started whimpering in her sleep.

"Edward! Please! Don't go! I love you!" She started sobbing and grabbed onto me tightly for a human. I called quietly for Jasper and he was in the room in a second. He calmed her down till her breathing was steady again. Every now and then she would sigh Edward's name. He better be back soon. I didn't think she was going to last much longer without him whilst surrounded by the rest of us. I looked up at Jasper, standing by us.

"It looks like these dreams are going to be a nightly accurance." He nodded at me, frowning.

"I hope Edward gets here soon."

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**Hope it was okay! I wasnt too pleased with it, but I wanted to get something out, please review!**


	8. Empty

**Hey, my mum has FINALLY agreeed to read new moon. she read twilight and i have pestere her for months to read it. she read this story and decided she wanted to read new moon aswel now so score!!! lol  
**

**if anybody out there is reading this, please review, just to give me some confidence that people might be liking this story, please!!!! lol,,,**

**nope still dont own**

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BPOV

When I woke up I knew I was alone. I could no longer feel Alice's cold grip on me. I sat up slowly, taking in my surroundings. I didn't know whose room I was in. I'd have to ask Alice later. I blinked a couple of times and yawned. I could hear Alice's voice coming from the stairs.

"Charlie, I'm not waking her up. She's tired; she had a rough day yesterday. Phone back later." She sighed at whatever reply Charlie had said.

"Charlie, we're not going to keep repeating the fact that we're sorry for leaving."

"I know Charlie." I was the one to sigh now. I groaned and got out the bed. I went out the room and walked along the hallway to where Alice was sitting with the phone. She looked up when she saw me coming. I held out my hand for the phone. She looked at me and shook her head slightly.

"Alice, give me the phone. Please?" She sighed.

"Charlie, Bella's awake, here she is." She muttered to me as she passed me the phone.

"You asked for it Bella." I smiled at her and whispered thank you.

"Bella! Why the hell are you with those...those people again?"

"Char—Dad its fine. Carlisle is Jacob's doctor, and Esme asked me to stay for a little while. They all missed me."

"Bella they broke you're heart. I want you to stay away from them, especially him."

"Dad, he isn't even here. And I want to be here. Alice said they wouldn't leave again."

"Bella I don't want you with them." Now I was getting annoyed. I could stay with them if I wanted. I was 18, I was legally allowed. He couldn't control me anymore.

"Dad, I'm staying here. You can't stop me! I want to be here! I don't care that they left! I love them all and I AM going to stay here."

"Bella, I forbid you to stay with them. I will not have you like you were before."

"Fine, I guess I'll just have contact with Billy. I'm staying here. Bye Dad." I slammed the phone shut and screeched. Why was he being such a pig? I brought my arm up and with us much force I could muster, threw the phone across the room. Instead of hearing it smash, there was a slight thump and I looked up. Jasper had caught it.

"You know this phone cost quite a bit of money."

"Oh crap, sorry Jasper. I didn't mean, well I did but—" I yelled in frustration and made to punch the wall but Alice was up the stairs and she grabbed hold of my hand just before it hit the wall.

"You don't want to that Bella." I glared at her.

"I think I do."

"He was just trying to help Bella. He didn't mean anything. He has every right to ban you from seeing us."

"He has no right to do that."

"Bella, you didn't see what you were like back then. He just doesn't want you to be like that again." I groaned.

"I know, but it still doesn't give him the right to tell me I can't see you!"

"Calm down Bella. He'll be fine by tomorrow evening. Come on, come get something to eat. Esme's made you food. Emmett helped."

"Are you sure it's edible if Emmett helped?" I asked, dead serious. She laughed.

"Come on Bella." She pulled me down the stairs and I tripped on the last one.

"Ahh!" The floor came up to meet my face but I was grabbed, just before I hit the floor.

"Good to know you're still as clumsy!" Emmett laughed as he pulled me back to my feet. I blushed and looked away.

"And blushing too! Why we really have Bella back." I shoved him and he laughed when he didn't budge.

"Feisty as well now?" I glared at him and walked into the kitchen, banging my arm in the doorway in the process. I didn't make sound though I heard Emmett's laughter grow louder.

"Bella!" Esme came over and gave me a hug. "Morning, I made you some eggs, and bacon and I fried some stuff, and there's toast, and I have lots of fruit juice. What would you like?"

"Erm, some eggs please?"

"Sure!" I giggled and sat down at the table. Alice sat opposite me.

"So Bella, do you wanna go shopping today?"

"Um, I need to go see Jacob." She pouted.

"Alice I need to go see Jacob, I'll come another day."

"Really? I didn't think I would win so easily!" Damn it! I'm really out of practice with arguing with Alice. I sighed.

"Fine Alice. ONE trip, that's it!" She squealed loudly. I cringed away from the noise.

"Alice calm down," Jasper said from the side of the room. He smiled at me. "Morning Bells." I smiled back at him.

"Morning." I yawned again. "Alice did you get my clothes?"

"Yes, Rosalie went and picked them up. They're in your room." That reminded me.

"Whose room is that by the way?" She looked away.

"It's yours." Okay that confirmed it. It had to be his. If it was anyone else's she wouldn't look so guilty.

"Alice just tell me."

"It's Edward's," she said extremely quietly. Lovely. Just what I need.

"Why did you put me in there? You know he won't like it." Fuck that hurt. He used to love me staying over in his room. But he doesn't want me. No Bella, get those thought out of your head. Move on.

"It was the only free room." I nodded silently. I didn't like it but I could live. It was Edward's room after all; maybe he had some of his stuff still in it. No Bella, drop that idea. That's just plain stupid. I finished eating my breakfast and went back to my—Edward's room. I sat up on the bed and hugged my knees to my chest. I closed my eyes and drifted. I drifted away from here, from the Cullen's. Into the unknown where life wasn't painful, where it didn't hurt to walk through a house you love and never see the one you want. A house which reminded you of the past so much, it's as if you're stuck in time. People who would say harmless things, without realising it was tearing you apart inside to be so close, yet so far away.

"Bella? We're leaving now. To go to the hospital?" I opened my eyes. Alice was there. "Bella are you okay?" I nodded and jumped off the bed, grabbing my coat and walking downstairs. I didn't even fall. If I had, it would have distracted me from the sense of dread filling me.

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I walked up the steps of the hospital slowly. Alice had just dropped me off; she was going shopping on her own since I wouldn't come. The white pristine walls were uninviting and I almost turned back around. No, I had to see Jacob. All morning I had been gradually withdrawing myself from the Cullen's, making myself numb knowing that the news Carlisle told me about Jacob wouldn't be good. I knew by the way Carlisle and Alice had been looking at me—it was bad news, very bad news. But first I had to apologise for yesterday. I gingerly opened the door to his room.

"Bella, oh my God! I'm so sorry, please please forgive me. I don't know what got into me. I shouldn't have listened to Alice."

"Jacob its fine. I just completely over reacted. I'm the one who is sorry."

"I shouldn't have done it. Just ignore everything I said yesterday. I'm not letting you go without a fight."

"No Jacob you were right," I whispered. "We're not meant to be." What did I just say? No! Why the hell am I breaking up with him?

"You're waiting for him aren't you?"

"No of course not! Why would I be waiting for him?" Was I waiting for him? Was it possible that I believed Alice? No I definitely didn't believe Alice.

"You love him Bella. You hope that Alice is right." No I didn't, I couldn't. I wouldn't get my hopes up just to be left broken again. No one can change that.

"It's okay Bella. I understand. I'll be here for you." I laughed nervously.

"It should be me saying that to you." Jacob didn't reply as Carlisle walked into the room. He smiled encouragingly at me.

"Good afternoon Jacob." I checked my watch. It was very just afternoon. 12 o clock. Wow, major distraction technique. "I have your test results back." I started shaking.

"It's bad news isn't it?" I whispered.

"I'm afraid so. The test results show that you are HIV positive." When he said those words the walls around me collapsed. Jacob was part of me and I would die with him. "There are some treatments we can use to slow the process but you have developed the disease and the symptoms very quickly and I am unable to determine if these treatments would deter the outcome by a considerable amount."

"So I'm going to die?" Jacob asked bluntly. I covered my hands with my ears; I couldn't face the words being said, not yet. Carlisle left the room and I took my hands from my ears and just sat.

I didn't, couldn't say anything to Jacob. I felt empty and cold and god damned terrified. I wanted to be numb again. I didn't want to feel, I didn't want to have any more pain in my life. I wanted it all to just go away. I stood up.

"I'll phone Billy," I told him blankly. Without waiting for a reply I left the room. I walked to the end of the hallway and took out my phone, ignoring every 'NO MOBILES' sign.

"Hello Bella, how is he? Have you heard anything?"

"He's not so great. We've just been told he's HIV positive." I didn't want to say the words and I couldn't repeat them again, or I would just fall apart.

"Positive?" Billy sounded drained, as if all the life had been sucked out from him. He sounded how I felt.

"I'm so sorry Billy. Look,I have to go. I'll try phone with more information tomorrow. I'm so sorry. Bye." I hung up the phone and let the tears run. I walked up to Carlisle's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in Bella." I opened the door and walked in. Alice was there too.

"Oh I'm so sorry Bella." She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me. Her cold, normally comforting arms did nothing for me though. Only one person could save me now and he didn't want me.

"How long?" I asked hoarsely, looking at Carlisle.

"6 months at most." I nodded.

"Alice can you please take me home?" She smiled at me sympathetically. Too bad I didn't need sympathy, I needed Edward.

"Sure Bella."

We drove home in silence. Alice knew she could say or do nothing to help me. I said nothing to the other Cullen's in the house when we got back. I walked straight to my room, Edward's room. It was where I needed to be. I lay on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to slip into unconsciousness. I couldn't though. My mind was fizzing with too much. I sat up and looked around the room. There was a closet in the room, opposite the bed. Edward's closet. I got out of the bed slowly and walked over to the closet, arguing with myself the whole way. This was invading his privacy, I shouldn't do this. On the other hand Alice would have stopped me if I wasn't allowed in here. I reached out my hand and grabbed the handle and turned it quickly. I gasped when I saw inside it. It still smelt of him. All his clothes were still here. It was like he still lived here. Like he hadn't really left. There was a t-shirt bunched up on the floor. I knelt down and picked it up.

It was the one. The one he wore when he left me. I let out a sob and threw the thing across to the opposite wall. As I did so, something fell from it. It looked like a worn photo. I picked it up and turned it over. It was a picture of me. I dropped it like it had burned me.

I grabbed one of his other shirts and ran out the closet, slamming the door behind me. I collapsed on the bed sobbing, clutching his shirt to me. I took a deep breath, breathing in as much of his scent as I could. The memory it brought hurt as much as it healed.

"Bella please calm down." I rolled over to face Jasper, still holding the shirt.

"Where is he Jasper? Make him come back! Please, I need him." He sat down on the bed next to me and wiped away my tears.

"He'll be here soon Bella."

"But I need him now. I can't live through anything else. Please make him caome back, please," I sobbed. I was pathetic.

"Make me go to sleep Jasper. I don't want to feel anything anymore." As the wave's of calm filled the room my eyes drifted shut. I could be with Edward in my mind. I could make him want me. My hands subconsciously clutched his shirt harder as Jasper left the room.

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**hope you enjoyed, it's kinda short I know, action is coming. once Edward is here it all goes haywire!!**

**like i said at the top, please review so I know at least some people are enjoying!**


	9. Good NewsBad News

**Hello again! This chap is quite short because I wanted to do the next bit seperately. Hope you enjoy! Please review!!!!!**

**everything belongs to the lovely stephenie meyer. **

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APOV

"Make me go to sleep Jasper. I don't want to feel anything anymore."

When Bella said those words, pain ripped through me. There was nothing we could do. Only Edward could fix her. I was helpless.

"She has one of his shirts Alice." I nodded. She'd found one of the pictures of her that he'd kept. It was his only memory of her, pictures. He had all the ones he took from her room when we left. Maybe now she's seen the picture she will believe that he loves her? I shook my head, I was hoping for too much. This was Bella we were talking about. I closed my eyes and banged my head against the wall. Esme called out a warning and I stopped myself from repeating the action.

"Is there any way we can get him to come back sooner?" Jasper said. I'd heard Bella's pleading for him and I'd thought but I couldn't think of anything that would change. He needed to come back on his own, but would Bella survive much longer without him? I opened my eyes and saw Jasper inches from me.

"Maybe if you said you'd had a vision about Bella, and he needs to come back. He'd come here first and see Bella. Then we could explain and he'd be here for Bella." That wasn't a bad idea.

"Let me check if that would work." I closed my eyes again and searched, looking for anything. Then I had it. My eyes flew wide open.

"He'll be back the day after tomorrow if we phone in the morning. He'll answer for once. Let me talk to him and I'll be able to convince him." He would come back for Bella. Finally. And Bella would get better with him here. But there was something, something bothering me at the back of my mind. I didn't want to do this. I don't know what, but something bad was coming and I couldn't see what but it worried me.

"Jasper I'm not so sure we should do this. Something's going to happen, something bad. I can feel it." He hugged me close.

"It will be fine. I promise." I tucked my head into his shoulder and sighed. He lifted his hand to my face and brought his lips to mine. I sighed into the kiss, moaning as his tongue slipped inside my mouth.

"Jasper," I panted, "I have to go tell Carlisle now. Or I never will." He released me reluctantly. He pushed me to Carlisle's office.

"Be quick darlin." I smiled; he knew that calling me that turned me on. I sprinted up the stairs to Carlisle's office calling Esme on the way. We entered the room together and, almost bursting from the seams I told them the news.

"I can get Edward to come back by the day after tomorrow!" Esme literally screamed.

"HOW?!"

"Well, did you hear Bella?" My smile faltered for a bit, re-living her words. Esme's expression grew grave as she and Carlisle nodded.

"Well you know how she asked Jasper to make him come back, we thought of a way to do it and it will work." Esme's smile was so wide and even Carlisle broke into a grin.

"That's fantastic." All of a sudden, the feeling of dread was upon me again and Carlisle noticed my change in manor.

"What's wrong?" I hesitated. My feelings were just that, a feeling. There was no proof that anything would happen.

"Well, it's just that, no it doesn't mean anything. I'm just really worried that something's going to happen. I have no proof; I've just got this _feeling_." Esme came over and hugged me.

"Nothing else can go wrong with those two Alice. I'm sure it will be fine." I nodded, not convinced. I went out the room and ran straight down the stairs and into Jaspers arms, pushing him back against the wall. We got the satisfaction of hearing it crack, Esme shouting down from upstairs. I crashed my lips to his and he groaned into my mouth. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my hands moved to his hair, tugging on it gently. In a second we were in our bedroom and he laid me on the bed. I smirked at him.

"We have all night."

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"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A petrified scream pierced through the night. It was 4am. I rushed from where I was out of Jasper's arms and through on a dressing gown before sprinting up the room to Bella's room. Esme and Carlisle were already there. The rest followed in behind me.

"Bella what happened?"

"Everyone was there. They all died. Everyone I love." Esme was hugging her, stroking her hair.

"Shhhh Bella, it was just a dream." She sobbed into Esme who looked pointedly at Jasper.

"Give me a chance," he muttered. Bella gradually calmed and soon was almost asleep on Esme, her hands still clutching Edward's shirt and Esme's top. Esme prised Bella's hands off her and laid her down on the bed. I looked at Jasper who was shaking his head in anger, I'm guessing at whatever had scared Bella. He was so protective of her now.

"Jas, can you stay with her? Just to make sure she's okay."

"Of course Alice." He grabbed a chair from the corner and pulled it up to the bed. I kissed him on the forehead and squeezed his hand.

"Thank you." He nodded at me and we all left the room together and went to sit in the living room, waiting for the depression that would surely come with morning.

* * *

We all heard Bella wake up, we heard Jasper speak to her, but she didn't speak. Jasper brought her down, pain showing on his face, the strength of her feelings too powerful for him to repel. I rushed over to her.

"Bella talk to me, please." I held her face in my hands. She gazed at me blankly.

"Alice, one of my best friends is dying, the person I love doesn't want me, there is nothing to say." I looked at Carlisle and whispered, to low for her to hear.

"Can I tell her about Edward?" He nodded at me and I turned back to Bella who was now slumped on the sofa, staring at the blank T.V screen, her arms wrapped around her torso to hold herself together.

"Bella?" I asked quietly. She murmured something unintelligible, even for us in reply. "Bella, I have some good news." She didn't make a sound. "Edward's coming back. Tomorrow." She turned round, a look of pure joy on her face.

"Really?" I smiled and nodded at her. Then her face fell.

"B...but he'll get angry at you for having me here. He won't want me Alice, he won't." She got off the chair and flung herself into my arms, completely hysterical. The others kindly left the room unnoticed and I brought her round to sit on the sofa.

"Bella listen to me. You are here through no fault of your own, it was fate that brought us together and once he hears the circumstances surrounding you being here he will not be angry at anyone. And of course he loves you." At this statement she started shaking her head wildly.

"He couldn't love me. No one could."

"Bella Swan! Look at me!" She looked at me, sniffing. "We all love you here; even you have to say that." She nodded and looked down. I lifted her head back up to look at me. "Look me in the eyes Bella. Edward loves you. He always has and you have to trust me on this. Believe me Bella."

"Alice I want to believe you, but I can't. What if I get my hopes and end up having my heart broken again? I won't be able to live."

"Bella, he's coming back to get you. He will do anything in his power to get you back. You're his Bella. He loves you fully and I promise that if he ever does anything to hurt you again I will personally kick his ass." She giggled a bit at that which was what I'd been aiming for. "So, do you believe me?"

"I'll try Alice, I'll try. Just promise me I won't get my heart broken? You've seen what will happen. Promise me Alice."

"I can't see what's going to happen. I don't know why, but tomorrow is completely blank." She sighed and curled up into me.

"Okay." I stroked her hair thoughtfully.

"Bella, I have to go phone Edward now. I'll be back in a minute, do you want me to send someone else in to keep you company?"

"Yeh please. Can you ask Jasper please?"

"Sure Bella." I went out the room and Jasper went in, having overheard our conversation. I picked up the phone and went to a room where Bella wouldn't overhear. I rang his number, it was on speed dial. Like I'd predicted, he answered for once.

"Alice," he said curtly.

"Edward, I need you to come home tomorrow, please."

"Why?" He hadn't said no immediately which makes this a lot easier for me.

"I had a vision. About Bella. I need to tell you about it to your face."

"What? What happened? Did she die?" Of course he would think that first.

"No, she didn't die. I just need you to come home."

"What happened? Is she still in Forks? Is it something to do with Victoria?" I hesitated on the answer to the second question. Should I lie to him?

"Edward I will tell you tomorrow. Yes she's still in Forks and no it has nothing to do with Victoria. Just please, come home. Please." There was silence from the other end. 157 seconds later he replied.

"Fine. I'll be there tomorrow evening."

"Yeh at 5:16." He laughed without humour.

"God, it's going to be difficult living with you again."

"Bye Edward. Carlisle and Esme give their love."

"Thanks. Bye Alice." I hung up the phone and walked, for once at a normal pace, back through to Bella. I overheard the last of her and Jasper's conversation.

"Jasper, you're his brother, tell me truthfully, why did he leave me? If what Alice said is true, then I don't understand."

"He left to save you. What happened with James he realised was a threat within his own family, from me. You don't know how sorry I am. I ruined so many lives that day."

"Jasper don't, you know no one blames you. It's part of who you are."

"But Edward blamed himself. For not being careful enough. He thought you deserved better than a vampire. He couldn't put you in that much danger constantly. He left because he loved you too much to see you hurt over and over."

"He's going to be angry that I'm here isn't he?"

"Probably. Alice will unfortunately bear the brunt of his anger though. But once he realises why, everything will settle down again."

"But why Alice? Why will he be angry at her? I don't want him to be. She didn't even invite me to stay here." I stepped in at this point.

"Because I'm usually the chief instigator. And you're my best friend; it's too much of a coincidence." I went and joined them on the sofa. Bella was curled up, with her head leaning on Jasper's shoulder. I sat next to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Why does he have a picture of me Alice?" Bella asked quietly, after a minute. I'd been waiting for this question so I wasn't surprised.

"It's his only memory of you. He has a lot of photos. He always looks at them, always. It's the only way he can see you since he banned us from seeing you, therefore can't see you through our minds. Like I said before, he loves you Bella." Another couple of minutes passed before Bella spoke up again.

"Alice I don't want to go to the hospital today. It's too much after yesterday. Will someone be able to please phone Billy? I can't tell him when his son is going to die."

"Carlisle has it on his 'to do' list." She smiled weakly.

"Could we watch a film? A happy one?" I nodded and called to Rose and Emmett. Emmett brought a DVD with him; Confessions of a Shopaholic.

"Very manly choice there Emmett," Jasper said, making Bella giggle.

"Wow, Alice it's just like you! Maybe you can learn something," Bella remarked. I laughed and punched her lightly on the arm.

"Ow," she complained, rubbing her arm. "Breakable remember?"

"Won't be soon," I muttered to myself. I'd give it 9 months, tops before she'd be like us. Jasper nudged me, oops. I'd spoken louder than I'd thought. Luckily, Bella was absorbed in what Emmett was telling her about me. She was laughing again. It was a good idea not to go to the hospital. A day away from everything might make her feel better about everything, though Charlie would phone later tonight and she would go all silent Bella on us again. I didn't like not knowing how to fix this. Alice Cullen was never helpless. Hopefully with Edward, he could fill her again and bring her back to life. She needed him. Tomorrow evening couldn't come quick enough.

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**Well, guess who comes back in the next chapter?? Mr Edward Cullen, and Alice's bad feelings prove to be right!!!!!!!! review!!!!!!**

**i have a non fanfiction question, for my birthday I get to go to london to see a west end show, and i want to see either 'wicked' or 'les miserables', anyone got opinions on these to help me chose???**

**Review!!!!!!  
**


	10. It's All About to End

**Hey again, thanks to all who have reviewed so far, especially AliceCullenFreak, your reviews make me smile, enjoy and review!!**

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BPOV

Wow. I swear that Alice was in that film, it had to be! It had helped though. I was much more animated now, though the depression was digging at the outside of my head. I ignored it for now, I had too. Me being half dead hurt others as well. My stomach growled and I laughed. I looked at my watch. It was 2:30.

"Alice, I'm going to go get some food okay?" She nodded and I went into the kitchen. Esme was there already making me a sandwich.

"You don't have to do that Esme." She looked up at me and smiled.

"I want to Bella. It's the least I can do." I sat down on a chair and watched as she prepared my meal.

"Does that not smell really bad to you?"

"It's bearable."

"What about me being here? I don't want to be a bother—my scent has to be hurting you all."

"Bella, we are all so glad that you are here that we don't mind the smell. And anyway, we're all used to it. Your smell is immune to us. Well not immune, but it doesn't have any pull over us anymore."

"Are you sure?" I asked sceptically. Edward had never gotten used to my scent. Esme realised my line of thinking and answered accordingly.

"Bella, Edward just couldn't let go, he wouldn't let himself let go of the blood lust. He was scared of losing that. If that was gone, he would have no excuse left if he hurt you." I nodded.

"Everyone's been saying about how much he loves me blah, blah, blah, how he left to because he loved me, blah, blah, blah, but him leaving hurt me. He should have known how much it would hurt me, yet he left anyway."

"Bella, my son has a one track mind. He's like you. He did not see any qualities within himself that would explain why you loved him, so he forced himself to believe that you weren't in love with him so much. I can't explain it myself. I'm just sorry that the two of you got hurt so much because of his choices." I smiled slightly.

"Thanks Esme."

"You're welcome Bella. Here." She put my sandwich and a glass of orange juice down in front of you. "Enjoy." She laughed and shook her head. "I can't see it's very appealing myself."

"You can leave if you want? Don't feel you have to sit next to me."

"Bella I like sitting with you. Haven't you noticed, you have a very calming effect on us. Look at how much you changed Jasper!"

"I didn't change him, he changed himself."

"But you helped dear. Stop thinking that you aren't an amazing person."

"How can I think I'm amazing when I'm surrounded by the most beautiful, kind, good hearted, completely self-sacrificing creatures?"

"Bella, you are just as good as we are, never doubt that. You've changed all of us for the better." I didn't answer, knowing that I wasn't going to win this argument. I still disagreed strongly with her. With such good sight, you would expect they all would see a clearer picture.

I sat thinking about Edward's return tomorrow. Despite Alice, Jasper and Esme's assurances that he loved me, I was still doubtful. I would need to make him see that I was good enough for him. I needed Alice.

Right on cue, a scream could be heard from the living room. A cannonball came running through, jumping up and down.

"THANK YOU BELLA! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper came through to see what Alice was so excited about.

"Alice please, don't say anything. Please?" I pleaded with her. I can't believe I was asking her to do this. It wouldn't make him love me, I was deluded.

"Bella," Jasper warned. Stupid empath. I sighed.

"Bella, can Rosalie help." I nodded blindly, my eyes drooping. Maybe I shouldn't do this, it wouldn't help.

"Bella, we'll leave now." Okay, I guess I wasn't getting out of this now then.

"Um, Alice? I'm still in my pyjamas. Can I go get changed first?"

"What's actually going on?" Emmett asked.

"Bella's letting me take her shopping. Rosalie you're coming too. We need to leave now before she changes her mind. Quick! Bella get upstairs! NOW!" I hurriedly got up and went upstairs.

"Geez, you'd think someone was dying." I heard Emmett burst into laughter downstairs.

"Bella! Stop daydreaming!"

"Yes sir!" I yelled. I chucked on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. If Alice was going to drag me round these shops then I was wearing something embarrassing for her. I smiled grimily. I pulled on my trainers and grabbed my coat before running down the stairs.

"Finally!" You'd think I'd been gone for hours. She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out the house.

"Good luck Bella!" I heard Jasper call from the house. She went and got her Porsche.

"No Alice, please say we can take another car."

"Nope, I haven't driven this for years." She hadn't even had it for years. "Bella just get in." I huffed and climbed in reluctantly. So much for going unnoticed.

"Alice, please can you go easy on me? You know what I want; can you just let me get that? Please?" She looked at me with pity and sighed.

"Fine Bella."

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked. It was then I remembered that only Alice knew what I wanted. Alice looked at me, as if to say 'can I tell her?' I nodded, she would find out anyway.

"Bella wants to get something to wear for Edward. When we left, she chucked out every shirt he ever said he liked."

"Okay so we want something in dark blue then?" Alice nodded.

"I already know where we're going and what we're going to get so we'll just go there first." Wow, I didn't think Alice was actually going to do that. It seems Rosalie thought the same thing.

"You sure you'll be able to go into just one shop?"

"Who said anything about one shop?" Well maybe I was wrong. "We need to get Bella other clothes as well, not just for tomorrow. And she needs underwear."

"No way Alice! I'm not buying underwear with you! I don't even need it! Mine is perfectly fine!" But like Alice, she wouldn't back down. Suddenly the car screeched to a halt.

"We're here _already?_" I asked incredulously. She looked at me like I had two heads.

"Obviously Bella." And so the torture began.

Alice headed straight to topshop where she led straight to the far side. And there on the wall I saw it. It was a short sleeved, silky dark blue shirt. It was perfect.

"Wow Alice, it's gorgeous. I have to get it."

"I know," she said smugly. I took one in my size and went to the changing rooms. I put it on and stared in shock in the mirror. For once I actually looked good. The top was low cut enough to look sexy but without being revealing and the silk clung to my figure, showing off what curves I had. It was perfect. I walked out to show Alice and Rosalie.

Rosalie whistled when she saw me.

"Wow Bella, you look stunning!" I smiled.

"Thanks."

"Edward will be amazed." I giggled.

"Where's Alice?" As I asked the question she walked into the changing rooms.

"Wow, that's gorgeous. It looks even better than it did in my vision." I laughed again. "Right, here are the jeans you're going to wear with it and shoes, now go try on the whole outfit." The jeans were dark grey skinny fitting. Luckily the shoes were flat. They were blue and sparkly. Very Alice. I walked out again and they both clapped when they saw me.

"You look amazing Bella. We have to buy that!"

"I agree. Are you not trying anything on?"

"Nope, today is about you."

"Alice, please?"

"Maybe later Bella but come on. Now you've got that for tomorrow we can get more clothes."

And so it went on. They would hand me a pile of clothes, I would try them on, they would criticise and praise, when I was changing back they would take the clothes and buy them for me, despite my protests. That was until the last shop.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," I said pulling my arm from Alice's and walking to the other side. "I am not going in there. No!"

"Bella, be reasonable. How about if we try on some things to?" I hesitated then. If they were trying on things would it be so bad?

"Fine." And we walked into Victoria's Secret. Oh God, oh god, help. I was blushing whenever I looked up while in front of me, Alice and Rosalie were pulling items from the shelf everywhere. I looked back at the floor and trudged behind them.

"Here Bella." Alice threw a huge pile at me while she and Rosalie stood there with just two things.

"How come I have 10 times more than you guys?" I complained. Alice sighed exasperated.

"Because we don't need as much as you."

"But I don't need any of this." Alice and Rosalie exchanged a knowing glance.

"Oh you will Bella." What the hell was that supposed to mean? I flung myself into a cubicle and looked through the stuff. Okay half of it wasn't that bad but the rest of it, well let's just say it was more Rosalie than me. I flung that pile over into Alice's cubicle.

"No way am I even trying on any of that."

"Spoilsport," I heard her mutter. I laughed and quickly got on with trying the underwear on. Some of it I liked , like this white lacy set, while others were hideous on. After being scrutinised from Alice and Rosalie, they sneaked off to buy my things while I got changed. I went out and they passed me some of my hundreds of bags that I seemed to have collected. Alice looked at her watch.

"We better get back. We have a phone call soon." We walked back to the car, me struggling under the weight of them all and filled up the boot of the giant Porsche. A small crowd had gathered round and were ogling it.

"Geez, it's just a car," muttered Alice.

"Alice you only say that because you are used to big fancy cars. The rest of us aren't so lucky." She looked at me sceptically before pushing past everyone to get in. Another five minutes and we were home.

"Wow, so you survived?" Emmett asked.

"Define survive," I murmured. I was exhausted and about to collapse.

"Alice, look at her, you've run her down!"

"Yeh but you should see the outfit we bought her for Edward." The room went silent.

"Thanks Alice." I picked up my bags and went up to my room, putting them down in the corner, then went and sat on the bed. As I was expecting Alice was upstairs within a minute.

"Bella, I am so sorry. It just slipped out. I was so excited and everything. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine Alice, they would have found out anyway." She smiled at me.

"Would you like some food? Esme made macaroni while we were out."

"Yeh that would be nice." I walked down the stairs with Alice and into the kitchen where Esme put a bowl down in front of me.

"Thank you." Esme was an amazing cook for not actually eating anything.

"You're welcome Bella." As soon as I had finished my meal, the phone rang. This must be the call they were expecting.

"Hello, Cullen household, how can I help you?" Esme said as she picked up the phone. "Sure, I'll just get her. Bella it's for you." I took the phone from her hand and went out into the hallway.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, it's me." Charlie, lovely.

"Dad, if you've phoned to give me a lecture I don't want to hear it. I'm staying here."

"I phoned to tell you sorry. About ranting at you and about Jacob. Billy told me. I'm so sorry Bella. We're coming down in a couple of months to say goodbye. How are you coping?"

"Okay I suppose. Alice has been amazing. She keeps distracting me so it's not on my mind all the time."

"That's good. I'm glad you're with them. They're the only people who could make you smile at a time like this, I know that now. I'm sorry."

"That's okay." There was an awkward silence before Charlie coughed gruffly.

"Well I better go. I'm going round to La Push. See you Bella."

"Bye Dad." I hung up the phone. They were coming down in a few months. To say goodbye. Jacob was actually going to die. Finally, I actually admitted it to myself. Jacob was going to die and here I was panicking about what I was going to wear. The guilt shot through me like an arrow.

"Bella, why are you feeling so guilty?" I jumped and turned round at Jasper's voice.

"Because Jacob is dying and I'm having too much fun!"

"Bella, Jacob wouldn't want you to be worrying about his death." I flinched at the word. "He would want you to try and be happy and get on with your life. You know he would." I nodded in defeat.

"I still feel guilty though."

"That's normal Bells. Everyone feels like that sometimes." I nodded again and sighed. Alice came through and joined us in the hallway.

"Bella, do you want to go to work with Carlisle in the morning, then I have all afternoon to play Bella Barbie?" I nodded, knowing she would get her way somehow. She smiled at me wildly.

"Thank you Bella!" I laughed at her. Thanks to Jasper's talk I felt much better now. Maybe it was okay to smile sometimes too. I saw Alice's expression falter.

"Alice what's wrong?"

"I don't know! Something is going to happen tomorrow and I can't see what!" Something bad to do with me and Edward? It will be. I have awful luck. He's going to kick me out, I know he will. He'll be angry with them. He won't want me. I was always right. Alice spotted my look.

"Bella, I'm sure everything will be fine," she said unconvincingly.

"I'm going to go read." I went back up to the room and took out Wuthering heights. I'd read his book far too often, I really needed to get a better copy. I was able to skim read most of it so by the time I was ready to sleep, I was halfway through the book. I changed in a pair of short pyjamas that Alice had forced me to buy today. I went downstairs and poked my head into the living room.

"I'm going to bed. The human is tired." They all nodded and smiled.

"Do you need any one to come up with you?" I blushed crimson. I was like a pathetic little baby.

"Um no I'll be fine." I walked off quickly and collapsed onto my bed and promptly fell asleep, exhausted after my day.

Once again I woke up screaming. My voice was getting hoarse from this nightly occurrence. Jasper was there to calm be down again and I fell asleep clutching him, his cold skin reminding me of the comfort I found in Edward's arms.

When I woke up, I was still leaning on Jasper. I blushed.

"Oh god, sorry Jasper. You didn't need to stay with me." I looked down at the ground.

"Bella it's fine. You're very amusing in your sleep." Okay that's embarrassing. DO I even want to know what I said?

"What did I say?" I groaned.

"You said I felt like Edward. And that Alice is always too hyper." My blush deepened.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise, I found it rather funny. Anyway Carlisle's going to leave in half an hour so you better get ready quickly." He left the room and I ran around the room, not caring what I put on. I went out the stairs quickly and saw that Esme had some cereal ready for me. I ate it quickly and went through to the living room, where I guessed the rest of the Cullen family were. Alice's frown was deep when I entered the room but she smiled as soon as she noticed I was in the room. The smile didn't reach her eyes though.

"Sorry Carlisle if I've kept you late."

"Not at all Bella." He got up and walked over to me.

"Bella, I'll pick you up at 12, then you can have had your lunch and showered by 1, then we have 4 hours to get you ready," Alice told me. 4 hours? Was I supposed to be alive after that?

"You have it planned?" She looked at me as if to say duh!

"Anyway, Bella we better get it on."

"Oh sorry." Carlisle smiled at me and put a hand on my back as he led me to the garage. We would be taking his Mercedes. At least it wasn't as noticeable as the Porsche. Just.

"So Bella, I'd like to go over some treatments we can give Jacob. Most of these treatments will cause nausea, vomiting, a loss of appetite, headaches and depression. For almost all, he will need to get tested for hepatitis B which we will do today. Hopefully if the lab results come back today we will be able to get him started on either Retrovir or Atripla. In Jacob's case we may be able to use both. Does this sound okay to you? As you are Jacob's only guardian as sorts here it is you who we will need to ask for any major decisions. Including giving him these drugs as the side effects can be quite serious in some cases. How does this sound to you?" I didn't understand any of it, expect I was responsible for the decisions concerning Jacob and the drugs are harmful.

"Um, it sounds okay?" It came out sounding like a question. He laughed at me.

"its okay that was a bit overwhelming. I'll give you my advice from a medical point of view, I hope you'll agree with it, then it's much much easier." I nodded in reply this time. By this time however we had reached the hospital.

"Wow, you drive almost as fast as Alice." He laughed at me again.

"Come on, let's go see your friend."

Once again I found myself walking through one of the most depressing places I had been to. When we got to Jacob's room Carlisle had to go.

"I'll give you 5 minutes to talk. I need to fetch my things." I walked into his room and Jacob sat up properly when I entered.

"Bella, you weren't here yesterday."

"I'm sorry. I just needed a break from all this, what with the news and everything. How are you?"

"I'm doing better. I've kinda accepted that it's going to happen. I'm trying to look on the bright side of things."

"That's good. Listen I'm getting picked up at 12. Edward's coming back today." I looked down at the ground, feeling guilty.

"Bella, it's okay. Much as it hurts, you deserve to be happy and he makes you happy."

"I'm sorry Jacob."

"Bella, it's fine." Carlisle walked through the door then.

"Good morning Jacob. How are you today?"

"I'm feeling a bit better."

"Pain scale?"

"Um about 4."

"I just need to draw some more blood, we need to do some tests to see what treatment to give you. Hopefully it will all be fine." I just heard the word blood before I froze. I clutched the sides of my seat. I watched as the Carlisle slowly pushed the large needle into Jacob's vein. I felt sick to the skin. I inhaled and the smell of the blood reached me. I was feeling sicker and sicker and the room was starting to spin.

"Um...C..Carlisle?" I managed before the sickness grew. He looked round worried. He took one look at me and pressed the call button. A nurse immediately came into the room and Carlisle nodded at me.

"Um, would you like to come with me? We can go get a glass of water." She grasped my arm and I leant most of my weight on her before walking shakily out the room.

"Not a fan of blood?" she asked as she sat me down on a chair. I shook my head and put my head between my knees taking deep breaths until the nausea a passed.

"Here." I looked up and the nurse held out a glass of water. I gulped it down and sat back.

"Thank you," I said weakly.

"My pleasure dearie. You stay here until you feel better." A few minutes later Carlisle came and stood in front of me.

"Sorry Bella I should have warned you. Are you feeling any better?"

"A little."

"Well you can go back to Jacob now. I've made sure it doesn't smell any more."

"Thanks."

It was almost 5 hours later and I had been primped to within an inch of my life. I had to say I looked kind of good. For a human anyway. Alice and Rosalie admired me before we all went down to group in the living room to wait nervously for his arrival.

EPOV

I'd just got off the phone to Alice and let's just say I was worried. What had happened to Bella that was so important that she needed me back? Something had to have happened to her. First though I needed to phone the airlines and book a flight. After talking to an obnoxious woman on the phone, my flight was booked. Now I just needed to look vaguely presentable. I'm not sure why I wanted to look good, I just had a feeling that it would be better. I sneaked into someone's empty house and showered as fast as possible. I then went and bought some decent clothes and left for the airport. I had all night to wait but I had nowhere else to go. I might as well wait there.

My mind had blanked itself and before I knew it I was on the flight and halfway to Seattle. I shook my head. I had completely lost it. I looked around me, luckily I was in first class and therefore I had no one around me. I kindly declined the offer of a drink from a hostess who looked like she was offering far more and prepared myself to watch some crap film. I didn't even know what it was. When it finished, luckily I was saved from another as Michigan City was nearing and we were ordered to put on our seatbelts. I don't know why the sudden change of emotion within me, but I felt that something good was coming. I was looking forward to living in the human world again. The plane touched down and I was off out the door and running to their new house. Then I caught the smell. I could never forget it. It was Bella. I growled and started running faster. What had they done? I reached the house and opened the door, the smell growing stronger as I made it through the house and into the living room. The sight stopped me in my tracks. I was right. Bella was here. And she looked better than I remembered. She looked like an angel, like someone from my dreams. She was wearing a tight dark blue silk shirt. My favourite colour. I stared at her in shock. My head was rushing with emotions. Love; lust; nervousness; love again; and finally anger. Anger at Alice who had brought her here. Anger at my whole family for endangering her again. Without thinking I turned and growled at Alice.

"Why the hell is Bella here?" I heard Bella gasp, stifle a sob and I turned back to her but she had already left ran from the room. Then I heard a low snarl from Jasper, and Alice glared at me before launching herself across the room towards me. No one tried to stop her. She crashed into and stared hitting every inch of me.

"You BASTARD! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH SHE WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU? AND YOU WENT AND BROKE HER HEART AGAIN! EDWARD CULLEN YOU ARE THE MOST INSENSITOVE COW I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO MEET! I HATE YOU!" That stumped me.

"Alice why is she even here?"

"Jacob is in hospital. He was transferred here." She stopped hitting me and ran back to Jasper who wrapped his arms around her.

"Edward you better fix this mess. You have no idea how much she wanted you. She even asked Alice to go shopping for something nice to wear for today. For you." Jasper than through every memory he had of Bella talking about me. I was stunned.

"Fuck I'm so sorry. I need to go find her."

"We're coming with you. I don't trust you," snarled Alice. Just then we need a cry of pain from somewhere outside. Bella. Before anyone could stop me I was running. The others following but I was only concentrating on one thing. I had to get to my Bella. My angel.

BPOV

He came through the door and stared at me in shock. I saw a rush of emotions go through him, was that _lust? _Then he finally turned to Alice and growled at her.

"Why the hell is Bella here?" I couldn't help it. I gasped and tried to stifle a sob. But it was too late. I was right. He didn't want me, no one could. I had to get away and so I turned and ran. I ran into the forest outside their house and kept on running. Running and running, away from my source of pain. Then I tripped. I heard a crack and I screamed in pain. I couldn't get up. It was too sore. The tears leaked out, for the pain in my wrist and for the pain in my broken heart. I sobbed and sobbed as the rain poured down on me, soaking me. Then someone's arms were on me.

"Bella, Bella, I'm so so sorry. I love you. Bella please be okay." Edward wrapped his arms around me and picked me up. I think I saw the other Cullen's there as well. "Carlisle I think she's broken her wrist."

"Let's get her back to the house." Then he was running. I buried my face in his chest, knowing this would be my last chance at being close to him.

"Bella my love, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, please. I love you so much, so so much. Please forgive me my love." But the roaring pain in my wrist was keeping from answering. I could tell we were almost at the house now, they were beginning to slow. Then I heard Alice shout from behind.

"NOOOOO!" Edward stopped suddenly and out me behind him, growling protectively. The rest of the Cullens surrounded me protectively. It was just like my dream. There was loads of them, newborn vampires and Laurent, the one who was supposed to be on our side. But there in the middle, standing in the middle of the house was the greatest fear of all. It was Victoria. She was back.

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**thank you for reading!! Nice long chapter for you! I'm going to Inverness for a week in a couple of days so I am so so so sorry if I dont manage another update before I leave. I'll be away for a week and I'll be camping with no access to the internet. sorry!!! please review!!!!!**


	11. The Fight

**Wow, I guess I'll get another chapter out before I go! I've been typing ALLLLLL day. Please enjoy! **

**Thanks to all who reviewed! You give me confidence.  
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**The work of twilight is all stephenie meyer, I own nothing :( Please Review!**

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BPOV

_It was Victoria. She was back._

All the Cullen's were around me, growling protectively. Edward's arms were still clutching me as he shielded me from them. He was still growling and I felt someone touch me from behind, Alice. She meant it to be comforting but nothing could comfort me now. This was too much like my dream. I could hear the newborns struggling to keep from attacking me. Victoria was stopping them from going though. They were snarling and snapping their teeth together, waiting for the command. I was frozen to the spot.

"They won't back down, we're going to have to fight them," Edward said. Jasper took charge then, realising that Edward was in no state to give orders. He was shaking with fury.

I'd forgotten that Jasper used to work in the army. He would help us win, we had to win. I couldn't have more deaths on my conscience.

"Edward you go for Victoria, I'll get Laurent, Esme and Rosalie stay and protect Bella. Everyone else just kill as many as you can." He said this all at an inhuman speed so I could barely catch what he was saying.

Victoria started stalking towards us.

"Give us the girl and we'll leave you all alone." That's what she said in my dream, my dream where they all died.

"Never," snarled Edward.

"Edward do what she says," I whispered. I couldn't let them get hurt because of me again.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. We are not going to give you to her. If she wants you, she'll have to get through us." He turned back to me and raised his hand to my cheek. "We will save you always, my angel." Then he pulled me towards him and kissed me, his lips finding mine and kissing me as if it was the last time he would see me again. He let me go and looked in my eyes, inches from me. He inhaled deeply and brushed his nose along my jaw and down my neck.

"I will keep you safe, Bella my love." And then with a roar he turned and sprang at Victoria. I didn't have time to process what just happened. The newborns were upon us. She'd given the silent command to fight.

Jasper, the best fighter, was on Laurent, the betrayer, in less than a second while Emmett ripped through the army of newborns with his strength. They matched him with their strength though and you could see he was struggling when he couldn't use his strength as an advantage. Alice was slipping through the pack of vampires so fast you could barely see her. Every now and then you would hear a cry as she pulled them apart. Her visions helped her and she was able to get the better of many of them. Esme and Rosalie were stuck next to me. When a newborn made it past the others, it would come screaming towards me in a frenzy. They would rip it apart, never letting one get to me. Every time Esme had to fight one I half stepped forward to stop her, seeing her fragile figure ripping them apart when I couldn't do anything was torture.

I started walking backwards, desperate to get away from the mess in front of me. I was shivering with cold, which I hadn't noticed until now. I backed into a tree and stood there, watching the scene in front of me unfold. I looked around and there coming straight for me was one of the newborns. He was my age, with dark hair and bright red eyes. He looked at me without compassion, snarling as he flew towards me, baring his sharp teeth, coated with venom. Both Esme and Rosalie were occupied. They couldn't help me. Was I was going to die? Yes I was. It would rip me apart. I screamed loudly hoping that someone could save me. I couldn't die now, not with everything going on.

"NO! BELLA!" I heard Edward shout. It was still coming for me, any second now I would be ripped apart. But it didn't get to me. Carlisle flew past me smashing the monster away from me, the speed knocking me back against the tree and taking my breath away. Carlisle was terrifying. The look on his face when he was charging towards the monster was unbearable. He looked like a different person. They all did. They were all prepared to die to save the weakest link. Me.

I looked back towards the fight, my eyes desperate to find Edward, to make sure he was okay. I saw the flash of red hair and focused in on it. You couldn't tell who was winning. I just hoped it was Edward. He couldn't die, he just couldn't. I heard a crash, as Emmett threw someone across the clearing and I jumped at the noise. I knocked my arm against the tree in the process and whimpered. The sound distracted Edward. I could see him look round, to check I was okay, his eyes black with anger, and I saw Victoria get ready to pounce on him and tear him apart while he was looking at me. Edward was going to die.

At what felt like vampire speed, my brain managed to take in the fact that everyone was busy, no one could help him. Only I could. So without thinking I ran towards him, screaming his name, a warning to him. He turned back around but by that time Victoria was gone. She had seen her chance and in a flash, was in front of me. My eyes widened with fear as she grabbed me by the neck. I tried to cry out but I couldn't take a breath. She flung me across the clearing. I could hear the air whizzing past me as I flew through the air. I smashed through the glass doors of the Cullen house, crying out as the glass stabbed into me, and crashed into the wall on the other side, my head getting swung backwards by the momentum. I fell to the floor, in a heap. The room was dancing with stars and as I smelt my own blood I gradually fell into oblivion. The last thing I remember was a cry of rage and something orange flew across my vision.

EPOV

I heard her whimper and without thinking my head automatically turned to her to check if she was okay. My Bella was all that mattered. I saw her eyes widen with realization and then she was running towards me.

"Edward! EDWARD!" She was crying my name and I turned back to Victoria, what I thought Bella was warning me about. But she wasn't there. I spun round to face Bella again, faster than I thought was possible.

_Say goodbye Edward, _Victoria called out through her mind.

I saw her grab Bella and she threw her. Everyone stopped to watch as Bella flew through the air. It was like slow motion. Nobody could help. They were all frozen to the spot, like me. Bella cried out as she smashed through the glass windows. She went into the wall, her head snapping back. Victoria's smile was triumphant when Bella didn't get up from the floor where she fell. I roared with rage and ran to Victoria, ripping her head off before tearing the rest of her apart. I ran to Bella.

"Bella! Bella! Please say something." As I got nearer I began to smell her blood, but my throat didn't burn. I was worrying about other things. I knelt down beside her broken body. Jasper and Carlisle came running and bent down next to me. I snarled at Jasper and turned towards him, blocking him from seeing her. Carlisle turned to me and growled.

_Things have changed Edward. Let him see her._

Reluctantly I moved aside and Jasper bent down next to Bella and took her hand. My eyes narrowed and I almost growled again. That was my job. I listened to Jasper's mind to check that it was all okay. To my surprise he was fine, he wasn't even tempted by the blood, he was just worried. I turned my attention back to Bella.

"Bella? Bella can you hear me?" She didn't answer and her eyes didn't flicker. She gave no sign of life.

"Carlisle what do we do?" I asked panicking. Was she dead? No! She couldn't be dead. Bella couldn't die!

"Edward calm down and listen. Her heart is still beating." I listened and sure enough, the slow beating of heart was pounding from her chest. My knees almost gave way with my relief. She was alive.

"Edward, pick her up, VERY carefully and take her to my lab. I need to see what's wrong with her, to see how bad it is." I took her in my arms and I could feel the blood seeping onto my clothes. Alice joined us as we went up the staircase at top speed. My other siblings and my mother's thoughts were apologetic. They couldn't stay with the blood, it was too much. Yet Jasper was still here. Despite the amount of blood, he was still with us.

I laid Bella down on the table top and Carlisle began to look over her.

"Alice you need to take her clothes off, I need to see where all the blood is coming from." Jasper kindly left the room and Alice stripped her, ripping off her shirt and jeans. I clutched the shirt to me and inhaled deeply. The scent of her blood calmed me and I was able to concentrate again. Carlisle turned her over and I gasped. All over her back there were small pieces of glass, embedded in her skin.

"Alice I need you to stem the bleeding on her head, she's losing too much blood. Edward get her attached to an IV then help me take all this glass out." I went over to his supplies, and grabbed the IV stuff. I couldn remember what they called it. My mind was blank, all my thoughts of Bella.

I connected it together and stabbed the needle into Bella's vein. Alice had just about managed to stop the bleeding. She was holding her breath.

"Alice, it's okay, you can go if you want." She glared at me, not even bothering to answer. I bowed my head.

_Edward, ignore Alice for just now. I need your help._

It took us hours to take all the pieces of glass out, or so it seemed but Bella still wasn't stirring. Carlisle bandaged up the worst cuts on her back before turning her round. We knew she had broken her wrist when she fell but he needed to check everywhere else. He poked each of her ribs and a couple of times Bella winced in her sleep. She'd broken them. He needed to give her a CT scan to check if she had a fractured skull. I was almost positive she had, we had all heard a crack when she smashed her head against the wall.

_Alice has managed to stop the bleeding so it looks like it will just be a simple fracture. I think she will be fine Edward. _

Thank goodness. I sank down onto a chair while Carlisle scanned her and took a deep breath. She would be fine. Alice left the room to get Bella some clothes for her.

_She has got a fractured skull Edward, but it will heal fine. It's not serious. The cut on her head is also going to be fine. Now the bleeding has stopped we should be able to take the IV out. _

He was rushing around Bella, bandaging up her ribs and her wrist and her head. By the time he was done, Alice was back and she dressed Bella again while I went downstairs to tell everyone the diagnosis.

Esme stood up as I came into the room.

"How is she?"Jasper asked quickly.

"She has a broken wrist from where she fell in the woods. She has a couple of broken ribs; she fractured her skull and a lot of cuts and bruises. But she's going to be fine." Esme sank back down onto the chair again and everyone else sighed in relief.

_Thank goodness she's okay. How are you doing Edward? _That was Esme.

_Victoria didn't get what she deserved. She should have been made to go through pain before dying. _Emmett.

_Edward I'm so glad she's okay. Can I come see her? _Jasper. I nodded at him.

_Edward you better not muck this up. She's been through enough. _I was suprised to hear such compassionate thoughts coming from Rosalie. Just then I caught sight of the fire outside.

"Are you sure you got everything?" I asked, just to make sure. Emmett nodded grimly. I couldn't think of anything to say so I left the room again, going back up to Bella. Jasper came with me.

"Sorry," I told him. I should have trusted him. He nodded in reply.

_Edward I could do nothing to hurt her. _

"I know that now." And it was true. Alice was sitting next to Bella when we went into the room. She glared at me before hugging Jasper.

_You broke her heart again Edward. I didn't even think you were capable of that. You're despicable._

"Alice I didn't mean to. I got a shock okay?"

_It doesn't justify what you said._

"I know. I just hope she forgives me."

_You don't deserve her forgiveness._

"I know." She ignored me from then on. We just sat in silence, waiting for Bella to wake up. 2 hours 34 minutes and 17 seconds later she groaned and woke up. She tried to sit up but kept wincing. I held her back upright and slipped a couple of cushions behind her to hold her up.

"What happened? Why do I have bandages everywhere?" I looked at Carlisle who nodded for me to tell her.

"Victoria. She threw you through a window and you broke a couple of ribs and cut your head, fractured your skull. Your wrist is broken from when you fell over in the forest." She seemed to be remembering as I told her.

"Is anybody hurt?" she asked suddenly, looking worried.

"No Bella, we're all fine." She looked around her and then turned back to me, realization dawning from some epiphany on her face.

"You kissed me!" Well that was very Bella. I leant closer to her and stroked her cheek.

"Of course I did my love. You are everything to me." She looked confused.

"But you didn't want me. You didn't want me here. You were angry at Alice." Hurt spread across her face and tears welled up in her eyes. I heard rather saw the others leave the room. I could only look at Bella.

"Bella I was angry at Alice for putting you in danger again. I have always wanted you. I lied that day, Bella please forgive me. I love you, my angel."

"No, that's wrong. You said you could get distractions. I thought you went to Tanya!"

"Oh Bella, I lied. Tanya could never replace you. You are the most amazing person I've ever met. I love you Bella, please forgive me?" She smiled at me, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Of course Edward. I love you too, I always have." I leant and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Go to sleep now Bella, you must be exhausted."

"Will you stay with me?"

"I'll be right here." Right here, where I belonged. My life was lost without her.

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**So did you like it???? Next chapter we'll have some Edward angst!!!! Will he let Bella stay after today? **

**If I get lots of reviews I will type very very quickly and get another chapter up before I go!!! lol  
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	12. It's Nice To Be Home

**Hey, I didnt get any reviews for last chap so I'm kinda sad, but I thought I'd get this chapter out to you anyway. I'll be back in a week! Bye!  
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**I own nothing twilight. **

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EPOV

She fell back asleep again and I took her hand. I was able to think. Thinking wasn't good for me. I would make rash decisions that I would regret, but this was serious. This was exactly why I left. I left so she wouldn't be hurt by any vampire that crossed our path. Yet she'd been hurt. And hurt badly. By Victoria, who I'd tried to track and get rid of. But I'd failed to do that as well. It was all my fault. If I hadn't said what I said she wouldn't have run off into the woods. If I hadn't turned round she wouldn't have run towards me. It was my fault. I put my head in my hands and groaned.

_DONT YOU FUCKING DARE EDWARD CULLEN! _

The fireball came running through the door and silently screamed at me. Alice was more than annoyed. She was absolutely terrifying.

_IF YOU LEAVE I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU, SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY! IF YOU EVEN __**THINK **__OF LEAVING! YOU ARE NOT WORTH HER PAIN!_

"Alice I'm not leaving her. I can't. She has an unexplainable pull to me. I will do anything to be with her. I can't leave now she's here again. I will do anything."

"Would you change her?" The question surprised me. I wasn't expecting her to say that. My brain was screaming at me to say no. I wouldn't kill her, I wouldn't damn her to this existence. To hear her tortured cry due to the pain I'd inflicted on her would be too much. But I couldn't say a definite no anymore. I was a selfish creature and I couldn't live without her, I would have to change her if I wanted to keep her. Bella wanted me to change her before. Does she still? But I can't sit and watch her die by my side. She shouldn't have to go through this! I sighed.

"I don't know." Alice softened as she saw the struggle going on in my mind.

"You know she really does want to be like you. She loves you Edward, despite the fact that you left her. She went shopping with me for you!" That reminded me how utterly ravishing she had looked today.

"Um Alice? Um, would, you, you know, um, be able, to, um, buy Bella, you know another of that shirt she was wearing today? Since it's kind of ruined now." Great, now I couldnt even put together a sentence. Alice smiled at me knowingly.

"She looked gorgeous in it didn't she?"

"She always looks gorgeous," I defended. Alice looked at me and I gave in.

"But yes, she did look beyond gorgeous today."

"You want to see what else we bought her?" Alice smiled slyly at me. I nodded, not knowing where this was heading. She ran through her outfits in her head, starting from the start. Bella did look fantastic in everything. Then Alice showed me how a scene played out in front of a certain shop. My eyes widened as, before my eyes Alice showed me my beautiful angel, in god damned sexy underwear. I clenched my hands into fists as I went hard at the sight. Bella was a goddess.

"Like what you see Edward?"

"ALICE! Stop it!" Jasper called from up the stairs. He must be feeling wretched; the emotions were off the scale today. She smiled smugly at me but stopped thinking of it. Unfortunately the sight was now burned into my eyes and I couldn't stop going through them in my head. Her creamy skin was flawless and her legs stretched on forever. I repressed a groan and Alice laughed, a light tinkling sound.

"Shhhh!" I said, looking pointedly at Bella.

_She'll be fine. She's got a couple of hours before she'll wake up._

"What do you mean?"

_Well she falls asleep for a while but always wakes up screaming. _

Alice had the decency to look worried and upset by it. I saw her going through the episodes in her mind. My eyes crunched up of their own accord and I clenched my fists even tighter. That was my fault. I had left her. I had caused her to have recurring nightmares. It was me. I was a monster in her dreams. I was shaking with anger at myself. What had possessed me to leave? That reason doesn't even exist anymore. Why did I ruin her life? WHY? How could I? I didn't even know she loved me that much. Does she love me now, after everything? Is Alice right? Is it possible that I am Bella's life as she is mine? Could it be? But why the hesitation before? Her smile had not lit up her eyes, like it usually does? Why? Was it possible that she had moved on after all? She had this Jacob, yet she had been so pleased when I kissed her. I didn't understand. Yes, I, Edward Cullen was confused. Bella had knocked me down to size and when it came to her, all reasonable thought went out the window. She was everything to me and I would never let her go again. I would stay forever if she wanted. If she wanted. I would stay till she asked me to leave.

"I will make her better Alice. I promise. I will keep her safe forever."

_Forever?_

"If it comes to it, I may." I still didnt know. I don't know if I'll ever be sure.

_You will Edward. I've seen it. She's so happy. _

"Edward! NO! Don't hurt him!" My head snapped back to Bella. She was thrashing about in her sleep.

"NO!" she cried again and again. I took her face in my hands and leant in close.

"Bella, it's Edward. Wake up sweetheart, it was just a dream." Her eyes flew open and she flung herself on me.

"Careful Bella, you're arm." She didn't seem to care. I sat down on the chair cradling her, and stroking her hair.

"Bella, you're okay, shhhh." She gradually calmed down and I made to put her back to bed.

"No! I want to sleep in my normal room, I don't like this room."

"Where do you normally sleep?" She looked nervous when she answered.

"Um, your room. It was the only room free when I came, sorry." I lifted her face up.

"Bella, it's fine. It means it will smell of you," I said grinning. I picked her up in my arms and left the room. "You'll need to tell me where to go, I haven't been in it yet." She pointed the way up the stairs and down the corridor. I walked into the room and surveyed it. There was Bella's bed, a closet, a ton of shopping bags on the floor and a bookcase. It didn't look lived in.

"Come on," I said and I lifted her across to the bed. I placed her down gently and made to move away but she grabbed me.

"No Edward! Please stay with me." I smiled, anything to be close to her.

"Of course my love." I wrapped the covers around her and held her close to be. She took a deep breath and I laughed.

"Are you smelling me?" She looked up at me through her lashes.

"It's how I get to the sleep. I used one of your shirts before." She looked a bit ashamed so I kissed her on the forehead.

"I don't mind at all. Now go to sleep Bella, it's late." She snuggled into my chest and fell asleep almost immediately. I may basking in her scent as I thought about what undoubtedly would come.

BPOV

I woke up and yawned, finding myself in Edward's arms. I couldn't help but smile.

"Hey." He smiled down at me.

"Hey you." Neither of us made any attempt to move from where we were. As much as I was glad that Edward was back, my mind was still screaming at me to get out now, when I could, instead of getting my heart broken again. But I couldn't get away from him. My mind was intoxicated by him and nothing could tear me from him even if I wanted to get out. All of a sudden I became aware of a throbbing in my head. Now that I realised, it was getting quite painful. I resisted the urge to grimace at it.

"BELLA! GET UP! COME ON!" I sighed as Alice came into the room.

"I'm not moving Alice," and I tightened my grip on Edward. He chuckled slightly.

"Bella," he whispered in my ear, his breath making me shiver, and not from cold. He smiled slightly at my reaction. "I'd get up, you don't want to know what she will do to you." I groaned and rolled away from him reluctantly, straight onto to my arm which I had completely forgotten about. It seemed years since the fight with Victoria.

"OW!" Edward was next to me in a second and I smiled at him, showing him that I was fine. He didn't seem convinced but let it go. I turned back to Alice, the greater problem in hand.

"Why Alice? Why do you have to dress me?" She looked at me, hurt, and pouted.

"But I need to get you dressed Bella. And you need help in the shower." I blushed at that, my stupid cast on my arm would make it difficult. That was fine, but I didn't want to play Bella Barbie.

"Fine. But no Bella Barbie Alice. I am perfectly capable of getting dressed on my own. I'm not stupid," I said exasperated. Then she looked me, her expression pained, looking like she could cry. I knew she was putting it on, but of course I couldn't refuse.

"Half an hour tops."

"Yay!" She ran to Edward and dragged him out the room. 10 minutes later I was out the shower and sat on the bed. She went to the bags in the corner and chucked some stuff at me to put on. I did as she said. She rushed over and played with my hair for a bit, before curling the ends slightly. Luckily she didn't put much make up on, just a bit of lip gloss and eyeliner. She looked at me proudly.

"You can go get breakfast now!" I looked at her sceptically.

"You mean there isn't another form of torture you have ready for me?"

"Oh no, Bella. That's saved for this weekend." Oh no, no, no, no, no.

"Do I even want to know?" She looked at me angrily.

"Bella us girls are going to a spa! It will be FUN!" I just heard the word spa. That translated as pure torture in my world.

"Alice," I groaned. "You can't make me go to a spa!" She glared at me again.

"You're going and that's that. Now get downstairs and eat." She pushed me out the room and me, being me, caught my foot and tripped. I held my broken wrist out of harm's way, but that meant my face was going to hit the floor first.

Then I felt strong arms catch me and I looked up gratefully to see Edward glaring at Alice. She looked at me apologetically and then skipped from the room. Edward helped me up, looking concerned.

"Are you okay?" The question reminded me of the increasingly throbbing pain in my head.

"Yes, perfect." Again he wasn't convinced and I could see him noting my tightened eyes and the way my fists would scrunch up, every now and then. I waved it off and headed downstairs. He took my hand and I smiled and leaned into him. He kissed the top of my head.

"Let's get you fed. Oh and after, Carlisle wants to check everything's okay with you." Edward's face grew dark but when he caught me watching he smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes.

"How are you doing Bella?" Esme asked as she placed some toast down in front of me.

"Um, okay?" It came out sounding as a question. She smiled at me. Carlisle came into the room and smiled at me.

"So how are you feeling this morning?" Wow, was this the question of the week or what?

"Fine," I lied through a mouthful of toast. I didn't want to create unwanted hassle.

"Bella, I need you to tell me how much it hurts okay? It's the only way I can help."

"Okay, okay. My arm's hurting a bit but nothing unmanageable. I accidently rolled onto it this morning." I left out about my head practically killing me but Carlisle caught on.

"And your head?" I sighed.

"It's throbbing really badly, I can barely focus." He nodded and I noticed that Edward's eyes had narrowed. THAT was exactly why I didn't put up any fuss with this whole pain thing.

"I'll give you some morphine once you've finished your breakfast." I quickly stuffed the last bite into my mouth and stood up, wiping my hands on my jeans. I giggled when I saw Alice cringe. Edward followed me up the stairs and into Carlisle's office.

"Does it have to be a needle?" I asked reluctantly. I hated them.

"Yes, sorry Bella." He had the needle ready and I gripped onto Edward's hand for dear life as he stuck it into my arm. As soon as it was out I shook my arm, trying to get rid of the feeling. I shivered in distaste. But a couple of seconds later I felt the morphine enter my system.

"Wow, how much morphine did you give me? I feel like I could fly!!!!" Edward laughed at me and took me downstairs.

"We're going to have a nice calm day Bella okay? We'll watch a film."

"What film?" I asked.

"Whatever you like."

I chose Dracula. The Cullen's were in fits of laughter the whole way through, Emmett making jokes every second of course. About halfway through Alice's face went blank for a couple of seconds before she frowned. Edward sighed while I looked on quizzically.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"The Denali's are coming over tomorrow." Great, a confidence boost is really what I need.

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**Filler chapter before some Tanya drama. I didnt like how this chap turned out, it's kind of boring :( anyway please leave me lots of reviews for when I get back!!!!!**


	13. Tanya

**YO! i am back from inverness, amazingly it wasnt that wet! i spent allllll week on this so I hope you enjoy!! its quite long!! please review!**

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BPOV

I was eating lunch when it happened. When once again, my life came crashing down around me. Nothing could go right for me.

"Bella! You need to get to the hospital! Now!" I jumped up from Edward's knees.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" I looked at Alice, panicking. Edward ran his hands up and down my arms, calming me.

"I don't know, just go quick." I didn't know what to do. I just stood there frozen, like an idiot. Edward pulled me by arm into the garage. The next thing I knew we were at the hospital. My mind had gone completely blank. Edward helped me out the car and I suddenly sprung to life at the sight of the white prison in front of me. I ran in, knowing Edward would follow me. I managed not to fall, miraculously, and I skidded to a stop in front of Jacob's room. There were a number of people in Jacob's room and I started to open the door.

"Bella, you can't go in there." Edward's hand stopped mine and pulled me to a seat, across from the room.

"Why not?" I tried pulling myself from his grasp but he held me tight.

"They're trying to concentrate. Having a hysterical teenage girl in there with them wouldn't help." Despite his protests I still tried to get away from his hold.

"Edward!" I gave up all of a sudden and burst into unnecessary tears. I threw myself at Edward, trying to get as close to him as possible.

"Oh Bella." His expression was pained as he stroked my hair. "It's okay. Jacob will be fine. He just got a bad reaction to one of the medicine's they tried. He's going to be fine sweetheart, or so Carlisle says." I blinked back my tears and crushed my lips to his. He tasted so sweet. I needed him right now, but obviously he couldn't tell. He broke away after just a couple of seconds and I huffed. He hadn't even kissed me properly yet. Well, properly by our standards. Much as I know that the sexual stuff is not as important, I missed it. I missed being able to just sit and kiss him for hours. He chuckled at my stroppy face.

"Bella, we're in a public place. When we're alone and you're not exhausted." I nodded, knowing it wouldn't happen, sighed and put my head on his shoulder. Despite being cold, hard rock, to me he was as soft as any pillow. Make that better than any pillow. We didn't say anything to each other. We just waited, and waited, and waited. Every so often Edward would bring my broken wrist to his lips and kiss it softly, as if it would fix it faster. After, his fingers would run gently along the bump on my head, his fingers cooling the heated pain that was beginning to come back as my drugs wore off. His face would become unreadable and his eyes would darken. My mind struggled to figure out what he was thinking. He looked so serious, he looked like he did after James, when he left me. That thought scared me. He couldn't be leaving again, could he? No, no, no, no. Please no Edward. By the fifth time I was a bundle of nerves, my breathing slightly erratic and I was shaking. Worriedly, Edward didn't even notice. He always did when I got hyped up. Always. He had to be thinking about leaving. How _could_ he be thinking of leaving again? He couldn't be! But this was the only conclusion my fragile mind could come to. My eyes filled with tears again and I felt so helpless and worthless when I said it.

"Please don't leave again." He looked at me in shock. He took my face in his hands and kissed me with such passion, in just a short kiss that I forgot that I was sitting in a hospital, my best friend possibly dying.

"Bella my love, I couldn't leave you unless someone stole you from me, and even then I would join you in death, happily." I looked up at him and his eyes were shining with love.

"I love you Bella, forever and for always." He said it with such conviction, I believed him. Until I remembered that he'd said that before. I shook off the doubts and smiled at him.

"I love you too." I settled my head back against his shoulder and curiosity got the better of me. If he hadn't been thinking of leaving, what had made him so out of it?

"So what were you thinking about?" He stayed silent for a while, and I didn't want to push him to tell me, so I stayed quietly. I jumped slightly when he spoke.

"I...was thinking about....changing you." His voice dropped down to a whisper. I'm sure, my mouth was hanging open as I stared at him. He was considering _changing_ me? That was, that was...

"That's amazing!" I flung my arms around him again and he hesitatingly put his arms around me. He put his nose to my throat and took a deep breath before answering.

"You have to die before you're changed Bella. I don't know if I can watch you die before my eyes. I can't hear you scream for death, all because of me. I can't watch you in pain, it would kill me as well."

Before I could reply Carlisle had appeared in front of us. Behind him I could see the rest of the Doctor's trailing out. Does that mean he's better?

"You can go see him now Bella." I jumped up and took Edward's hand, making my way to the door, but I was yanked back. Edward turned me around and looked down at me.

"I don't think I should go in." What? Of course he should go in!

"Edward, don't be silly. I want you there!"

"Yeh but he doesn't," Edward muttered. I decided to see if a tactic I'd used in the past still worked. I slid my hands down and played with the hem of his t-shirt.

"Edward." He looked at me, his eyebrows raised.

"Please come in with me," I said as I put my hands under his shirt and ran my fingers across his skin. I heard him gasp and then groan.

"Bella, you are a dangerous creature," and with that he marched me over to the room. I went in first and Edward reluctantly followed.

"Jacob!" I cried when I saw my friend. His face was white and I had a sheen of sweat covering it. His eyes opened when he heard me and I rushed over to him.

"Bella, what the hell did you do to your arm?"

"Oh," I said looking at the horrible white cast. "I...um fell over. Tripped." He shook his head at me.

"Bella, what are we going to do with you?" Jacob's eyes fell on Edward than and narrowed slightly. I took Edward's hand and pulled him to me.

"Um, Jacob Edward, Edward Jacob." Edward grunted at him while Jacob just glared at him. There was an awkward silence as the two of them stared each other down. Luckily I was saved by Carlisle.

"Bella can I have a word please?" I jumped up immediately.

"Yes!" I said, perhaps a bit too eagerly. He led me into the hallway.

"I assume Edward told you that Jacob reacted badly to the antibiotics we have given him." I nodded. "Well, I will need your permission to try another type or to just let nature do it's course. Sorry for the kind of crude language," he said when he saw me cringe at him speaking calmly about Jacob's death, though I suppose he has to do this a lot.

I knew what to do immediately. Even though it might give him a smaller time scale to live. I couldn't risk his life again, another bad reaction could kill him even sooner.

"Don't try anything else. It's too risky." Carlisle smiled down at me and nodded.

"I agree Bella." He patted me on the shoulder and moved off down the corridor. I was about to go back into the room when Jacob spoke in a whisper.

"If you dare to fucking leave her again, I will personally hunt you down."

"That makes you and my sister." I burst in, the door slamming against the wall in the process. I was shaking with anger. The fact that Jacob would even dare.

"Jacob Black, don't you dare!" I hissed at him. Edward rushed to his feet and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Calm down Bella." I glared at him and he stepped back holding his hands up in defeat.

"You have no right to say that to him!"

"Bella he has every—" I turned and pointed my finger at Edward.

"Do not start Edward Cullen, you are forgiven!" I turned back to Jacob.

"If I ever hear you say anything horrible or condescending to Edward again, then I'll stop visiting you here. Do you understand?" I didn't mean it, but I was angry. Jacob nodded meekly. Okay maybe I was a bit harsh. But I couldn't take it back now.

"Good. Come on Edward, let's go home. Oh and by the way, I can't come tomorrow, the Cullen's are having visitors," and I stalked out of the room, Edward sniggering behind me.

-----------------

"Bella, sit down!" Edward reached out and pulled me onto his lap. I'd been pacing in front of him as I waited for the imminent arrival of the Denali's. I don't remember much about them, just the fact I thought Edward would use Tanya as a distraction from me. I wondered if he really had. I let Edward hold me still and he hugged me to his chest, kissing me softly.

"I don't know why you are so worried Bella," he said. I sighed, not wanting to go into it. It was Emmett, as usual, who decided to spill the beans.

"It's because a certain blonde bimbo has the hot's for her lover!" he said, teasing me. I growled at him and buried my deep red face in Edward's comforting chest. It didn't stay there long. He prised my face off him and stroked my cheek and across my lip.

"Is that true Bella?" I blushed redder and nodded, looking down at my hands. He sighed.

"Bella, look at me love." I reluctantly looked up at his deep topaz eyes. "I love you and only you. Tanya is a friend and nothing more. And besides, I prefer brunettes," he said winking at me. I nodded, unconvincingly.

"Bella," he said, his eyes glinting. I blurted it all out.

"But she's so much more beautiful than me! And she's like you! She's more suited for you! And you went off with her! You used her as a distraction!"

"Bella don't be absurd! I never used her as a distraction, never Bella! I love you far too much. Where did you even get that from? Bella love, I want you and only you. You are my life, please understand that."

"Well you said, in the...forest." Edward winced and I cringed at the mention of it. "Well you said that your kind are easily distracted. I assumed you went to Tanya."

"Bella, I could barely walk when I left you, Tanya was never on my mind. It was filled with thoughts of you. I lied when I said we are easily distracted. The truth is we aren't. Once a big change has affected us, we will stay that way. You changed my life Bella, and my eternity would have been filled with thoughts of you." I nodded again. He sighed and brought his lips to mine.

"Well that's a lovely greeting." I jumped and flew off of Edward landing on the floor. In the process, I put my arms down to stop myself hurting anything else. This jolted my wrist and I collapsed in pain, the tears stinging the back of my eyes.

"Ow," I managed, before biting down hard on my lip.

"Bella! Bella, are you okay?" Edward lifted me up onto him again and kissed my cast, wishing the pain away. Miraculously, just by being in his arms, the pain had subsided. Edward glared over his shoulder at whoever had startled me. I looked round and there in the doorway was a blonde who could rival Rosalie in beauty. Behind her stood 4 other pale beauties. Edward helped me stand as the other Cullen's greeted their guests.

"Edward darling!" Tanya, I assumed, came forward and wrapped her arms around my Edward, her hands running down his back as she released him, getting extremely close to my Edward's extremely gorgeous ass. I wasn't allowed to do that, why the hell should she be able to? I could feel Jasper trying to calm me, but it wasn't working. I clenched my fists at Tanya. He is NOT your darling! Everyone turned and stared at me, all the Cullen's trying to hide their smirks, except Edward who was grinning in unadulterated delight. Oops. I must have said that out loud. I blushed and Tanya gave a tinkling little laugh.

"And who are you? Some sort of pet?" she asked sneeringly. Edward's look would have killed her had she been human. A low growl rose in his throat and seemed continuous throughout his response.

"She is no pet! And fine you know!" he spat out. He turned back to me and smiled at me, pulling me into his arms. "She is my life, my angel. Everyone this is my Bella, the most amazing, beautiful creature alive." He kissed me as I blushed and tried to hide my face. Did he really just say that? Do I mean that much to him? I almost burst from the seams with joy. I was definitely going through the emotion extremes. Tanya snorted.

"The one Jasper didn't manage to finish off?" Edward pushed me behind him and snarled at Tanya, while Jasper and Alice moving alongside into a fight stance. Tanya waved it off and went and sat down on the loveseat.

"Care to join me Edward?" she asked, patting the seat beside her and flickering her eyes at him. Excuse me while I go puke! Everyone looked at me again, Emmett hooting with laughter. Geez, I have no filter on my mouth today.

"Um, sorry, I didn't realise I said that aloud," I muttered. I blushed while Tanya glared at me. Edward pulled me to the sofa, trying not to laugh. The other Denali's filled the room and filtered through the Cullen's. Carmen and Elezear were the Spanish looking ones, Irina was the one with the long, silver white hair and Kate had the darker blonde hair. They all smiled at me, their happiness evident at Tanya being taken down a peg.

"So," Tanya started addressing me. "You must be the infamous Bella that Edward had to come to me for refuge due to?" Edward started snapping his teeth at Tanya and Jasper had to hold him back.

"Tanya, you know that is not true in the slightest." He continued snarling at her, trying to get out of Jasper's grip.

I was literally seething with anger and I wanted to hit her. She was taunting both me and Edward. To do it to me was acceptable, but to anger Edward so, was different. That was just wrong. Keep him out of it you bitch! I screamed at her in my head. I didn't let her see how angry I was, but assumed an air of confidence.

"Yes, that's me, pleased to meet you," I said smiling. I didn't know how I said that to her, when I was quivering inside. I looked round at Jasper and he winked slyly at me while finally releasing Edward who wrapped his trembling arms around me immediately. I could feel him calm down behind me. Tanya turned her attention back to Edward, giving up on me for the moment.

"Care to give me a tour of the house Edward?" He looked down at me and shook his head.

"Edward, just give her a 'tour'. I need a human moment anyway." I didn't want him to have to ruin his friendship just because Tanya happened to hate me.

"Fine," he said reluctantly and the three of us went off in different directions. There was an en-suite bathroom in mine and Edward's room-Alice had really thought about everything-so I quickly went there. I heard giggling when I was washing my hands and when I went out, Tanya and Edward were there, against the wall, pressing into each other, with Tanya's leg hitched up around his waist. My mind froze and I did the only thing I could. I ran. Edward called out my name but I ran past him. I ran past the Cullen's in the hallway. Alice grabbed hold of my arms.

"It's not what you think." Ha!

"Alice just please let me go," I said numbly. The look on my face must have convinced her as she let me go. I felt Esme's hand touch me as I ran out the house and into the fateful forest. I slowed when I saw that no one was following me, not wanting a repeat of my wrist. I didn't get as far as I had before, when I sank onto the ground, completely numb. My mind couldn't process this betrayal. After everything he'd said, and like a fool, I'd believed him. How could this happen to me? I wanted to scream, at Tanya, at Edward, and at myself. I was a mess. I tore at my hair, the tears still not coming, my shock numbing my pain. How could he? He'd ripped out my heart and then thrown it on the ground. Again. I had trusted him. Yet he just threw it away, even though he knew how hard I'd worked to trust him. Why did he do this? Why?

"Hey Bells."

"Go away Jasper," I whispered. My voice sounded awful, even to my own ears.

"Bells, it's not what you think."

"I know it is."

"It isn't. Tanya pushed him against the wall the moment you appeared. She wanted to make you like this, she did this to hurt you Bella, please believe me. You know Edward would never do that to you." The Edward I knew wouldn't do this. Jasper's words made sense. I though back to the moment when I saw them, Edward's face had been in shock, he looked like a rabbit caught in the spotlight. He looked like he didn't want to be there. But was just the fact that I had seen them together? I wanted to believe Jasper but I didn't know which Edward was the real one. I needed it proven. I couldn't just go in blindly again.

"Prove it," I told Jasper.

"What?"

"Show me how he feels. Show me how he felt with Tanya against him, how he felt when he left me, when he looks at me, when I kiss him, everything Jasper. I need to know for sure."

So he showed me. Disgust of the worst kind; pain so deep I had to curl up on the ground; love so pure, I almost floated away; a mixture of love and lust so powerful I had to stifle a moan.

"He loves you Bella! Believe that! He would do NOTHING to hurt you and yet you run at every chance you get! Trust him Bella!" Jasper yelled at me, his frustration openly showing. He was right, he was so right. How could I have doubted Edward? This had opened my eyes. He didn't want Tanya, he wanted me. Little Bella, nothing special, yet he still wanted me. I could feel the blood rushing to my head at this revelation. But he shouldn't love me, he shouldn't!

"But Jasper, how can I trust him, when I don't trust myself to be good enough for him?" Jasper softened.

"Bella, you are his world, his angel from heaven. You are an amazing person-look at how you've changed me! His love should prove to you that he is genuine. Never doubt his love Bella, never." Finally the tears came.

"Oh Jasper," I sobbed. "How can I go back? How can I face him? Am I too late? Is this one time too many?" I hoped I wouldn't be. I couldn't be, I couldn't lose him again.

"Of course you aren't Bella. He would wait all of eternity for you." He helped me up and walked me back to the house.

"Go get him tiger," he whispered before slipping into the living room. No one noticed me in the doorway, not even Alice. They were all looking at Edward. He held his head between his hands, his shoulders shaking in obvious grief. And I did that. How could I have caused him so much pain? I was the monster. A monster who hurt the one I loved.

"Edward," I whispered, almost silently. His head shot up and he was halfway towards me before I could blink. He froze though, with his arms outstretched. He dropped his arms and his gaze went distant and hollow.

"Edward, please don't look at me like that. I'm so sorry." Tears fell from my eyes as he gazed at me.

"Edward, I over reacted. I'm so so sorry, please forgive me." My voice broke and in a second Edward had me in his arms and we were in the hallway.

"Bella, love, please don't cry."

"But Edward you were so sad! And it was all my fault, I'm so so sorry!" He squeezed me tighter.

"Bella, it is not your fault. It's mine. I should have realised what she was thinking."

"Edward it wasn't your fault! I love you and now I know you love me too and I'm so so sorry," I sobbed.

"Bella, shhh, it's neither of us to blame. Please stop crying." He held up my face and wiped my tears away gently. "I love you Bella, please stop crying." I looked into his eyes and the tears stopped. He kissed me, not lustfully but a kiss that showed how much he loved me.

"What made you change your mind?" he asked curiously.

"Jasper, he showed me." His eyes narrowed.

"Showed you what?"

"He showed me how you felt, with Tanya, when you left, when you look at me, when we kiss." He growled slightly.

"He showed what I felt when I left?"

"Yes Edward, I'm so sorry. I never knew that you felt that way towards me. I'm so sorry for not trusting you."

"I think we need to get revenge on a certain blonde," he told me, lowering his voice and winking at me. I half-smiled at him.

"How?"

"Leave it to me." I nodded and he put an arm around my waist as we walked back to the living room. He pulled me onto his knee on the loveseat and I snuggled into him, still slightly embarrassed after my overreaction. Alice smiled at me and I smiled back.

Edward didn't do anything. No revenge, nada. At 6 o clock, Esme got up.

"Bella! Sorry, I'll just go make you something to eat." I stood up quickly.

"Don't bother Bella, I want to." I hesitated as she left the room. I shook my hair out and suddenly I was pressed up against the wall. Edward's eyes were dark and heavy with lust. He smashed his lips to mine and my mouth opened of its own accord. Edward's tongue slid into my mouth and I moaned unintentionally. My lips pressed forward into Edward's and he ran his hand up my waist and over the mound of my breast. Wow. Just wow.

"Guys, stop having sex against the wall!" Trust Emmett to ruin the moment. Edward moved his head back slightly and growled while I struggled to get my breath back. I had gone to Edward Cullen heaven. He had never, ever gone that far before. What had made him go further?

"What brought that on?" I whispered.

"When you shook your hair, not only did you look amazing but you smelled unbelievably delicious." I chuckled at me as he kissed me neck. I nudged him to look around at Tanya, who was sitting morosely, glaring in our direction every other second. It was his turn to laugh now.

"I guess our revenge is done," he said quietly.

"Bella!" Esme's tinkling voice came from the kitchen. I groaned.

"I better go get something to eat." Edward leant forward, his breath ticking my ear and whispered to me.

"You can eat me any time you want," he said sexily. I stifled a moan.

"Give me ten minutes." He smirked down at me, gave me one last kiss before swinging me over his shoulder.

"Edward! Put me down!" I screamed, giggling at the same time. My cries were useless though as we were already in the kitchen. He plonked me down on a chair and I glared playfully at him. He smiled his crooked smile and I forgot everything.

"Bella? Bella?" I looked round, dazed, to see Esme holding a dish.

"Oh sorry Esme!" Edward sniggered behind me and I tried to hit him but he was out of reach.

"Wait till I'm a vampire," I huffed. Edward froze for a second but quickly regained his composure.

"You're down to 7 minutes 19 seconds," he told me winking. I blushed as Esme's sharp eye examined us both.

"Please don't say you two are going to have sex with us in the house!" she asked, shocked. I choked on my chicken, and spluttering, took a drink of water.

"HA! No way! They're just going to torture poor Jasper with some serious tongue action!" Emmett hollered form the other room. I blushed redder.

"And mum, like you even care. You've lived with Rosalie and Emmett for the past 50 years." I laughed at Edward, and Esme nodded her head.

"Well you enjoy your dinner dear. And dessert," she said, winking slyly at me and slipping out the room. Edward came over to me and kissed below my ear.

"4 minutes left love."

"Well it's hard to eat with one hand," I muttered. He immediately took the fork from my hand and fed the food to me.

"Ugh, I feel like a baby." He laughed and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, his cool fingers brushing my cheek. That was all it took. I was out of my chair and my lips were on his in an instant. He clutched me to him.

"Oh god, Bella." Then we were in his room, on the bed.

"Sorry," I whispered as he placed me down.

"For what?"

"Very bad breath!" He laughed and moved so he was over me. He leant down so he was lying on top of me, though I could feel none of his weight. He kissed along my collarbone, his lips trailing cool touches across it. He moved up my neck and inhaled deeply.

"Bella you smell remarkably mouth-watering today." He brought his lips to mine and I caught them in a fierce embrace. He rolled over so I was on top, straddling his hips. He continued kissing me, his tongue flicking over mine like never before. His hands began a light caress under the hem of my t-shirt. They gradually moved higher and my body tightened in response. I felt myself go wet at his touch and I blushed; no doubt he would be able to smell my arousal. He noticed my redness and chuckled, knowing its cause.

"You smell irresistible like this Bella. You don't know how much I want you right now." He pressed his lips to mine again and his hands moved higher still. When he slightly brushed his fingers over my breasts, I moaned and without meaning to, I rocked my hips against his. He moaned and opened his eyes to look at me. He moved and was halfway across the room before I could blink.

"Sorry," I said, tears pricking the back of eyes at this rejection. I closed them tight.

"Don't be sorry Bella." I opened them again and his beautiful face was inches from mine.

"Bella you make feelings appear in me, I've never felt before. I haven't experienced this and I can't do anything that might hurt you." I understood, I really did. It didn't mean I agreed though.

"I don't think you could hurt me Edward." He shook his head immediately.

"Bella I could break you so easily—" I cut him off abruptly.

"Edward, physically maybe, but emotionally you wouldn't be able to hurt me. And Alice would warn you! She'd see you wouldn't hurt me." He sighed.

"Let me think Bella, I...I need time." I smiled.

"Don't take too long, I don't think Jasper or I can take it," I said jokingly. He smiled at me, dazing me for a couple of seconds.

"Go get ready for bed Bella." I looked at a clock, amazed to see how much time had passed. I got up from the bed and went to my clothes. I looked over at Edward. He was staring at me so I bent over and winked at him and he groaned. I laughed and turned back to my clothes and slyly pulled one of Alice's purchases, a 'sexy' midnight blue negligee. Luckily Edward didn't notice and I slipped into my bathroom. Once there I began regretting my decision. What if he thought I was being stupid? Or worse, what if he didn't like it? I suddenly got a burst of confidence, no doubt Alice's hint to Jasper. I quickly got ready; making sure my breath was minty fresh. I went out the door before I could reconsider.

When I stepped out, Edward's mouth literally fell to the floor. His eyes already dark, grew blacker still.

"Fuck Bella." Oh. My. God. I made Edward Cullen curse. I giggled slightly and then he was pressed up against me.

"You think it's funny do you?"

"Yes."

"You're making this so hard Bella. You're too damn sexy for your own good." I blushed and he kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tugged lightly at my hair. He growled and moved me to the bed.

"Bedtime Bella." It was my time to growl now. He laughed at me.

"If you promise to behave, I might kiss you for a little while longer." I nodded eagerly and went back to kissing him. His hands never wandered this time. Gradually the time passed. When I stopped for some breathe a while later, I looked over at my clock. It read 03:07. How time flies when you're having fun I thought wryly. Edward sighed and ran his pale, cold hands over my red swollen lips.

"You need to go to sleep you sexy vixen."

"You think this sexy? Wait till you see what I'll wear tomorrow night." Okay, where did that come from? His eyes widened.

"I can imagine." He rolled off me but kept his arms around me.

"Go to sleep now Bella. I love you." I yawned, now realising how tired I was.

"Love you too Edward." I kissed his chest and snuggled into him. I fell into a dreamless sleep immediately, Edward calming and comforting me with his presence.

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**from now on, I havent got any big Bella/Edward problems, they are together forever!!!!! (unless i think of something cool that would cause them more problems), anyway please review!**


	14. Realization

**Why hello! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I have now made and effort to repy to everyone! this chap was original really short but it kinda grew, so please enjoy and review!**

**wow poetry! lol, also if anyone is interested i have a new story up called 'give me a reason to live' so please go check that out. it's only got one chap at the moment but i will hopefully update it tomorrow!  
**

**I dont own anything twilight orientated.  
**

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BPOV

I woke up from the perfect dream. I was on Edward's bed, and we were kissing, properly for once, for hours and hours and hours. I opened my eyes. My lashes brushed against a cool object and I looked up into my beautiful Edward's face.

"Hey gorgeous." He smiled his crooked smile at me and his eyes bored into mine.

"You look tired." He ran a finger beneath my eyes. Well I felt tired.

"I am." He smirked at me.

"You hungry?" I nodded quickly. "Alice has made you some food downstairs." I got out of the bed and went down the stairs, completely forgetting about the outfit I was wearing. A wolf whistle came from in front of me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Who's turned all sexy on us!" I froze and went beet red. Edward came up behind me and handed me a silk robe. I grabbed it from him and wrapped it round me quickly while Emmett laughed.

"So Bella, give us all the gossip, is our brother good in bed?" Edward reached out and smacked Emmett over the head, growling.

"Leave her alone. We didn't even do anything, as you know."

"You're just worried she'll say you were a rubbish kisser." I smiled at that one, as if that would ever happen. Alice plonked a bowl of cereal down in front of me and folded her arms pouting. I raised my eyebrows, unaware to what I've done.

"What?" Edward chuckled while Alice just glared at me. I looked at him expectantly.

"She's seen you disagreeing to the lovely prospect of going shopping."

"Alice I need to see Jacob! I was really mean when I last saw him." I flinched slightly when I remembered what I said. Tanya walked in, glaring at me before going to stand next to Edward.

"Does that mean I'll have Edward to myself all day?" She ran a couple of fingers down Edward's arm. He grimaced and moved away to sit next to me. He put his arm on my leg and rubbed it soothingly, even though it wasn't necessary. Tanya was pathetic; even I could see that now.

"No he won't be able to Tanya. He's going shopping with me." I laughed at Edward's shocked expression as he stared at Alice in complete horror. Alice groaned.

"For goodness sake Edward! It's for a good cause." Edward's face took a complete change of direction. His eyes lit up and he smiled brightly at me. This could not be good. I picked up the spoon with my good hand and took a mouthful. I looked up to find everyone, including Carlisle, staring at my food in disgust. I rolled my eyes at them and continued eating, though I blushed slightly. It was weird having like 10 people staring at you as you eat. I finished quickly, to find them all still staring at me in disgust.

"Geez, you'd think I was eating crap," I murmured. Edward chuckled besides me and helped me up.

"Let's go get you dressed." He held my hand and pulled me out the room.

"How about you help me undress as well?" He smirked and leant down to kiss his forehead.

"Bella stop it." I pouted at him, my trick I'd learnt from Alice.

"Bella, don't." I sighed and admitted defeat. Edward Cullen was just as stubborn as I was, more so in fact. I walked into our room and just grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt before going into the bathroom. It was after I'd undressed that I realised I'd forgotten to bring in clean underwear with me. Shit. Okay think calmly Bella. I couldn't just go out there naked. I looked around the room and saw what I needed. I slipped the silk robe back on and peeked my head out the door. Edward was sitting on the bed.

"Eh, Edward?" His head jolted to mine, his eyes blazing. I blinked and he was in front of me. He pressed his lips to mine and my hands let go of holding the robe and reached into his hair, pulling him closer. He gasped and I opened my eyes. He was staring at me. Me, with my robe open.

"SHIT!" I jumped away from him, pulling the robe back around me and slamming the bathroom door shut. I groaned and slid down the door. I could feel my cheeks burning red and I slammed my head against the door. What. An. Idiot. And I hadn't even gotten my underwear.

"Bella!" Alice's voice came from the other side. I stood up and wrapped the robe around me tightly. I opened the door to her.

"What?" I wailed.

"Here." She tossed me some underwear and I smiled gratefully.

"Thanks." I looked round my room to find it empty except for her. "Where's Edward?" Alice giggled slightly.

"He, eh, had to, uh, calm down. You just get dressed now Bella." I blushed again.

"Right." I walked uncertainly back to the bathroom and changed. I brushed my teeth and checked my face. Great, I was still red. I walked out cautiously but no one was there so I walked down the stairs. I felt my face going red and I wasn't even surrounded by people. They were in the kitchen. I walked in slowly, my hands sliding to my pockets, while I looked at the ground, moving my hair forward till it covered my face. I couldn't face everyone. I felt rather than saw Edward come in front of me. I didn't feel his arms wrap around me and move us out of the room.

"Bella, don't ever hide your face from me." He lifted my chin up and pushed my blanket of hair behind my ear.

"I'm so sorry," I managed to whisper.

"Bella love, you don't need to be sorry."

"I do. Alice said you had to calm down, you were angry at me." Edward started laughing and I glared up at him.

"Why the hell are you laughing at me Edward Cullen?" My embarrassment was making me angry at him. He was laughing at my humiliation. He stopped immediately and looked at me, his eyes sparkling.

"Bella I wasn't angry at you. I could never be angry at you. I just needed to calm down." I looked at him in confusion. "Bella, seeing you like that, it, well I got a bit carried away." It was Edward's turn to look sheepishly at the ground.

"How do you mean?" He looked at me again.

"Seeing you like that, it brought very...extreme feelings to me." I looked into his eyes.

"Oh. OH! Ohhhhh!" I blushed again and he cupped my face with both his hands.

"Bella, you adorable little creature, I love you so much." He pressed his lips to mine and I smiled against them.

"Come on, Carlisle is going to take you in. Alice wants me to go in a separate car."

"What are you shopping for?" He looked away from me as he answered.

"Clothes." This could not be good at all. Edward passed me my coat and led me out to the garage, and Carlisle's Mercedes. He was already there waiting.

"Have fun with Alice," I muttered to Edward as he hugged me goodbye.

"Oh I will Bella." He kissed me once more.

I climbed into Carlisle's Mercedes and there was a bit of an awkward silence.

"Bella, I'd like to explain to you more about HIV. Is that okay?" I nodded.

"Once you have contracted the HIV virus, almost all sufferers will eventually get acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, more commonly known as AIDS. This occurs once their CD4+T cells fall below a certain level. However the virus also affects other cells in the immune system, macrophages and microglial cells. You get me?" I nodded and he continued. "So once AIDS has been contracted officially there are 4 stages to it. The incubation period, acute infection, latency stage and then AIDS. The first stage, the incubation period is usually asymptomatic." I looked at him blankly. "As in no symptoms appear. The second stage is where I would estimate Jacob to be. This can include a variety of symptoms as you have witnessed." I nodded. "This stage usually lasts an average of 28 days. The third stage lasts anything between a couple of weeks to 20 odd years. This stage, similar to the first shows few or little symptoms. As Jacob has had a slightly increased rate of the disease showing up in his system, I would guess that he would last about 4-6 weeks in this stage. The fourth stage is when infection is likely to happen. People do not usually die of AIDs per se; they die of an infection like pneumonia that preys on the weak immune system."

"And how long does that stage last?"

"It depends."

"On?" I asked impatiently.

"On how bad the infection he is likely to catch will be."

"How long do you think that will last? Out of personal experience? How long? Tell me, please." He sighed and looked over at me, his expression cutting through my heart.

"I'd estimate 2-3 weeks."

"B...But that's not right! You said he had 6 months left! Now you think he only has 6 weeks!"

"Bella, that was before I got a proper chance to study Jacob. Now that I have seen how active this disease is, his lifespan will be much shorter. I'm sorry."

"Why? How? How can you tell me that? This can't be happening. He should have months left! You said! You said!" I threw my head against the headrest in tears, my body shaking. I felt the car shudder to a stop and Carlisle brought me into his arms. His touch didn't have the same calming effect as Edward did, but the coolness had a reminder of it.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I wish there was something I could do." As with Alice, my sobs gradually quietened.

"Sorry Bella," Carlisle said once more as he restarted the car.

We were almost at the hospital when it came to me. Carlisle could do something. He could, Edward could. They could save Jacob. And by saving Jacob, they would save me. This was brilliant! It was perfect. It would work without a doubt, and Jacob would still be alive! I could stop his death. We pulled up at the hospital and I shook my head. I needed to get those thoughts out of my head for the moment. I would need to work out a way to ask, yet how could I ask them to do this? It would disrupt everything. It would ruin their life here. Yet I knew that if asked, Edward would most likely do it for me. Because he loved me, and Jacob dying would hurt me more than he would want. But now that the thought was in my mind, I couldn't back down. It was the one chance for Jacob to live and I couldn't just turn away from it.

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The tears started again as soon as I saw Jacob. He looked awful, worse than he had two days earlier. I ran to his bedside and took his hand.

"Jake you look awful." He smiled weakly.

"Thanks Bella, you sure know how to build a guy's confidence." I laughed through my tears.

"At least you're still joking."

"Of course Bella, I could never not tease you." I half-smiled at him. Carlisle walked in with a clipboard.

"So Jacob, pain scale?"

"About an 8."

"An 8! Isn't that really bad?" I had jumped up in alarm.

"Bella calm down. We'll give him some morphine," Carlisle told me.

"Right. Sorry." I sat back down, my cheeks once again red.

"And your symptoms?" Carlisle addressed Jacob.

"A bit of a headache, and my legs really hurt. And it's really cold." Carlisle nodded.

"That will be the fever. I'll get a nurse in to give you the morphine and get you some water. Bella, would you be so kind as to find Jacob some of the more edible food in the canteen downstairs? Believe me the food for visitors there is miles better than the stuff they bring up for patients." I stood up nodding my head violently. Carlisle walked out of the room and seconds later a young nurse bustled in.

"You fancy anything in particular?" He shook his head.

"Just some cereal or something is fine." I nodded and left the room. Trying to follow the directions to the canteen, about an hour later it seemed I finally reached it, after getting lost 3 times. I got a tray and chucked on some food. I wasn't really looking at what I was getting him. During the walk down my mind had gone back to my plan. If I could just get them to agree to it, everything would be perfect. I would be able to live with my best friend and my boyfriend. Forever.

"Oh my God, sorry!" I had bumped into someone when I turned around.

"Oh its okay, I wasn't looking where I was going." I smiled nervously.

"Sorry again though." They guy opposite me laughed. He had short blonde hair, and looked remarkably like Mike. Though he did seem much nicer and less inclined to date me than Mike. Once again using distraction techniques.

"I'm Jonathon." He held out his hand and I shook it. It was warm and nothing like what I wanted.

"Bella."

"Who are you here for?"

"Um my friend. He um, he has HIV." I looked down at the ground, using my hair as a shield again.

"I'm sorry. I know the feeling too." I looked up in surprise. I recognised the tone in his voice. Pain, and utter defeat. It was how I sounded. Until this morning.

"My mum is dying of cancer. She's not got long left."

"I'm sorry too."

"Yeh well maybe I'll see you around here sometime. We can talk."

"I'd like that." He said bye and walked away. Talking would be good. He was someone who understood. He was like me. I quickly returned to Jacob's room to find him drugged up and half out of it. I handed him the food.

"Here." He sat up as I sat down awkwardly on the chair beside him.

"Thanks." We were silent for a couple of moments.

"Jacob I'm so sorry. About the day before yesterday. I didn't mean what I said, I'm sorry." He grinned at me.

"Bella, it doesn't matter. I knew you didn't mean it. And besides, I deserved it."

"Are you sure you're okay? You know with us?" I blushed and looked at the ground.

"Bella, I'm happy because you're happy." I searched his eyes, looking for some bitterness. And I found it. It just made me feel even guiltier. I had dropped him at a second's notice and gone off with some guy, I had been so obsessed with Edward being here I had completely left behind my dying friend. I closed my eyes and stifled a groan. I was a horrible person. I opened them and Jacob was staring at me intently. I waved him off.

"So how is life in hospital?" He looked at me with his eyebrows raised.

"Crap. I'm just glad I have a TV." I smiled. I looked around the room. There were flowers on a stand. I nodded at them.

"Who bought you the flowers?" Jacob had the decency to look embarrassed.

"One of the nurses." My eyes barrowed. Okay why was I getting all uptight about this? Jacob was a free man, and he had every right after what I had done.

"Bella we're just friends!"

"Yeh I know that."

"Someone getting jealous?"

"No, of course I'm not." I wasn't jealous. Just...overprotective. At least that's what I told myself. The tension in the room started building as I looked at Jacob. Every time I saw his eyes I heard Carlisle's voice telling me he had 6 weeks left. 6 weeks. He only had 6 weeks left. Unless my plan worked. I had to stifle another groan and I ran my hands through my hair.

"Jacob I have to phone Charlie. And Billy. I have to tell them...stuff." How was I supposed to tell them that he would die in 6 weeks?

"What? Have you found out something else? What has Dr Cullen told you?" My eyes filled with tears, though they didn't fall yet. My mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. How could I tell Jacob he would die in 6 weeks? I shut my mouth with an audible snap and hurried from the room to a pay phone. I phoned Charlie first.

"Hello."

"Hey Dad, it's me."

"Bella, how are you? How is Jacob?" My throat constricted and no sound could come out.

"Bella? Bella are you there? Are you okay?"

"Dad you need to get down here immediately. Jacob's going to die in 6 weeks." Then the tears fell.

"What?"

"Jacob has about 6 weeks left. You have to get here," I sobbed.

"Of, of course Bella. We'll get a flight down next Monday."

"D...dad?"

"Yes?" He sounded like he was in shock.

"C...could you please tell Billy."

"Of course Bella, anything."

"Thank you. Bye."

"Bye Bella." I put the phone back up and sank to the floor, sobbing my heart out. I clutched my knees to my chest and let the tears come.

"Bella it's going to be okay." Carlisle came and sat down beside me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I leant into him.

"It won't be. You know that as well as I do." Any thoughts of any plan had flown straight out of mind after the phone call.

"Shhhh." He rubbed my back soothingly. "I'll tell Jacob. You shouldn't have to deal with this Bella." I nodded, sniffing and trying to stop my tears but I couldn't. They just ran constantly. Carlisle helped me up and walk along to Jacob's room.

"Bella! Bella! What's wrong with her?" I sank into a chair, my eyes on the floor while the tears continued flowing. I was sinking deeper and deeper into a numb empty shell. I needed Edward, I needed him to bring me back to the world. I was too deep for anyone else to save me now.

"Jacob I have bad news for you. I have a timescale for your illness. I'm afraid that by my calculations you have between 6 and 8 weeks left."

"That's it?" he gasped. My mind registered this and I looked up at Jacob. He was looking at Carlisle in complete and utter terror. It broke my heart to see him look so vulnerable.

"I'm afraid so Jacob. You seem to have a very high accelerated version of the disease. I'm so sorry." He left the room. I walked over numbly to his bed and sat on the edge. I took his hand and he pulled me to him, a loud rasping sound coming from the centre of his chest. I laid my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that, both of us sobbing in our different ways for what seemed like hours. We didn't eat lunch. We didn't even think about lunch. We just sat there and cried.

I don't know what time it was when Carlisle came in again. He looked at us and for a moment his charade seemed to slip and his eyes were full of pain as he registered ours. But he put it back in place almost immediately.

"Pain scale?"

"6.5," Jacob whispered, his voice hoarse.

"I'll get you some more morphine."

"Carlisle?" I spoke up suddenly, the hole in my chest seeming larger than usual.

"Yes Bella?"

"I want to go home. Could you phone Alice?"

"Sure Bella." He left the room. No doubt Alice would be coming up the stairs now.

Just as I thought this she came in. Edward as well.

"Edward." As soon as I saw him I ran to him and collapsed into his arms, my legs giving way beneath me. I started sobbing uncontrollably again.

"Edward, oh Edward." I wrapped my arms round him tighter, breathing him in, his scent calming me slightly. I felt myself being picked up into his arms, bridal style.

"Bella, please please stop crying love." He stroked my cheek gently, wiping away my tears. But I couldn't stop.

"Take me home Edward. Please." I felt myself being carried out the room, but I couldn't concentrate. I vaguely recall Alice saying bye to Jacob but Edward was striding off, barely walking at a human pace, his desperation showing. He continued to rub soothing circles down my arm and leant down to kiss me every so often. We got to Alice's Porsche and Edward didn't bother to put me in another seat. He just held me on his lap and pulled me close to him. I continued to sob, my tears soaking his shirt.

"Bella." His voice cracked with pain as he looked down at me. More to add to my guilt.

"I'm so sorry Edward." That was all I could get out before sobbing again. I clutched at Edward, continually breathing him in, wanting him to be closer, but finding it was impossible. I didn't notice when Alice screeched her car to a stop in the garage, or when Edward took me inside. I could hear Esme's horrified gasp when she saw my state and I could feel Jasper's calmness push at the outside of my mind, but like I said, I was too deep for anyone but Edward to save me now.

"Bella?" I looked up when I heard Alice's voice. "Tomorrow we need to talk." And with that Edward whisked me upstairs and laid me on the bed, still cradling me. I put my face in the crook of his neck, his hands constantly soothing me.

Alice's words came back to me and for the first time I realised the look that was on her eyes. And it all came back to me. My plan, how I was going to save Jacob. Alice would have seen it. She knew everything. Absolutely everything. And she would tell them all, and they wouldnt agree. Jacob would die. And part of me would die with him. I just hoped that I would still have Edward to make me whole again.

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**another chapter done. so who knows what Bella's plan is??? I hope you enjoyed, please review!**


	15. A Glimpse Into the Future

**yo! Sorry about the start of this chap in the BPOV. I dont really like it.**

** Second chance has been nominated over at the 'Twilight Awards for me' for the Freshie Award. Please go over there and vote. the link is on my profile! hope you enjoy this! please review!**

**I dont own anything twilight!**

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BPOV

When I woke up, my throat was killing me. I tried to cough but it more of a rasp then anything. Edward helped me sit up and I saw his face for the first time. He was in pain. His eyes were dark and hooded and his gaze was numb and empty, as if shielding himself from the pain in front of his eyes.

"What's wrong Edward?" I brushed my fingers underneath his dark eyes. He just continued to look at me.

"Edward, tell me what's wrong? Has something happened?" He shook his head slightly.

"Are you okay?"he asked me, coming out of a trance it seemed. And then I realised. He'd been worried about me. Worried that I was going to throw some fit or something. He was in pain because I was.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have seen that." He shook his head again.

"Are you feeling better?" he persisted in asking. I sighed.

"A little. At least it's all out my system now right?" He didn't smile.

"Edward," my voice crackled. I frowned at it. I sounded like hell.

"What's the time?"

"It's just after 7. AM that is. You've slept for 15 hours." His voice grew more pained as he talked about my sleep. I groaned.

"What did I say?" He shook his head and stared down at the bed.

"It was that bad huh?" He didn't say anything else, just kept staring at the bed.

"Suddenly the door crashed open and Alice harpooned straight onto the bed. Oh yeh, she wanted to talk to me.

"Bella! We're going shopping this morning!"

"Alice didn't we go like two days ago?" She nodded.

"But we're going again. Now get up." She dragged me from my warm bed and pushed me into my bathroom, quickly throwing some clothes in after me. I sighed and settled down to my fate.

APOV

"Alice, why are you reciting the Bible backwards in Spanish?" I turned towards Edward.

"Because I figure it's a learning experience." He growled at me.

"What are you hiding from me Alice?"

_Todos con sea Jesus Senor nuestro de gracia la. _

He growled at me again.

"Alice tell me. Is it about Bella?" I sighed.

"Sort of. It involves her and I am going to talk to her about it today. _That_ is why we are going shopping. Now get out of my head! Go make Bella some breakfast. SHe must be starving." He nodded and walked slowly down the stairs. He looked as bad as Bella sounded.

_It's not as if somebody died Edward. Cheer up! You are depressing Bella! _I cringed when I realised what I had said.

_Sorry Edward. Look I'll have her back by 5. Please be a bit happier by then? For Bella's sake. She's upset enough without worrying about you as well. _He didn't say anything in return so I just let him be. He could wallow in his depression if he liked. Bella looked much happier this morning so I don't see what he is so upset about anyway.

"Alice, I am not wearing these jeans." I sighed and pushed open the door.

"What's wrong with them?"

"Alice they are skin tight! I can barely breathe!"

"Ah but think of what they'll do to Edward." I winked her but she frowned.

"He's not in mood this morning. He's angry at me. I don't know why."

_See what you've done?!_

"Bella he's not angry! He just doesn't like seeing you in so much pain." She nodded glumly and preceded downstairs. I stared after her, wondering how I was going to breach the subject I knew I must discuss.

* * *

"Can we please just get this over with?"

"Give me two minutes. They can still hear us." I sped up, though not enough to worry Edward about Bella's safety. No doubt Edward would be listening, trying to figure out what I wanted to talk about and to make sure Bella would be okay. Well he wouldn't be getting any information. At least not until tonight. I looked across at Bella. She was sitting, playing with her hands, looking at anything except me. I didn't know if I agreed with what she wanted. It made sense. I mean she would be getting changed too, so we would move anyway. But Bella wanted this, and Jacob didn't even know about vampires. It was two completely different cases.

BPOV

I was waiting. I knew what was coming but I didn't want to explain. I couldn't explain. I knew what I wanted was wrong. It was selfish and it would upset everyone's life, but I had to save Jacob. I just hoped that Alice would not be too angry.

"So," Alice finally said.

"So," I mimicked her. I could feel her turn around to look at me.

"You care to explain why I suddenly saw Jacob as a vampire?" I bit down on my lip.

"I don't know," I muttered under my breath.

"Bella."

"I don't want him to die Alice. And this was the only way I could think of that would save him. At first it was an errant thought, but it grew and grew and now I really want it. And I know I'm so selfish and I know that it would ruin everyone's life but I have to ask. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try. I'm sorry." Alice stopped the car and put her arms around me.

"I know Bella. I know that you are just trying o save your friend."

"But when Edward changes me, I'll be the same and we'd have to move out of here to somewhere remote. Why not move now then?" My tears were running silently down my face, soaking Alice's shirt.

"You know what Bella; I can see your point I really can. I just don't think that everyone else will be so accommodating. Rosalie especially doesn't like change."

"I know. And I know I shouldn't ask. I don't want to ruin everything for you! I hate wanting to ask, but Jacob is my best friend! And I love him Alice! He saved me, so it's only fair that I save him now."

"I know Bella, I know. Look how about I talk to everyone? I'll talk to them all tonight. That means you don't have to ask them or anything. I'll make sure I get your point across okay? Would that be easier?" I sniffed and nodded my head. And then I thought of Edward and my tears started up again.

"B...but Alice? It would hurt Edward. He'd think I want Jacob more than him and I don't! I just want to live with them both."

"I'll deal with Edward. Now calm down Bella. I'll take you to the hospital and then I'll go get some clothes for you so it looks as if we've been shopping and I'll pick you up on the way back. Is that okay?"

For once I didn't argue when Alice said she would get some clothes for me. I knew they would be expensive but I couldn't complain right now. My life had bigger problems. I nodded at her and she started the car again.

"Everything will be okay Bella, wait and see." I sat and wondered as the car drove off again. Did she see Jacob actually becoming a vampire? Or did she only see me asking?

"Alice," I whispered. I wasn't sure what I wanted to hear.

"Alice, did you see Jacob as a vampire, or is it a definite no already? I need to know. I don't want to get my hopes up."

APOV

How could I answer that? I didn't understand what I had seen. It was like with Bella turning into a vampire. There was no other path. He would be changed. And I didn't know why this was so certain. But it had to be connected to Bella's changing. It was all connected. Bella coming here. Jacob getting ill. Changing Bella. And changing Jacob. But something was wrong. Jacob wasn't at Bella's wedding. Jacob wasn't with us when Bella was a vampire. Something happened to him, something to make him leave us. And I didn't know what yet. So I couldn't tell her. How could I tell Bella that yes we would change Jacob, but that it wouldn't keep him in her life?

"Yes I've seen him as a vampire. But I've seen him not as well." So I lied. I told her that it was the usual. Everyone had a choice and I didn't know what my family would choose yet. But I did know.

I would be for. Rosalie would be against. Jasper would be for. Emmett would be against. The others I couldn't work out. They could change their mind at a seconds notice. We all knew that Carlisle was the vote that we would depend on. Even if everyone else was against changing Jacob, if Carlisle agreed then we would live with it. And honestly, I wanted to. For Bella's sake.

EPOV

Where is she? She was supposed to be back half an hour ago.

"Edward stop pacing. You've been doing that since 4 o clock." I growled at Emmett. Jasper came into the room and immediately I felt a lot calmer.

"Stop it Jasper. What if something has happened to her?"

_Edward, Alice will have kept her safe, if anything actually happened. _

I growled again. To top it all Alice was hiding something from me. And Bella now knew what that was. It was important, I knew it. My head jolted towards the window when I heard a car come up the drive. I could hear Bella and Alice chattering and I sighed in relief. Emmett and Jasper looked smug and I fought the urge to pounce on them.

"Bella!" When she opened the door I rushed to her and brought her into my arms. I breathed in her scent and let it surround me and calm me. She flushed and I ran my fingers along her cheek.

"Hey you," she said, smiling up at me nervously. I kissed her and her lips opened slightly. I broke off.

"Not yet." She sighed but nodded.

"Alice decided to buy me a whole new wardrobe. It's not good. She bought ball gowns and club dresses and heel! I mean come on? When am I ever going to wear them considering I can't dance and I would kill myself if I was in heels?" I smirked thinking of all the places I would take her.

"Oh I can think of a few occasions." She looked up at me.

"On your own head be it. You know how bad I am at dancing." Alice skipped in then, breaking up my time with Bella. I glared at her and she glared back.

"Edward you fancy going to help take in the shopping?" She had her arms piled with bags and my eyes widened. Bella had not been exaggerating.

"Why did you let her buy all this?" I whispered in her ear.

"I wasn't there," she growled angrily, but it was more sexy to my ears.

_Edward please! Just for one minute try and keep your mind clean!_

Jasper did not have it bad. He didn't have the pictures of his brothers and sisters doing it in his head half the night. I gave Bella a quick kiss and went out to Alice's Porsche to bring in the rest. Okay I think Alice may have bankrupted us for good this time. The boot of her car was still completely full. I groaned. Alice.

The rest of the evening passed quickly enough. I was waiting and Alice knew it. I was waiting for her to tell me, but so far my luck hadn't been in it. When I took Bella up to bed however I heard her talk to everyone downstairs.

"Listen, when Bella is asleep we need to talk." But still her mind gave nothing away. I stifled a complaint and instead focused on Bella. She was lying against me, he face in the crook of my neck. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled. Pleasure and pain at the same time. She fell asleep almost immediately and once again I wished for at least one glimpse into her mind. It would make things so much easier.

I carefully rolled away from her, making sure I didn't disturb her and I walked down stairs. The rest of the family were already seated at our large, rarely used, dining room table. I sat next to Alice and she gave me a small smile.

"So Alice, what is this about?" Carlisle asked.

"It's about Bella." I nodded. I knew that much already.

"And Jacob." I couldn't help myself. I stood up and growled, my hands crushing the edge of the table.

"Edward sit down!" Carlisle said sharply.

_Geez Edward, it's not what you think!_

_Edward the table! _

"So what is it about then?" I snarled at Alice.

_Give me a chance Edward._

"Well today I had a vision. Of Jacob. Like us." The silence that followed after Alice's words was deafening. Everyone was in shock. I couldn't hear anything even if I had wanted to. _I_ was in shock too. I had not expected this. I didnt know how I felt. It would make Bella happy but would cause so much problems. Jacob? As a vampire? All of a sudden, everyone's thoughts were shouting in my head.

_What the hell? Bella better not ask us to change him. That BITCH! _

_What? Bella couldn't ask us that! She must realise what this means!_

_Poor Bella! To think she is driven to this choice!_

_It's a bad idea. But I can't say no to Bella. Her life was ruined because of me, I will try to do anything to make her happy._

_She's been through so much. How can I do this though? It would no doubt rip apart my family._

_Edward! I think we should change him._

"I talked to Bella today. She wanted to ask, but she realised how it would tear apart this family, but she said she couldn't live with herself if she didn't ask. So I agreed to bring it up tonight."

"Carlisle you cannot actually be seriously considering this?" Rosalie spoke up to voice her opinions.

_This is the most selfish thing I have ever heard! Does she know what this will do to my family! No, she just wants to make herself happy! Even if it means everyone else is miserable._

"Rosalie stop it now. Just because you have a problem with Bella does not mean you have to voice your evil opinions about her in your head when I am around." I couldn't stand my Bella being condemned upon everything else.

"Carlisle we can't do this. Think of what it will do! I love Bella; she's like a sister already! But this is too much."

"But think about it Emmett, we would be changing Bella soon anyway. It makes sense to move somewhere more remote sooner rather than later."

"Carlisle come on! I can't believe you are actually considering this!"

"Rosalie Bella is family. I have to consider the pros and cons. Jasper what do you think?"

_I think we should do it Edward. It makes sense. And it will make Bella happy._

"I think we should." Another round of complaints rose up in my head.

_Jasper get a fucking grip! We are NOT changing him! _

_Man this is messed up. But I agree with Rose Edward. It's a bad idea. _

"If it makes Bella happy, then I'm all for it."

"Jasper, be serious." He turned to Rosalie and growled.

"She is as much family as you are. You asked to change Emmett and Carlisle did. Why shouldn't Bella be allowed to change her friend?"

"It was different. We still don't know if Edward will actually change her though! And he isn't even her mate!" she hissed.

"Oh it's certain that Bella will be changed." Alice spoke up in her tinkling voice, slightly amused by the whole proceedings.

_And by the end of November as well._

"What? B...but it's August! No!" Alice just smiled while the rest of the family looked on in confusion.

_I know. But if you want the wedding when she is changed, you'll have to change her by November. That means we can have the wedding next spring. I have it planned Edward. _

I guess I always knew that my marrying Bella, it meant she would have to be changed. I just never really thought that hard. But I was. I was damning Bella. And only because she wanted it I tried to tell myself but it wouldn't get through. I was taking her soul. I would watch her die. And I would die again with her.

"Care to explain Alice?" She just shook her head.

"In a minute." Carlisle shook his head.

_I don't know what to do Edward. _

"Esme do you want to voice your opinion?"

"I think we should. Poor Bella has been through so much because of us! It's the least we can do."

"Oh. My. God. We are NOT changing him!" Rosalie stood up and slammed her hand down. I stood up and faced her growling.

_We are not changing him. And I am going to tell Bella NOW!_

She started walking towards the door but I leaped across the table and slammed into her. We flew across the room, into the opposite wall, causing it to crack.

"Don't you dare Rosalie." I was snarling so much I could barely speak.

_Edward get off her._

_Edward man, you better get your hands off her before I throw you across the room. _

_Edward back off! Nothing is going to happen._

I let go of her and growled one more time to warn her. I sat back down and Carlisle turned to Rosalie.

"Rosalie sit down. We've heard your opinion now please be quiet. Alice I think we all know what you think." She nodded and stood up.

"I think we should change him. But I think you should know something. When I had the vision of Jacob as a vampire, I looked into the future. But I couldn't see him in our lives any later than November. When Bella gets changed. He's not at her wedding or any other date after Bella is changed. Something happens that forces Jacob from our lives and I don't know what." Everytime she mentioned Bella being changed my dead heart twinged and pain shot through me at the thought. She would go through so much pain.

"You say this like you know he is going to be changed," Rosalie spat.

"That's the other thing. I can't see any other possible future. It's like Bella getting changed. It's the only possibility. It's definitely going to happen and nothing can stop it. I don't understand why though. All of this, Bella coming here, Jacob getting ill, Changing Bella and changing Jacob, it's all connected. I think it's leading to one end. And I don't know what that is. But I don't think it's good. I think that whatever makes us change Bella at that time will get rid of Jacob."

"There! We can't change him! It's too dangerous!"

"But Rosalie, things were set in motion when Jacob got ill. It's all leading to this. We can't stop it anymore. We just have to wait and see what will happen." Carlisle looked at Alice.

"Do you have any idea at all, what it could be leading to?"

"I don't know. Now with Victoria and Laurent out of the way, I don't have a clue."

"Why can't you see what will happen?"

"You remember when I talked to you, before Bella came?" Carlisle nodded.

"I think it's the same thing. Whatever will cause Bella to be changed hasn't been decided yet. This thing, doesn't know what it will do. Yet at least."

"What can we do?"

"Nothing. Even with me telling you this, I still see us changing Jacob. Which will make the events continue."

"So why can't we just not change him?" Rosalie's tone was much softer and echoed others thoughts.

_I don't understand. Why can't we just not change him? Then these things wouldn't happen. Geez it's not difficult if you think about it._

I tried not to roll my eyes at Emmett's literal thinking. But Alice answered with the one word that everyone couldn't ignore.

"Bella," she said simply. "That is why we have to change him. You saw her yesterday, her grief, and that was just knowing that he would die. Imagine that multiplied by 10 and everyday for a year. Do you think you could live with that? Do you think you could see someone you love in so much pain?" Carlisle sighed.

"You are positive there are no other ways Alice? That we must change Jacob?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Let me talk to Bella tomorrow. We will change him a month from now. We need to get a new place ready, in Canada perhaps? Esme do you think you can do that? And Alice, keep looking for what will happen. We need to avoid it somehow. Rosalie try and live with this okay? And Edward." When it came to me he froze. He didn't know what to say.

_Start preparing yourself to watch her die. You need all the time you can get. I'm so sorry son. But it will be worth it in the end. I know it.

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_

_**So please review! reviews make me smile! (and update faster)**_

_**also go check out my other story'give me a reason to live'. I really like it! anyway review  
**_


	16. Author Note

**Author Note!**

**Voting for the Twilight Awards For Me started yesterday!**

**Second Chance is nominated for the Freshie Award.**

**Please go over there and vote!**

**http://twilightawardsforme(dot)webs(dot)com/**

**There is some other amazing stories in the other categories as well!  
**

**Sorry this isnt an actual chapter!**

**I will delete this before posting next chapter!  
**


	17. Hope Comes Back

**So, long time no see! Sorry I had major writing block on this story and all my mind thought about was my other story! this just a filler chapter, and I'm not sure about it. anyway please review!  
**

**I dont own anything twilight! **

* * *

BPOV

"Morning beautiful." I looked up at Edward through my lashes. He was smiling down at me and I smiled back nervously.

"Charlie will arrive later today. Alice is going to lend him and Billy one of our cars so they don't need to use public transport. She'll take you to meet them and then take you to the hotel and hospital. I'll come pick you two up later tonight."

"Can't you please come with me?" I looked up at him, pleading. I would get so much more upset when he wasn't there. Edward kept me whole.

"Edward, you keep me together. I need you there. Please?" He sighed and nodded reluctantly. I ran my fingers around the dark circles under his eyes.

"You need to hunt." He nodded again.

"I was going to go tonight." My heart fluttered at the thought of him leaving but I managed to keep my face calm.

"Good." He examined my face for a moment before speaking up again.

"I want to talk to you about last night." I frowned.

"What happened last night?" I asked him, confused.

"We had a big discussion, about...Jacob." Oh crap. No, no, no. She actually asked. I can't believe it. He's going to hate me. No, no, no! Get away Bella. You don't want to hear him. I couldn't even go red. I was over that level of embarrassment. I was feeling so, so guilty and it was tearing a whole in my chest. I don't even want to think about what Alice has said.

I stood up and backed away from him.

"Bella?" He reached out to touch me but I shook my head.

"I'm so sorry Edward," and then I ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I hit my head against the door and groaned. Why, why, why? Why did I even admit anything to Alice? It was a lose-lose situation. I would have felt horrendously guilty if I hadn't asked, but now I felt awful because I had asked. It was selfish. Ugh, that's not even a strong enough word. How could I even face them now they knew what I wanted? The answer was I **couldn't**.

"Bella? Why are you hiding in the bathroom?" Edward's voice broke me from my reverie and I jumped.

"Because," I moaned. I put my face in my hands and it was only then that I realised I was crying. Again.

"Bella I'm not angry." I scoffed at that. He had to me. I would be if I was him. And I'd be hurt and upset at me too.

"Bella please come out." No. I couldn't face him.

"No."

"Bella, stop being silly. Why won't you come out?" I stayed silent.

"Bella, please tell me why." His voice was close now and I turned around, stupidly considering I wouldn't be able to see him due to a door in the way.

"Bella, please." He whispered quietly. And that broke me.

"Because I can't face you okay?" I burst out annoyed. He was silent on the other side and I could just picture him thinking and sighing and rolling his eyes.

"Bella, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You were asking to save your friend's life."

"Except I wasn't asking that was I Edward? No, to you I was asking to damn him to existence. Oh God, you must think I'm so dreadful." I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the door.

"Bella, can you come out please. I need to tell you something." The tone in his voice was what made me curious. I opened the door cautiously and like I suspected he was right outside. He picked me up and sat me on his knee, cradling me against him on the bed.

"Bella, last night I did a lot of thinking. About changing you." I turned to him, completely shocked at this revelation. To my surprise he was smiling at me. He never smiled when he talked about this.

"My family talked to me, Esme and Alice especially. And they tried to convince me that I wasn't damning you. I was just doing what you wanted and I'd be able to keep you with me forever. When I heard that you wanted to change Jacob it made me realise that you really wanted this. If you didn't you wouldn't have even thought about this life for Jacob. I admit it's hard to try and smile about it, but I'll get there. I promise I will change you Bella." There was something he was hiding from me, even I could see that but I didn't ask. He'd already said so much. I sat up properly and ran my hand down his cheek.

"I love you Edward." Instead of softening like he usually did, his eyes grew hard and he sat as still as a stone.

"Edward what's wrong?" He closed his eyes and when he opened them again his previous pain was hidden.

"Nothing is wrong Bella." I got myself out of his arms and sat away from him, my arms folded.

"Tell me what's wrong Edward. No secrets." He sighed and shook his head.

"Please Edward? I can't fix it, if I don't know what is wrong." He searched my eyes and saw my determination.

"You are way too stubborn Bella." But he took my hand and lay down, pulling me with him. He looked at me, showing no emotion in his eyes.

"Last night and the night before, you said something, in your sleep." I groaned.

"How bad?" he smiled at me slightly before going back to the emotionless face.

"You said that you...that you...loved Jacob." He spat the last two words out and then hid his face. Wow. Edward Cullen was jealous and before I could stop it, I was laughing hysterically. Edward frowned at me.

"I'm glad you think my pain is amusing," he told me. I tried to stop laughing.

"Sorry Edward, it's just..." I burst into another fit of giggles and he growled at me. He looked up at me, his face fierce. And then he pounced. I bounced across the bed as Edward sheltered me from getting properly hurt. The bed crashed into the wall and I heard a loud crack as Edward looked up.

"Oops." I giggled again.

"Sorry," I said when I stopped laughing. "It's just, oh Edward, of course I love Jacob." Edward frowned and his eyes grew dark. "As a brother you idiot! I love him like I love Jasper! He's like a brother to me. Even when we were going out, my feelings were never fully there. It was always you." He smiled at me, happier now he's gotten it off his chest.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too." And then he kissed me. I could feel myself getting carried away and I was struggling to breathe. I opened my mouth and again, Edward took it further. I moaned and my hips rose to meet his, unconsciously. He stiffened and my eyes opened, apology in them. He grinned at me and then rolled his hips back into my mine. I gasped and he was off of me in a second. It was my turn to roll my eyes now.

"It was a good gasp Edward."

"Oh." I blinked and he was on top of me again. He smiled lazily and pressed his lips to mine.

"BELLLLLLLLLLLAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"ALICE! GET OUT!" I yelled while Edward just groaned and rolled to the side of me. Alice looked at me and pouted.

"B...but Bella, I need to get you dressed! Carlisle wants to talk you before he leaves." That brought back the whole Jacob thing and I cringed.

"Alice, I don't want to go downstairs. I can't! You have to understand that!" Alice glared at me.

"Fine, I'll just get everyone to come up here and see you and Edward making out." I growled at her.

"Fine." I threw myself out of bed and managed to trip. I managed to grab hold of the bed post so I stayed upright, at least this time. Edward snickered and I turned glared at him too.

"She's your sister! Control her!" I stomped my way into the bathroom and Alice, laughing, tossed some clothes in after me. I slammed the door and climbed into the shower. Another day where I was left completely unsatisfied and all because of that stupid pixie. I growled under my breath again but I heard Edward laughing loudly so I guessed he heard me. The warm water relaxed me and gradually my anger at Alice dissipated. I managed to wash my hair without getting my cast wet. I was beginning to get used to it but it would still be ages no doubt until I could get it off. I climbed out the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I looked over the clothes that Alice had given me.

"Alice! NO WAY! GIVE ME SOME REAL CLOTHES!" I heard her grumbling and then she knocked on the door. I opened it and smiled when I saw a pair of jeans and a short sleeved blue top. She glared at me and I rolled my eyes and closed the door on her.

When I walked out Edward was alone in the room. I put Alice's other clothes choice away. Edward came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella you look so, so beautiful." I blushed and he smiled against my neck, inhaling. "And you smell so good too."

"Good enough to eat I'll bet," I said grinning. He turned me round to grin at me.

"You are so amazing Bella." He kissed me and I felt my knees get weak. Edward tilted his head backwards and chuckled slightly. I blushed again.

"Sorry," I murmured. Why was I the one that was always embarrassed?

"Come on, let's get you fed." My brain immediately fought to stay upstairs.

"No! I'm not going downstairs." I fought against him but I couldn't break his grip.

"Bella, it'll be fine. No one thinks any less of you."

"Well I think less of me." I continued to fight against him. He sighed and picked me up off the floor and flung me gently over his shoulder.

"Edward! Put me down! NOW!" I hit his back but by then I was downstairs in the kitchen. He put me down and I ran the opposite way immediately. He grabbed hold of me.

"Bella, look. There is no one in here." I looked around and sure enough the room was empty.

"Oh." He walked around the kitchen.

"What would you like to eat?"

"Um, I don't mind. Just whatever." He frowned at me.

"Bella." I shrugged my shoulders and then my eyes lit up.

"How about some eggs?" He laughed at me but obligingly got out the various things.

"Edward you don't need to do this. I'll do it!" His eyes narrowed as he looked at me.

"I want to do it. Sit down." I could see I couldn't fight him so I sat down and watched him cook. He rolled the sleeves of his shirt up and my heart fluttered at the sight. He looked so, so, sexy. He looked sideways at me and winked. My heart jumped and he laughed again.

"You know it's rude to stare?" I blushed but didn't look away.

"Not when the sight is so good." It was Edward's turn to look away embarrassed now.

"I can assure you the sight is not that great."

"You have no idea." He turned and smiled crookedly at me and my heart stopped for a couple of beats while I stared at him.

"Breathe Bella," he reminded me. I took a shaky breath and he chuckled again. He turned back to the eggs and I was able to continue with my staring.

"Where is everyone else?" Not that I wasn't glad that they weren't there.

"In the living room. Esme is fixing the wall."

"Do I want to know what happened?" He chuckled darkly.

"I jumped Rosalie."

"You did _what_? Do you want her to hate me more?"

"Bella, she doesn't hate you more." I scoffed. He looked at my face and smirked.

"I think I'll need her to fix the wall in our room too." I couldn't stop the smile that filled my face. He smiled back and then was in front of me, eggs in hand. I blinked a couple of times, disorientated.

"I will never get used to that," I muttered. He grinned at me.

"Eat Bella." I picked up the spoon and eagerly ate the eggs.

"These are good." He smiled at me but didn't say anything.

"Bella, how are you this morning?" Carlisle walked into the room and smiled at me. I looked at the ground, my jaw tensed.

"I'm fine."

"Could I please talk to you in my office?"

"Can Edward come too?" Carlisle looked at Edward and they had a silent conversation while I watched with my eyes narrowed.

"Sure Bella, come on." Edward held my hand and I gripped onto it for dear life. I didn't even know what Carlisle was going to say to me. Edward sat me on his knee in Carlisle's large office. There were pictures on all the walls and I recognised a few of them.

"First things first Bella," Carlisle said, sitting in the seat opposite us. "How is your arm today?"

"It's okay. It's awkward. Is there any way I can get a smaller cast on it?"

"Give it a week or so with that one and then I'll get a smaller one on. You'll hopefully be able to get it off in 6 weeks." I nodded.

"And how about your head? Is it hurting at all?"

"No not really."

"Not really?" Edward asked, running his cool fingers over the bump on my head and cooling the heat that constantly came from it.

"I mean _not really_. It's not sore unless I like shake my head or like bang it or something." He nodded.

"That's good. It's healing. I'll check it in a couple of days. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about our discussion we had last night about Jacob." At his words I turned away and hid my face in Edward's shirt.

"I'm sorry. Just ignore it. I only wanted to ask, it doesn't matter. I knew it was extremely unlikely. I'm sorry for even asking." Edward started rubbing my back soothingly.

"Bella, I know and you are not at all wrong for asking. Rosalie asked for me to change Emmett. She was in a similar position to you. Anyway we came to a decision." I squeezed me my eyes shut and closed my mind. Don't listen to the words, don't listen, don't listen. You cannot lose hope Bella. Stay strong. Do not lose yourself in front of Edward.

"We're going to change him in a month." My head shot up and I stared at him in shock.

"What?" I whispered.

"We agreed to change him."

"But...but why would you do that? Why would you do that for me?"

"Bella, you are our family. We help our family. But this means we are getting another house ready somewhere remote. I'm not sure what Jacob's reaction to you will be as a newborn, but hopefully the fact that he loves you will keep him from attacking until we can get him away to feed." I nodded, still in shock. Jacob was going to be okay. He would live. And then I smiled. I threw my arms around Edward's neck and squealed like Alice.

"Thanks you so much!" Carlisle smiled at me.

"You're welcome Bella. You are my family and if this makes you happy, then I will do this." I nodded, tears coming into my eyes.

"Thank you."

"Come on Bella, let's go." He wiped away my tears and smiled. I smiled back. He was far too good for me. I did not deserve him, not at all. We went downstairs and Alice came out of the living room.

"Charlie phoned last night to say there flight was changing to this morning so we'll leave in 10 minutes okay?" She patted my shoulder as she left the room. Jasper smiled at me and I relaxed. I hadn't even known I was tense. I smiled brightly round the room. Rosalie glared at me before turning around completely to look away from me. Edward growled and Rosalie sneered.

"Grow up Edward." He growled again.

"What? Can't take the truth? She is ruining our life!" And with a smug smile at me, she stormed from the room. My face fell and I sank into the sofa, my previous discomfort back.

"I'm so sorry," I told the rest of the room.

"Bella, don't be!" I looked up and Jasper was right in front of me. "Rosalie is just Rosalie. Don't worry about her. We're just glad that you will be happy. That's all we want." I didn't believe him but I nodded anyway. He frowned, obviously seeing through me.

"Bella, believe me okay?" I nodded again and curled up into Edward. He wrapped his arms around me and tried to cheer me up.

"So Bella, what do you think Charlie will say when he sees me?" I laughed. This had crossed my mind. A lot.

"I think he's going to shoot you."

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**So Charlie and Billy are coming next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one. I know Bella's behaviour might seem strange, but if I had asked something like that, I wouldnt want to face anyone. Anyway please review! **

**Also The Twilight Awards For Me finish voting today, so please go over and show some love! lol  
**


	18. Blame

**Hey, so I am finally getting back into this story. I will hopefully be able to update every Sunday! My other story goes out on Friday's. I hope you enjoy! I kinda liked writing this chap, you'll see why!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters. **

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I was still thinking about what Charlie's reaction to Edward would be when we left to drive to the airport. Edward soothingly rubbed his cool fingers over my hand. On top of that, Jasper was keeping me calm so it was impossible to feel even the slightest bit worried about what Charlie would do. But the thought kept nagging me. However, whenever I thought of it, I immediately thought of Jacob, how he could stay alive, how he could be with me forever too. The grin that fell on my face was too hard to stop it. I was struggling to stop a constant squeal coming from my mouth. Edward looked sideways at me and his face lit up when he saw me smiling so much.

There was one thing I was worrying about though. And it all had to do with Edward. I knew Edward was pleased that I was so happy, but I hated to know at would cost it would be to him. His rival, his enemy of sorts, was what I was smiling about. I hated making him upset and even though he hadn't shown any sadness, I could see it lurking behind his every move. Whenever I would mention Jacob, he would tense slightly and his eyes would darken, so minutely that no one else would even have noticed it. I remembered this morning when I had reassured him that Jacob was nothing more than a friend, but I knew he wasn't convinced. I hated upsetting him, just as he hated upsetting me. But despite all the pain I was undoubtedly causing Edward, I could not stop smiling about it and talking about it. It was as if everything I'd ever dreamed of had come true in that second.

"Bella, sweetheart, are you sure you want me here with you? Charlie is not going to take well to me." I looked up in surprise.

"Alice knows what's going to happen?" He nodded.

"But she said it would be worse if I didn't meet him here, but it's up to you." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Of course I want you there Edward. Just, you know, stay out of Charlie's way. Let me deal with him," I said nonchalantly, once again thanking Jasper in my mind for keeping my worries at bay. He raised his hands in defeat.

"Okay." I frowned at him.

"What are you hiding?" He sighed and looked up at Alice who nodded.

"Well, Charlie has some words he would like to say to you, because of me being there, and let's just say I will not let him speak to you like that."

"Edward Cullen, you will stay out of the way. We don't need to give him any more reason to kill you. I can handle myself. Let me do this, I'm not a child!" To be honest, I haven't a clue where that came into my argument but nonetheless, if it made Edward back off...

"Bella, you have no idea what he is going to say. Please, you will thank me for this later." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Edward, I think I can deal with my own father." He narrowed his eyes as well.

"Bella, if you think I can just stand there and see what he does to you—"

"Edward, you will just stand there and watch." He hung his hand in defeat. I pushed his face up and placed my hand against his cool cheek. "But thank you for being so concerned." He grabbed my hand and kissed it before slipping his fingers through mine. He smiled slightly at me, his eyes sad.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"I'm just worried love."

"About what?"

"That Charlie's words might strike some chord in your head and you will believe him." I growled.

"Edward, you listen to me! I am not leaving, and I will not listen to anything Charlie has to say. I choose you. End of, okay?" He nodded, but his eyes were still downcast. My shoulders slumped as I sighed and turned to Jasper.

"Jasper, would you?" Jasper smirked wildly at me and I frowned. But in a second I knew the reason for his smirk.

"Bella, you look so _hot_," Edward murmured. Okay, what? I turned back to Edward in confusion and saw Edward staring at me with lusty eyes. He smashed his lips to mine and I couldn't help but enjoy the kiss. When his hands started running my sides I pushed him away. There were other people here. Stupid Jasper. Did everyone always have to try and embarrass Edward and I?

"Jasper for goodness sake, stop it!" Immediately, the lust factor was drawn away and Edward was once again smiling at me happily, even though he would usually be moping right now. Okay, maybe Jasper could help sometimes.

"Sorry Bella," he said with a huge grin on his face. He couldn't even look forlorn when he was apologizing. I brushed it off quickly. It wasn't like I _minded._

"No problem Edward. Blame your crazy-ass brother." I snuggled into him and watched the scenery fly past as Alice sped on, far too fast. Emmett was following behind in another car so there would be enough room to get everybody to the hospital. Edward's hands stroked my hair gently and he leant forward every so often to kiss my forehead. Soon, I fell into a hazy doze and I could barely hear what everyone was saying.

"Jasper, could you help me? Just hold me back and stuff?"

"Sure Edward," Jasper replied.

"Edward, she'll be fine after a couple of hours," said Alice. Edward snorted.

"Alice, you know as well as I do, that Bella will not be fine. She will just _pretend _to be okay." I sat up at this.

"Edward Cullen, what is going on?" Jasper snickered from the front.

"Wow, Edward wasn't paying attention to Bella!" Edward sighed as he looked at me.

"Charlie." I glared at him.

"Edward, once again, I have already told you, I can handle Charlie." His eyes looked pained when I said this.

"Bella, please, let me handle it?" he pleaded. I shook my head.

"No, Edward. I can take care of myself." I moved across the seat to get further from him and glared out the window. Stupid, over-protective vampires!

"We're here!" Alice's sing-song voice broke me out of my fury. I climbed out of the car and tripped over the edge of the door.

"Damn it!" I kicked the car in annoyance. Ouch! I hopped around for a couple of seconds, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my toe.

"Bella..." Edward reached out to steady me but I stole my arm away.

"I can take care of myself," I growled. I stomped off and Jasper quickly caught up with me, steering me in the opposite direction.

"Wrong way, Bells." He smiled down at me and I gave a half smile back, still in a mood with Edward.

"Bells, he only means well."

"It doesn't look like that to me. Charlie is my father! It cannot be so bad." Jasper sighed but didn't say anything. When we got to the right part of the large airport, I looked up at the screen and saw that Charlie's flight was already in. I stood anxiously waiting. Edward's reaction, despite being exasperating, had worried me slightly. Could it really be that bad?

My eyes widened when people started exiting the gateway. I started hopping about from foot to foot and I heard Jasper laugh quietly.

"Bella, you need to calm down, your heart is racing." Jasper placed a hand on my shoulder and calmed me down. I smiled gratefully at him.

And then Charlie was there. He was pushing Billy in front of him and his face was set in stone. His jaw relaxed when he saw me though.

"Dad!" I said as I ran across to meet him, my arms flinging around his neck, surprising both Charlie and myself. I did not usually show so much emotion towards Charlie.

"Bella, how are you holding up?" I stepped backwards and got a good look at them. They looked terrible. Billy's eyes had dark circles under them and he was thinner. Charlie looked tired as well and his cheeks were more chiselled, as if he's lost weight too.

"I'm okay." I had to remember that they did not know Jacob's future. I knelt down by Billy and took his hand.

"Billy, I am so, so sorry." He looked at me blankly and grunted. My eyes grew wet as I stared at this shell at a man. Is this what Charlie would look like when I was gone? It stopped my heart for a moment as I realized what I was leaving behind. I finally understood Edward's point. I was so, so selfish. I would not be taking my life away, but I would be taking Charlie's life away. Would I be able to live through that?

I stood up again and Charlie hugged me once more.

"What happened to your arm Bella?" I looked sheepishly at it.

"I...um... I kind of tripped." He looked disapprovingly at me. "Dad, I can't help it if I fall." He didn't say anything more about it.

"So where are they then?" And so it starts, I thought.

"Over here." I led Charlie and Billy over to the Cullen's. Alice stepped forward.

"Mr Swan, Mr Black, I am so sorry that you have to be here." She hugged them both and smiled at them with sad eyes. Jasper moved forward and shook their hands, followed by Emmett.

It was only then that Charlie noticed Edward. I watched, horrified, as Charlie turned red, then purple, and slowly blue, as he didn't take a breath.

"Dad, breathe," I whispered.

"Bella, what the hell is he doing here?"

"Dad, leave him alone," I said slowly and quietly, in a much more confident voice than how I felt.

"Bella Swan, are you and he....together?" he spluttered out, his face going red again.

"Yes," I said simply. "And Charlie," I said, making sure he noticed how I changed his name. "You cannot make a scene here so just go to the car." He knew this was the sensible option so Jasper and Alice led him to the car while I stood behind them. Edward was not with me and to be honest I did not need his comments right now. I tried to sidle behind Emmett and over to his Jeep but Charlie caught me.

"Bella get in this car now." I frowned and walked over. Jasper patted me on the head and whispered good luck under his breath before running over to Emmett's Jeep where I finally saw Edward, his eyes black and staring at me. His fists were clenched and I noticed that Emmett had his hands tightly locked around Edward's biceps, as if stopping him from getting to me. His form was shaking slightly and I could tell by Emmett's strained jaw that he was struggling to keep Edward over there. Edward's eyes were like daggers at something behind me and I turned and saw Charlie pointing for me to get in the car. I dragged myself away from Edward's gaze and climbed into the car. Alice was in the driving seat and Billy was already seated in the passenger. Charlie sat next to me and started speaking as soon as the car had started.

"Bella, explain yourself now."

"Explain what? I am an adult. I can do what I want. Edward and I are together. End of."

"Isabella, I cannot believe you. You're leaving Jacob in his state, to go off with an indecent....asshole!" I growled at Charlie.

"Edward is not an asshole. He is the most amazing and loving person I have ever met. And for your information, it was Jacob who broke up with me." That floored him for a couple of seconds.

"Bella, he left you. He. Left. You. Do you know what you were like? You were a zombie. You were half dead. All the time. He'll leave you again."

"He won't."

"And how do you know that?"

"He told me."

"And you believed him?"

"Yes."

"Isabella, you are an ignorant little girl. You are being so stupid. Idiotic! Grow UP!" he yelled at me. It was now that the tears started rolling down my cheeks.

"I am not."

"You are. He does not want you! You heard him tell you that! He will just mess with you again. YOU WILL NOT GO OUT WITH THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

"Charlie, insult me all you want but don't you DARE insult Edward. He is the best man I've ever met!" I shouted in fury, the blood boiling in my veins. I didn't even realize that Alice and Billy were still in the car.

"I will insult him all I want. He is a HORRIBLE person Isabella Swan and I FORBID you to have anything to do with him!" I glared at him, barely able to see through my tear filled eyes.

"I am an adult. And you cannot tell me what to do."

"Isabella, you are going down the wrong route here. I refuse to be around him. Chose either him, or me. I cannot watch you die again inside." I stared at him in shock, the tears continuing to fall. He wanted me to _choose_? But how could I choose anyone but Edward? I took a deep breathe and tried to steady my voice.

"Fine. I choose Edward." And with that, the car screeched to a stop outside the Cullen's house. I ran out and vaguely heard the car take off again, with no one else getting out. My hazy eyes saw the Jeep roll up and I ran up to the car but I never reached it. Edward had me in his arms before I had taken two steps.

"Oh my Bella," he crooned. I felt him lift me inside and we were in our room in a second. He cradled me against him, on our bed. "Bella, please don't cry. It will be okay. I'm so sorry."

"Edward, stop apologizing," I cried out. "Remind me never to go against you again." He kissed my head in response and held me tighter.

"Shhh, Bella, Shhh. Oh god, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"W...why?" I hiccoughed.

"I shouldn't be causing these problems between you and your father. You shouldn't have chosen me." His voice was pained.

"Edward don't say that! I can't lose you!" My sobs intensified and his panic grew.

"Bella, Bella, my love, shhhh. Please stop crying." His fingers brushed away the tears on my face and he kissed each of my eyes. He smiled down at me.

"I love you Bella. Don't listen to Charlie. You are amazing. You are beautiful and sexy and far, far too good for me. You don't know how hard it was for me to just sit in that car and watch you get hurt. Jasper had me pinned against the seat. I hated seeing you walk away. I love you, my gorgeous, _gorgeous_ Bella." I sniffed and smiled slightly at him.

"I love you too Edward. Forever." I buried my head in his chest, inhaling the smell of him. He was too amazing.

"Bella, my angel, we need to go to the hospital. You need to fix it with Charlie. Now are you going to let me handle it this time?" I looked up at him, through my wet lashes and nodded. He brought his head closer to mine and kissed me softly.

"Let's go get you cleaned up sweetheart."

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**So, I love writing fight scenes. We'll have some Charlie/Edward drama next chap. That aught to be interesting. ;)**

**I have an entry in The Exploration of the Senses Contestit's called The Truth Burns. Please go over to Helliex88 's profile and show me some love!**

**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~Helliex88**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	19. What about Charlie?

**I know, it's been ages since I've posted. I hate filler chapters and this had to be one so it was very hard to get down. On top of that,I have a weekend job now as well as classes throughout the week so my writing time has greatly decreased. I also have a couple of oneshots that I really want to get down on paper because they are really annoying my mind. I am so sorry for the lateness. **

**On the other hand, I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from Twilight, I just play with them.  
**

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**BPOV**

By the time we had reached the hospital, I was shaking again. Edward stopped the car but made no move to get out.

I hadn't wanted to let him see me cry, for him to know how much Charlie's words had hurt me.

I felt cool hands grasp mine and I turned my face slowly to Edward.

"Bella, sweetheart, it will be fine, okay? Don't worry, just let me handle it."

"But, Edward! What if he says something h...horrible to you?"

Edward just rolled his eyes at me.

"Bella, I'll be fine. Just don't get involved and I'll be okay. I hate seeing you like this."

I looked at him and he gazed wordlessly back, his eyes full of nothing but love and adoration. I did not deserve him.

I took a deep, calming breath before I spoke.

"Okay, let's go."

He climbed out of the car and opened the door for me. He put an arm around my waist, supporting me as I awkwardly tried to get out without bumping my stupid arm. It seemed so long ago since I had fallen, so long since they had killed Victoria. In reality it was only about a week.

Edward wrapped a protective arm around me and I pressed myself closer against him. We walked slowly to the hospital- or I walked slowly and Edward just followed my lead. If this was even half as bad as the first meeting with Charlie, then I wanted to put this off for as long as possible.

As we neared the hospital, even I heard my heart start beating faster and my breathing fluctuate. Edward rubbed my back soothingly in response and kissed the top of my head.

When we entered the hospital the nurses just waved at us to go on through; we had been here so often. My footsteps grew smaller and smaller as we walked along the corridor to Jacob's room, until it was really just Edward dragging me along.

"Bella, it will be fine. Trust me." He took my hand in his and smiled crookedly at me, making me believe everything he said. I began taking small, nervous steps again. He led me along the corridor and in a matter of seconds we were standing in front of the door to Jacob's room. Edward glanced at me before he knocked on the door. It seemed to echo through my head and the noise sounded much louder in my ears than it should. Edward pushed the door open and we stood in the doorway.

Charlie's eyes narrowed when he saw us and he stood up. I saw Billy and Jacob nervously try and look away from the scene that was about to unfold.

"Bella, I would like to talk to you. And you, Edward." We nodded and we moved out of the way so Charlie could leave the room. Before Charlie could say anything, Edward started talking.

"Chief Swan, we can talk in my father's office. It will give us more privacy." Charlie nodded and Edward led the way to Carlisle's office, which was conveniently empty, still holding onto my hand. The feel of his cool skin against my clammy hand was slowly calming me and comforting me. I had begun to breathe easier and I could feel my body going numb. I would not act like I cared about anything that happened here. I would be aloof. No one would see how much he hurt me.

When we reached the office, Edward held the door for Charlie who stormed in and turned to face us. Unconsciously, I moved closer to Edward who rubbed his thumb over my hand, trying to make me feel better. This time though, it didn't work. Charlie's walk had scared me.

"Bella, I don't know what has gotten into to you." I didn't answer Charlie. I was just in love, how couldn'the see that?

"And you!" Charlie turned to Edward. "If you think you can come back in and steal my daughter from me then you have another thing coming."

"Char-" Edward stopped me speaking by squeezing my hand and I sighed and turned away, looking at anything but Charlie's dissappointed face. Edward started speaking.

"Actually, Chief Swan, I didn't steal her from you. You did that yourself. You made her choose. Do you even know how much that hurt her?"

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, young man."

"I will talk to you like this as long as you continue to hurt Bella. You can say what you like against me, but don't ever let me see you treat Bella like that again. She is worth so much more. I love her, and I cannot bear to have her so upset." Charlie seemed to collapse inwards at this and he slumped down into a chair that was also conveniently placed behind him.

"She_ is_ worth so much more. I just don't want to see you get hurt again, Bella." I crept forward and let go of Edward's hand. I kneeled in front of Charlie and sighed.

"Dad, I won't get hurt again. Edward is amazing. I love him so much. He loves me too."

"But, Bella, he left you."

"You don't know much I regret that," I heard Edward say behind me. I felt cool hands brush against my shoulders and I leaned into one of his hands.

"But he came back. And he saved me. Dad, it was Edward who found me when I broke my arm." Charlie's face shot up.

"Yes, how did that happen exactly?" he asked. I nervously looked up at Edward who nodded for me to tell the story.

"Well, we were waiting at the Cullen's house for Edward to appear, and when we saw each other we both got a bit of a shock. I ran out of the house and stupidly into the woods. I went pretty far and I tripped over, breaking my wrist." I held up arm to emphasize this. "Anyway, Edward, well, he found me, and he carried me all the way back home. He was so worried, Dad. He loves me, he does, and even you have to be able to see that."

Charlie looked between the two of us and then sighed. He waved his hands in defeat.

"I guess you two _are_ suited for each other. I just didn't want to admit it," Charlie said in a gruff voice.

"Really?" My voice was incredulous as my mind tried to understand Charlie's quick turnabout.

"Bella, I know you would never have chosen him over me, unless he was something wonderful. I'm sorry for all that I said. I was...upset. I'm sorry." I bit my lip and looked away. I think that was the most emotional Charlie had ever been with me.

"Uh, right then. Thanks, Dad." I reached out and patted his hand thoughtfully. Hugging wasn't really my thing with Charlie.

"Okay then." He stood up and pointed to the door.

"Well I'm just going to, you know, go see Jacob." Charlie's eyes darkened slightly and I frowned. How would he live through this and my 'death'? Two words summed it up: he wouldn't.

Edward picked me off of the floor and sat me on the chair that Charlie had just vacated. I felt his fingers smoothing over my forehead, trying to crease out the frown lines that were there.

"What are you thinking about, love?" I focused onto Edward and I knew immediately that I couldn't tell him. He had moved on so much, he had actually said that he would change me. I couldn't take that away, I couldn't have us going backwards. I knew how much it had taken for him to get to this point. If I said one thing about being slightly hesitant he would immediately refuse to change me. And I needed to be changed. I couldn't live without him.

I smiled at him.

"Nothing, I'm fine." I saw him frown and he obviously wasn't taken in with my lie but I stood up before he could say anything.

"I want to see Jacob now." He nodded and walked me to the door. He moved away and I turned, my face confused.

"What are you doing?"

"I assumed you would want to go in...by yourself."

I laughed humourlessly.

"Edward, get your butt in there. I'm not going in without you." His lips curved upwards in a smirk.

"Feisty today, aren't you?" He walked back to me and pulled me to him. He ran his lips along my neck and took a deep breath in, inhaling my scent.

"Bella, you smell unbelievable. I love you." I giggled underneath his embrace and I heard a deep purr go through his body. I gaped wildly. He had just _purred. _Actually _purred._ That was such an _amazing_ turn on. I felt my body shiver.

"Um...uh, Ed...Edward. You...you need to st...stop d...doing...that. We're...we're at a...a hospital," I managed to breathily emit. He leaned back and smirked at me.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"Oh I didn't mind," I told him, sincerely.

It was his turn to chuckle at that.

"Bella, I swear you will be the death of me someday." I laughed at his words and I slid my hand backwards and opened the door. I walked into the room, pulling him with me, still giggling like a little girl.

Everyone looked up when they heard me.

Jacob burst out laughing, surprising everyone there. Billy and Charlie looked at him in shock as did I. I hadn't heard Jacob laugh since he had gotten ill, he had barely even spoken.

"Bella," he gasped. "Please don't tell me you and Edward just sneaked off to a cupboard somewhere!" My face blushed scarlet and Charlie started choking.

"NO! Of course not! Jacob!" I yelled. I huffed and sat myself down, crossing my arms and glaring at the figure on the bed. Edward chuckled at my reaction and moved me off the chair and sat down himself before pulling me to him. I glanced over at Charlie but he simply nodded and smiled at me. He was glad that I was happy again, even if it meant I was sitting on a guy's lap in front of him.

"Sorry, Bella. It's just you look like you've just won the lottery." I pouted my lips and grumbled into Edward who just raised his eyebrws at me.

The door opened again and this time Carlisle walked in.

"Jacob, how are you this morning? Billy, Charlie." He nodded to each of them and smiled at us.

"Pain scale?" He directed this question back at Jacob.

"About a 5."

"I'll send the nurse in. Also, I'm very sorry but only two visitors are allowed in at a time." Edward and I immediately stood up.

"I'll come back tonight, Jacob." I went over to the bed and I hugged him. I felt his hands linger slightly on me and he sighed quietly but when I moved away, his smile was back on. I said goodbye to Billy and Charlie and followed Carlisle outside.

"Bella, would you mind if I checked you over, since you're at the hospital now?"

"No, of course not." He led me down the corridor to a very, very white room. My eyes squinted against the glare that the room made against my eyelids.

"Why do hospitals always feel the need to blind their patients?" Edward laughed at me and put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it lovingly.

"Bella, can you come into the light please." I walked forwards to where Carlisle pointed and he pushed my head gently. His fingers examined the cut on the back of my head and he sighed.

"I'm going to clean it again, okay? It might sting a little." I felt him press something cold and wet against my head. It didn't hurt to start with but as time went on, the stinging feeling increased until it felt like it was burning. I kept my mouth shut though. When Carlisle moved the cloth away I took a deep breath of relief. Big mistake.

"It's bleeding again," I said, my voice quiet. I could smell the metallic blood and I felt the room begin to spin. I tried to concentrate on taking deep breaths, but every time I did, it reinforced the smell of blood in my nose.

"Bella, sit down." I felt cool arms push me onto a seat. I felt like I was in a trance. I didn't know what was going on. My head rolled back and I could feel the darkness just out of reach in my vision. And then I heard someone laugh quietly. It brought me out of stupor and I stared in disbelief as Edward smirked at me. I blinked a couple of times then I narrowed my eyes and he grinned even wider.

"We thought we'd lost you Bella," he said in a stupid accent.

"Why did you laugh exactly?"I asked, offended. He laughed again.

"I find it kind of ironic. You being around vampires and wanting to be one yourself, when you faint whenever there is blood around." He snickered again.

"It's not funny," I mumbled. Carlisle handed me a glass of water and I gratefully gulped it down, not caring for the dreadful slurping noises I was making.

"It's time to go home, Bella. We'll watch a film or something until we can come back here." I stood up and wobbled slightly. Edward held me up and I smiled at him as I regained my balance. I walked slowly and steadily to the door, making sure I was okay. I heard Edward sigh.

"Talk about slow," he grumbled under his breath. And then I was in the air.

"Edward! Put me down!" I yelled. He had swung me up over his shoulder and was striding down the hospital corridor.

"Edward!" I laughed. "Stop it! People are looking!" But he didn't stop. He carried on until we were out of the hospital and at his car. He put me down in the seat and buckled my seat belt in for me.

"You know, I'm not a baby," I complained. He didn't reply but instead climbed into the car and started it up. I sighed and relaxed back against the chair, closing my eyes.

In a month, everything was going to change. Jacob would be a vampire. And everyone would think I was dead. Nobody would know what really happened to Bella Swan or Jacob Black. We'd both be one of those tragic death stories you always see in the crappy real life magazines. Charlie was going to be devastated. I didn't know how he was going to cope. He was losing a daughter and someone he loved as much as any son, at the same time. The truth was though, he had already lost me. As soon as I stared at those black eyes of Edward Cullen, back in the biology classroom on the first day of school, I was gone. Of course I was. This was my mate. I smiled at the word. Mate. It was so...so primal. I was his, and _only_ his. I was his, _forever_. And he was mine.

But Charlie needed me and I didn't know how I was going to be able to just leave him and let him think I was dead. How could I hurt him like that? And Renee as well. They both loved me so much and I was going to have to hurt them so badly.

I heard the car crunch to a stop on the gravel outside of the Cullen house but I made no move to leave the car. I was too lost in my thoughts. I heard Edward's door open and close, and then silence. A few minutes later my door opened and a voice I wasn't expecting spoke.

"You want to talk?" I opened my eyes and looked at the person before me.

"Yes. Please." Then the tears I didn't want to fall came running.

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**Any guesses for who Bella is speaking to?? Please review!**


	20. Self Disgust

**Oh my God, what is this??? An update???? WOW! **

**I know, I am more sorry than you'll believe. But as a present, I want to finish this by new year, and I have the next chapter ready to be posted, and the one after almost ready...we've not actually got long left guys, can you believe it?**

**For those who are still reading this, thank you, and I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own.  
**

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BPOV

My eyes opened reluctantly and I stared into the warm, amber eyes of Jasper. He held his arms open and I crawled into them, wrapping myself around him, desperate for any kind of comfort. Jasper soothingly rubbed my back as the tears continued to freely flow my cheeks, staining them with a wet trail. He didn't say anything, just waited for me to calm down. His cool arms provided the same comfort as Edward's, and this seemed to calm me quicker than anything else. I tried to focus on his even breaths, and tried to time myself to breathe with him, hoping that would help me. When I moved back slightly to rub my eyes, he finally spoke again, breaking the disturbing silence that had been left once my cries had stopped.

"Hey, don't cry, Bells, please. Everything will be alright, I promise." Jasper reached up and brushed away my stray tears which had escaped my furious grasp.

I tried to smile slightly, to appease him, but I couldn't move the muscles in my jaw, and if I'm being honest, I'm sure he wouldn't have been fooled. I shook my head instead, dropping my eyes from his gaze, incapable of taking in the amount of concern and comfort he held for me.

"It won't be okay," I whispered, knowing the truth of my words far better than he did. I could sense something in the air; something was going to happen, something awful...and I knew I was unlikely to survive.

"Oh, Bella," he murmured, his voice still calm and undisturbed by erratic tone. "Do you want to talk about what you're so upset about? I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think it is."

I closed my eyes tight again, unwilling to let more tears fall at the pain of having to relive this all again.

"It....it's Charlie." My voice was so quiet I could barely hear it, but with his hearing, I'm sure it was as clear to Jasper as if I'd been speaking normally. "He won't survive...when I'm gone. Not after Jacob... I've seen what Jacob's illness has done to Billy, and he's not even dead yet! How can he survive?" My voice broke on the last sentence and I buried my head back against Jasper's hard chest.

"Charlie's strong, Bella. He'll get through it. And we don't have to do it straight away. We can move away, and you can still visit him for a while....until it happens."

"But, Jasper!" I yelled, willing him with all my strength to understand. "I know this will kill him. You should've seen his face. And I need to do it now. If I hesitate, even for a moment, Edward will stop everything and refuse to change me, and I need him forever. I _need_ to be with him."

I felt Jasper's fingers on my hands, forcing my chin upwards.

"Look at me, Bella," he stated when I tried to struggle away, not wanting to show my tears yet again. But Jasper's clear eyes showed no worry, they were calm, and as his touch on my cheek calmed me, I began to feel drowsy.

"NO!" I suddenly yelled, pushing him away from me. "I don't want to go to sleep. I deserve this; I deserve the pain. I'm a horrible person. I'm going to kill my own father." I hit my hands against my head, trying to beat some of the pain into me. It was my fault; I would kill him, just like Edward had killed me, when he'd left.

I felt Jasper's hands take mine and he held them in his tight grip, cooling down the heat I had gained from my yelling.

"Bella, we have all had to go through something like this, Rosalie especially. We have all struggled with leaving our family, with letting them go. But it will get better, I promise. You'll have all of us to help you through, and Jacob as well. He'll be able to empathise a lot, Bella, once he's one of us."

His words didn't help. Instead, they brought back the painful horror of what I was asking them to do. The moan of disbelief; astonishment; pain was unnatural on my lips and I went limp against Jasper, tears trickling from my eyes again.

"Please, don't. I don't need to think even worse of myself....I don't know how I asked you...it's impossible....don't do it, please.....I'll just have to survive without him...I can't hurt Edward on top of everything...just stop, please...." My voice sounded weak, dead, numb, and Jasper's peaceful presence wasn't helping for once. Yes, it made the pain vanish, but it did nothing for the mind numbing feeling of emptiness that ate away at my heart. I was killing everyone I loved.

I was killing Charlie, for leaving him, for making him think I was dead.

I was killing Edward, by asking to keep Jacob with me.

I was killing Jacob, by loving Edward, and being so enthralled by him that I couldn't make Jake happy.

And I was killing myself, by killing everyone I loved.

Soon, I would just be an empty shell of a person, of a vampire, with no heart left because I'd have murdered everyone around me.

The atmospheric pressure around me hummed, and then changed, and I felt my eyes drift close, and for once, I was grateful for the overwhelming numbness that accompanied the deep sleep that Jasper's presence helped bring about.

*****

My mouth was dry when I woke up, evidently from all the crying I had done previously. I sighed in annoyance and anger at myself, for letting myself go like that, for embarrassing myself in front of Jasper. The room I was in was dark, so I suspected it was night time. I was curled into the side of someone, and I recognised the smell as Edward. He was perfection himself and I still didn't know why he wanted me. I was his little bit of scruff on the side, I knew that, but I also knew that he loved me for some absurd reason, and whatever that reason was, I wasn't going to question it; I needed him to survive.

I didn't open my eyes immediately; I didn't want to hear what he had to say about my talk with Jasper. His hand gently stroked my hair and I smiled against his sculpted chest at the feeling of relaxation that he brought, just by one simple action.

"I love you," I murmured, my voice muffled by his chest. He chuckled.

"I'm glad. I don't know how I'd live if I didn't have you." His reply made my heart stutter and he chuckled again, rolling to face me and pressing his hand against my heart. His eyes were soft and his face lit up in a smile as he concentrated on the beating of my heart, gradually increasing in tempo as his presence around me began to take effect as I woke up more.

"How are you feeling?" he asked cautiously. His eyes grew wary as he tilted his head and waited for my response.

"I feel....." I thought about it for a moment. "Awful," I whispered, deciding to tell him the truth; he wouldn't believe me if I lied anyway. The shame of my actions was creeping back as I grew more awake. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes again, turning away from Edward and shutting out the world.

I guess I knew I was expecting it, but I still gasped when Edward's cool hands reached out and spun me around.

"Please don't ever turn away from me. It hurts more than you'd believe."

I looked away from him; I knew I was hurting him, I was always hurting him, in some way or another.

"I'm sorry. For everything," I muttered. I felt his lips press against my head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. We all have worries, fears, and you are brave enough to do anything to cope with them...that's not a bad thing."

"But...Charlie....Renee...." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. His lips hovered over my jaw, passing back and forth as I waited for a response. But he was making it difficult to focus on getting my point across as his light kisses across my collarbone and jaw distracted me immensely.

"It will hurt, but we'll get through it together. _Us_. We are one, Bella. I will never let you go, and I will help you move on."

I sighed again, unconvinced by his words.

I knew he was wrong; I was a selfish murderer, and deserved to feel the pain that the separation would bring. I'd brought it on myself.

Edward's lips brought me out of my thoughts as his lips brushed over mine, ever so softly. Sharp shocks shot down my spine, and I shivered as his lips pressed harder against mine. My nerves tingled in anticipation for more, for him. Unconsciously, my hands wound into his hair, pressing him harder against me. My lips parted and I let out a breathy gasp, and he groaned in response, moving backwards.

"I love you, my beautiful, beautiful girl."

"I love you too, Edward." And at that moment, as I stared into his eyes, time seemed to stop, and nothing was able to touch me. Being with him felt like everything was fixed.

*****

And so, time did pass. The hours grew into days, the days into weeks. Esme had the house sorted for us to move into. Alice had checked that all would go well, and Charlie...that issue was sorted.....I think. I was going to visit him every two weeks, until it happened, until I was ready.

Jacob was getting worse every day...Carlisle could sense his death in the air..._tomorrow was the day_. Carlisle planned to fly Jacob up, along with Emmett and Rosalie to the new house. The rest of us would stay down here, then fly up on the third day, so I was there when Jacob woke up. Carlisle hoped that my presence might give him some sense of reality more quickly than if he had to explain it all. I knew Edward was worried in case Jacob reacted without thinking to my blood, but he knew there was no point arguing with me.

When I went into the hospital the day before it would happen, he seemed so much worse. His face was ashen, his head held up weakly by the pillows behind him. The heart machine he was connected to beeped the stuttering, slowing of his heart. Charlie was slumped down on his chair; he'd rarely left the room these past weeks. Billy was sitting up in his wheelchair, his eyes dropping, but with intense concentration focused on his son. Jacob coughed a raspy, jolting cough, and Billy's eyes widened, as the heart machine jumped again. I let out a slow breath; it killed me to see him like this, even though I knew it would be okay. I sat down next to Charlie, and Billy's haunted eyes raised to meet mine.

A chill shot down my spine when I looked at him; I never got used to the look he had in his eyes; it was still the one thing keeping me from leaving Charlie.

"Hey, Billy," I said softly, unable to break the silence in the room. Edward stood to the side of the door, merely a shadow just now, compared to the sadness that filled the room.

"Hey, Bella." His voice was gruff, a grating croak that was like nails on a blackboard.

"How is he?" I whispered, my voice quieter than I'd expected.

"He was up a lot of last night. He couldn't stop coughing, and the medication only does a little for his pain now. Unless they give him so much that he stays out of it, but he wants to be awake for his last moments; he told them that last night."

"Oh, Billy. I'm so sorry." What else could I say?

"Billy, I promise you, you'll make it through this. I know seems unlikely right now, but you'll get through this." Edward spoke up from the corner. I looked around, and his eyes were raw with emotion. He walked over to Billy, and knelt down so he was at Billy's height. He placed his hand on his shoulder and I saw the tendons of his arm clench as he tried to comfort Billy. Billy turned to Edward. He tried to smile, but his eyes remained unchanging, dark, lost in the ever-consuming grief.

"Rachel and Rebecca will be here soon, they'll help."

A couple of days ago, we had contacted Jacob's sisters to tell them to come....say their goodbyes. They were arriving later today. Edward, Jasper and I were going to collect them from the airport; their flights surprisingly were arriving at around the same time.

Billy nodded at Edward. "Thank you, Edward. It means a lot that you're here. Thanks for helping keeping Bella...alive through this. I know it's helped Jacob cope. He loves you, Bella." Billy turned back to face me. "I know it may not seem like that, because he let you go, but he still loves you, and he's glad you're happy, despite the circumstances."

I felt my eyes begin to water. How could I ever have believed he'd stopped loving me? Of course he still did. I'd been the one who'd dropped him, he was just the one who was the better person, who'd let me go without a fight, because he knew it would make me happy. I thought back, and I remembered the lingering touches, the too tight hugs, the whispers of breathe in my hair, and then the slight tightening of Edward's face that only I noticed, his reluctance to let me out of his arms when Jacob was awake, the impossibly unhappy look he thought I didn't notice whenever Jacob was brought up back at home.

My thoughts flew back to my conversation with Jasper, something that seemed so long ago, and the words that had haunted my mind all these weeks.

I was killing him. I was single handily killing the person I loved most in the world, because I was selfish, because I couldn't bear to be without something.

I hated myself for it, despised, abhorred, loathed myself for doing this to him. It was at times like those, when I saw how much I was hurting him that had made me come up with the plan for tonight. I had discussed it with Alice, who had obviously known what I was going to do immediately, and she seen that it would be....phenomenal. She had been slightly put off at first, no doubt as she thought it wasn't very traditional, but when she had seen how Edward would react, she had changed her tune completely. She thought of ways to make my plan better, and she had kept Edward from her mind, so until tonight he would have no idea what I was going to do.

There was no point questioning the fact that I was completely terrified, but I knew this would relax both of us, and it would be a welcome relief from the constant depression that loomed over us. Because once this had happened, I would be ready. I was ready to be with Edward in every way I could, and tonight would be the turning point, it would settle me for the future. It would provide the perfect goodbye.

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**AN: Once again, sorry for the insane update fail. But I hoped you liked it....what do you think Bella's plan is??? Any ideas????? I'm excited for it!!! Next chapter we will find out!**


	21. The Question

**You're impressed aren't you? Only 5 days since the last update! Woo! I hope you enjoy!**

**DIsclaimer: I don't own.**

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**BPOV**

Jasper was driving the car whilst Edward sat with his arm around me in the back of the car. After Charlie had woken up, Carlisle had come in to check on Jacob and had taken Billy aside to tell him that he had just a few days left..._or only one...._

Rachel and Rebecca's flights should come in about an hour, but we were heading there early just in case. Edward luckily still didn't know about my plan for tonight. Edward and the boys would go out hunting this afternoon, after having dropped Rachel and Rebecca off here, so they would find it easier when they were with Jacob tomorrow. Alice planned to 'make me over' whilst they were out, so I would be ready for Edward when he came in. It would be the first time I had willingly subjected myself to Alice's chosen form of torture.

Thinking about tonight was giving me goose bumps, and Edward suddenly moved away from me when he saw me shiver. I jumped back to him, squeezing him tightly, and Jasper laughed at my reaction, while Edward just sighed and continued the trail he was making with his hands up and down my back.

I didn't like airports. They reminded me of when I'd run away from Edward, towards my death, to try and save him, and since then, I'd always felt slightly put off by them. But with Edward by my side, and Jasper's calming smirking on my other side, I felt better than I did usually.

Rachel arrived first, and she stopped in complete shock when she saw who was waiting for her. I ran up to her first, trying not to laugh at her reaction.

"Hey, Rachel. I'm Bella, you might remember me..."

She nodded blindly, and her mouth opened and closed like a fish as she unashamedly fixated her gaze on Jasper. I could see a range of emotions plaster across her face; shock, amazement, and finally it settled on lust. She managed to shut her and mouth and she gulped loudly. Not helping matters, Jasper decided to make the situation worse, or better from Rachel's point of view. He ambled over, darkening his eyes until they were sexily smouldering at her, and he smirked his quirky smile that made other girls weak at the knees...which was what happened to Rachel. Her breathing quickened, much like mine did in the presence of Edward.

When Jasper reached her, he continued his burning gaze, and Rachel stopped breathing when he picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. I could see her visibly shake when his lips pressed lightly against the back of her hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Rachel," he murmured, his Southern drawl exaggerated and making Rachel even more of a mess.

"Nice...t...to meet you...t...to," she stuttered out, completely stunned by him.

Edward chuckled lowly, and I had to bury my face in his chest to keep from laughing out loud at the exchange. It was unfair to Rachel, but it had certainly lightened my day. Rebecca was married, so although she was slightly shocked by Edward and Jasper's beauty, her reaction was not so obvious, and she managed to control herself respectively, unlike Rachel who hung off Jasper's every word, like a little puppy.

Jasper threw his arm around her as they walked back to the car, and I saw her swoon in amazement, and this time I couldn't stifle the laugh. Edward quickly covered my mouth, pulling me into his side and wrapping his arms around me.

"Shhhh," he chuckled, lightly, dancing in a circle with me in his arms, his eyes light with the same amusement I felt. He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, desperate to keep him with me, regardless of the place.

Pleasure shot through my body and curled downwards, moving to my most sensitive spot.

"Bella, you can assault him later!" Jasper laughed from far away. Edward groaned and reluctantly tore himself away from my grasp. I pouted my lips and Edward suddenly leaned forward and licked my lips. I gasped in shock, at his actions and at the intense jolt of electricity that shot through my body at his action.

"Sorry," he said, grinning his crooked smile. "Your lips just looked so...tempting..."His gaze darkened in memory and I laughed and turned away from him.

I tried to walk sexily, putting one foot in front of the other and trying to move my bottom like those on the runway.

But, of course that wouldn't happen to me. Halfway to the car, I tripped and felt warm arms wrap around me.

"Stop taunting me, you little minx," he whispered darkly in my ear, his cool lips making me shiver in pleasure. He suddenly picked me up, bridal style, and carried me giggling to the car.

"Put me down, Edward!" I smiled up at him, my arms encircled around him, contradicting my own words. When in the car, he kept me on his knee, so Rachel and Rebecca could get their own seats. Rachel of course was riding shotgun and I had to stifle more giggles when Jasper started singing along in his still over exaggerated drawl, purely to entice Rachel, and to make us laugh.

For once, I was glad; it was taking the tension away from what we would have been doing. It was the first time in a while where I had properly laughed, the first time I've smiled completely joyfully since Edward came back. I missed it. Hopefully, after tomorrow, I could be truly happy again, and I would be able to smile more often.

"I love it when you laugh like this, Bella...you look so happy," Edward whispered in my ear. His words made me blush and he sighed in bliss as he rubbed his fingertips across my coloured cheeks.

"I feel happy, the happiest I have done in a while. It's....invigorating...it's such a relief," I whispered in reply. I felt his lips curve into a smile against my skin and it filled me with delight that I could make him so happy....I just hoped that tonight would produce the same reaction.

We first arrived at our house; I was dropped off, as were Rachel and Rebecca's suitcases. Emmett was picked up, and Jasper would then drive to the hospital, drop them off, and pick up Carlisle for a quick hunt before he could get back to Jacob.

Alice was waiting for me when I got inside, brandishing her favourite weapons of mass destruction: hair rollers and mascara.

"Bella! You're back! Come on, we only have two hours until they return, and we have to have you completely ready for Edward." Rosalie came up and picked me up, rushing me up the stairs at vampire speed. _Obviously, Alice had a lot to get done, _I thought sarcastically. No one knew of my plan yet, except for Alice, and we had put up the pretence that we were going dancing. How they'd believed that, I'm not quite sure.

Rose set me down in her bathroom, pushing my head back over the sink and washing my hair quickly. Whilst Rosalie rolled my hair into rollers, Alice moisturized my skin and started pulling and prodding at my face. They blew dry my hair, and when it was done, it curled gently around my face, blowing softly when I moved.

Alice had handed me a pile of clothes and instructed me to change into them. She and Rose exited the room and I was left alone. I put the dark blue dress over the work surface, but something else slipped from the pile in my hands. I gasped in surprise and then annoyance at Alice's audacity. She'd given me underwear, and not just any underwear; the French lacy things that were just a nuisance.

I groaned, and then slipped them on; I mean, anything could help right? And I needed to feel good tonight, just to give me enough confidence to do this....but what if I couldn't?

"Bella," Alice's voice warned from outside. "Don't you dare try and back out now...it's going to go great! Trust me!"

I glared at the door and shrugged on the long blue dress. It trailed along the ground slightly, but when I slipped on Alice's killer heels that she thought I could actually survive in, it fitted better.

I put my hands on my hips and stared at the girl in the mirror.

She was a stranger.

It couldn't be possible.

It was unreal.

The girl was beautiful. Her luscious hair curled perfectly around the soft lines of her oval face. Her skin was pale and creamy; it looked flawless. I leaned forward, trying to find something wrong with her.

Her eyes were dark, but big, making her seem sensual, yet innocent. Her lips were a dark red; they looked plump, kissable even...sexy....

The dress clung to my curves, and the colour was Edward's favourite, and for once I could see why. The contrast between the darkness of the dress and the smooth velvet of my skin was...delectable.

And then I realized it was me.

"No," I whispered to no one in particular. My fingers prodded at my face, trying to check if it was actually me, unable to believe that I could actually look so...beautiful.

I felt like a vampire. Slowly, still stunned, I unlocked the bathroom door and revealed myself to Rose and Alice.

Their faces lit up and Rose let out a low whistle.

"Bella, wow," she simply said, her expression awed. I blushed and Alice clapped happily.

"Now you've got some colour in you, you're perfect. I am brilliant!" Alice exclaimed.

I nodded in agreement; she had managed to turn me from a shy, average looking girl, into a goddess.

However, I still couldn't walk in the shoes. I stumbled out of the bathroom and fell onto the bed. Alice shoved Rose out of the room for a moment, to go distract the guys when she heard their car coming up the drive.

"You okay? Ready for this?" she whispered. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to try and relax my racing heart. It was practically thumping out of my chest. I could hear the pounding of it in the back of ears.

I re-opened then and shakily stood up.

"Sure," I muttered inaudibly. And so, I began the walk to my future.

**EPOV**

I could hear hushed tones from the house, and Alice and Rose were somehow blocking me from their minds. I frowned; had something happened to Bella?

Even the thought hurt me.

_Edward, mate, calm it. What's wrong?_

Jasper's call of my name caught my attention and I turned to him.

"I don't know. They're hiding something from me."

We began the walk up to the front door together and Rose met us there.

"Emmett!" she hailed, and surprisingly threw her arms around his neck. She pressed her lips against his hungrily, and his thoughts responded immediately.

"Oh, God, Emmett, no! Please," I begged, unable to shield myself from the disgusting images of what he wanted to do to her.

Just then, Alice skipped down the stairs, a huge smile gracing her face. She winked at me, and Rose abruptly stopped her attack on Emmett to go stand next to her, and for once, I think Rose actually squealed. But, their thoughts weren't giving anything away.

I listened closely, and I heard Bella's heartbeat from the room above. It was exceptionally faster than normal and I frowned again, beginning to make my way to the stairs to see if she was okay.

"Edward, wait!" Alice called.

_Trust me on this; don't go up there right now._

Reluctantly, I turned back to my sister.

"Why?" I asked shortly. Her only answer was a sweet, knowing smile.

I heard footsteps upstairs; uncertain, stumbling steps across the floor. I heard the tone of her steps change when she reached the steps. She was breathing quickly and unevenly, quite obviously terrified.

What was going on?

But then I saw her, and nothing else mattered.

I couldn't speak, couldn't think or even see. She blinded me. She was in a dress that floated over her curves in the most beautiful way I'd ever seen. She was an angel. She smiled up hesitantly at me, blushing under my gaze, and I ran over to her. I heard the others leave the room, but all my attention was on her.

"Bella....I...I don't know what to say...you...y...you look...out of this world...I...I...."

She smirked up at me and gently hit my arm.

"I made Edward Cullen speechless, has that ever happened before?" she giggled. I stroked her cheek with the palm of my hand.

"No; that's how much you affect me, Bella." I held her away from me and was once again stunned into silence by how she looked. She was so beautiful, my dead heart almost restarted, beating wildly out of my chest.

I groaned, and Bella's eyes visibly darkened at the sound. I pulled her to me, and crushed my lips to hers, unable to control myself. Her body melted against mine and I had to hold her up, my arms running over the silky skin of her bare back. Our lips moved in sync and the feeling of her hot breath, coming in pants against me, had me coming apart at the seams. My eyes creased, and I moved backwards, unwilling to hurt her anymore.

But Bella had other ideas. She pouted her lips, and just like earlier in the day, I had the incredible urge to lick that bottom lip. I leaned forward, and slipped my tongue out, running it along it.

"Ugnn, Bella....you taste mouth-watering," I moaned. Being careful not to let my teeth graze her lip, I took her lip within mine, and sucked on it gently, tugging on it lightly.

Bella whimpered in response, and clutched at me tighter. Breathlessly, she backed away.

"We have a place to be...come on..." She backed away slightly, and tried to fix her hair. Her lips were swollen and I couldn't help but plant another quick kiss on them. She giggled and pushed me away.

"There's clothes in our room for you to change into. Go."

I ran up the stairs and changed quickly into a dark blue tux, that would go perfectly with Bella's dress. When I came down Alice was back and she smirked up at me.

"Have a nice time!" she laughed, handing Bella her coat, and the keys to my Aston. She winked at me before we headed out to the garage. Bella climbed into the driver seat, slipping off her heels.

"Bella, I'm driving."

"No, you're not. You don't know where to go, now just get in," she replied, powerless to keep the smile off her face. To highlight her point she raised her finger and motioned for me to go sit down.

"Fine," I agreed rather reluctantly. I climbed in beside her and immediately, my hands were on her, running up and down her leg. She tensed at first, inhaling quickly, and her heart beat increased.

"Subject's heart rate quickened on contact," I muttered, looking up at her through my eyelashes. She turned to glare at me and then laughed when she saw me. She seemed so free today, so relaxed....so happy.

It was something I needed to see everyday.

"So, are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Wait and see."

"Please?" I asked, but she just shook her head. I sighed in defeat and settled to watching her as she drove. When she bit her lip, I had to stifle a groan, but I think she might have heard me anyway, since she turned and a small smile crept onto her face, along with a blush.

About 15 minutes into our journey, we began to slow, and we stopped in front of an expensive looking hotel. I climbed out, and opened Bella's door for her, helping her out, and keeping a protective arm around her. A valet came out and Bella threw the keys at him. I saw him stop in shock when Bella walked into the light, and I growled lowly at him, my eyes turning threatening as his thoughts turned less than pure.

He averted his eyes and I quickly walked Bella into the foyer of the hotel. She took the lead then, going up to reception.

"I have a booking under Cullen."

I jolted slightly at the thought of her using my name, of being my wife. Truth be told, I longed for the day she would be mine. I carried a ring with me, just in case the moment happened, when I thought I could ask her...I wanted it to be perfect.

"Certainly, Mrs and Mr Cullen, follow me." This time it was her time to jolt and her heart rate increased again, and didn't slow for some reason as we followed after the woman.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. She nodded, but when she smiled, it didn't quite reach her eyes. The woman led us to an ornate door, and opened it, motioning for us to enter. She closed it behind us and I stopped, speechless again.

"Bella...this is amazing..." I murmured. There was a small table in the middle of a large hall. It was decorated simply, but beautifully. There was music playing softly in the background and I recognised it as Debussy.

"Yeah, I know you can't eat, but I...uh...kind of have to." I lifted her hand to my mouth and pressed a kiss there.

"I love you," I told her and now it was my time to lead _her_ across to the table. I pulled back her chair and she sat down, thanking me. I smiled and sat across from her, watching in delight, and lust, as she once again bit her lip whilst trying to decide what to eat. She lowered the menu and caught me gazing at her, and blushed a deep shade of red. I chuckled and pressed my palm against her heated cheek, ignoring the slight burn that was present in my throat. A waiter came from the door to our left and he took our order but left quickly.

"Thank you for doing this, Bella," I whispered. She smiled at me.

"No problem. I...just wanted to be with you, before everything changes. I want to show you what forever might be like."

Those were our last spoken words until the food came. We just gazed at each other, our eyes speaking more than I'd thought possible. I fed her, my body filling with desire as her full lips wrapped around the fork and pulled the food off. When she'd finished, she finally returned her gaze to mine and she blushed again under the intensity that I looked at her with.

"Would you like to dance, my love?"

She laughed at me. "Edward, I can't dance."

"I'll have you a pro by the end of the night." I stood up and offered her my hand. We walked into a space and I twirled her around, causing her to stumble against my chest. I snorted and kept her in my arms. One hand rested on her bare, lower back, and it wasn't exactly helping my concentration. The other, I moved along her arm and interlocked our hands together. I gently took a step and she hesitantly followed, her grip tightening on me.

"Bella, loosen up, relax...."

"That's kind of hard right now..." she muttered under her breath.

"How come?" I asked. "It's just us...relax..." I pressed my lips against the hollow below her ear, the wetness of my lips making her shiver.

"It doesn't matter..." she murmured, sighing into my embrace. I frowned, stopping my movement across the floor. She sighed loudly.

"I...I planned this tonight, because we need to talk...or I need to talk."

"Go on," I said cautiously.

"I love you, Edward...and I will love you forever...which is why I want something that...that would mean forever...oh God, this isn't coming out right." She wiped her hand over her forehead and I pressed my palm against her chest.

"Bella, are you sure you're alright? You're heart is beating out of control."

She nodded.

"I'm fine...it's just....I wanted this to be perfect, and it's not, and I'm sorry, so I'm just going to say it okay? Please don't try and spare my feelings or anything, just answer truthfully and I'll be fine with whatever you say-well I won't be fine, but I'll live and I know it's stupid, and I know you don't want this, but I have to ask because I want you forever and this way I can have it, in a more formal way and I can say bye to Charlie and Renee and-and-"

"Take a breath, Bella, you'll pass out," I murmured, still having not a clue what she was talking about.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is...Edward, w...will you marry me?"

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**AN: AHHHHH!! It's not traditional, I know, that's the point...there isn't anything traditional about these pair! I just mess it up some more....so what do you think??? What will Edward say???**

**Oh and yeah, as you could probably tell, the Jasper/ Rachel funness was ALL for me! LOL!  
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	22. Finished

**hey guys! I have almost finished this story. I have one and a half chapters left to write and then its finished! woop!**

**I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own.  
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BPOV

I'd done it. I'd taken the step and asked him. _And he wasn't answering._

Edward just stood there, his eyes wide and as still as stone.

"Edward?" I asked quietly. I stepped out of his grip and my heart started racing again. I tried to breathe so I could think clearly, but all I could think of was how he was refusing to answer; it was his way of saying no.

Edward was saying no; he didn't want to marry me, he didn't want to be with me like that. He didn't want me to be his wife.

My throat tightened and pain ripped through my chest again. I fell to the ground, clutching at my knees, trying to hold myself together, but failing. Tears began to fall freely, and I didn't care that he was still there, I couldn't rein myself in. Never before had I felt like this. Not when he left, not when I thought he didn't love me- nothing could compare to the feeling of hopelessness that was flowing through my veins. It felt like I'd been ripped apart, forever doomed to walk over the earth as half a person; if I didn't have Edward as my husband, as my mate, how could I survive? How would I live if he wasn't by my side fully? Why, why, why? Why would he say no? He loved me, so why? What was so terrible about being my wife? What was so wrong with being bonded to me that way?

I felt someone tugging at me, pulling me apart at the seams and then cool arms were holding me together, stroking my hair, invading all my senses.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," a velvet voice crooned. "Please stop crying, you silly girl, of course I'll marry you. I love you, I love you so much....Yes, yes, yes! Listen to me, Bella!"

My head shot up and Edward was beaming down at me.

"Wait....what?" I whispered.

"Yes, I'll marry you!" he laughed. He picked me up and together, we spun around the room, my legs wrapping around his waist.

"B...but you...you didn't say anything!" I exclaimed, still not capable of understanding this new change of direction he had taken.

"I was shocked! I didn't think you wanted this! It's why I haven't asked you before. Look..." He put me on the ground and I staggered backwards slightly. Edward reached into his pocket, and he pulled out a black velvet box.

"This was my mother's," he murmured. "I've been carrying it around, waiting for the perfect moment, but you beat me to the punch, Bella." He smiled at me. "Can I do this properly?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me. I nodded, still the only thing I was able to do.

_Edward, wanted to marry me...he wanted to marry me....Edward Cullen wanted to marry Bella Swan, me...Bella Cullen........_

Thoughts raced through my head at breakneck speeds, and then he got down on one knee, holding out the ring. It was beautiful. It was a thin silver band with a square cut diamond set in a circle of sapphire's... it wasn't too over the top; it was classic, and absolutely gorgeous.

"Bella, my life wasn't complete until you came into it. I love you and will forever, so please, would you do me the great pleasure of being my wife?" His voice flowed like honey and now the tears were falling in joy.

"Yes, Edward." I fell forward, flinging my arms around his neck and burying my face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you," I sobbed, "Thank you."

*****

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Bella!!!!!!!!! Please can I plan it? !!!!!!" Alice's loud squeal when we re-entered the house almost deafened me. She threw herself at me and Edward had to hold me up so I didn't fall right over.

"Alice-"

"I know, no more than 50 guests, it has to be in Forks and not before your birthday. Okay!"

"Fine, do it, but I get veto on anything I don't want as well."

Alice nodded eagerly and stepped away to reveal the rest of the family grinning at us.

"Congrats, Bells!" Jasper swung me up in his arms and for the second time that night, I was swung around. He squeezed me tightly and put me back down.

"Oi! Let me see my baby sister!" Emmett yelled, pushing Jasper out of the way and gripping me in an enormous bear hug. "Wait till you get to the sex, Bella, you'll be at it like animals," Emmett chortled.

"Emmett, grow up!" I told him, annoyance ringing in my voice. It wouldn't be like that, not until I was a vampire at least.

"Bella, Edward, I am so happy for you." Esme came forward and pulled us both into a hug. "I can't believe this is happening," she whispered. "I love you both so much; congratulations." She released us both and Rose accosted us.

"You better look after her, Edward," she told him fiercely before pulling us both into a hug. "And I am happy for you, regardless of what this choice means. I love you both."

When Rose backed off, I noticed that Carlisle was missing.

"Where's Carlisle?" I pondered aloud.

"He's staying at the hospital tonight. We'll go see him and Charlie in a moment..." Edward whispered in my ear.

"So when's the wedding?" Jasper asked, wrapping his arm around me and hugging me again.

"Before my birthday. I will _not_ be turning 19."

Jasper chuckled at my reaction and squeezed my shoulder. "Just asking, Bells, just asking. You don't need to shoot me." He laughed again.

"Congratulations you guys, we love you both so much," Esme said. Her eyes were shimmering, and I knew she would have been crying had she been human. But her tears were destined to be frozen forever, as mine soon would be. It was something I looked forward to.

"Come on, Bella. We better go face Charlie. Do you think I need to wear a bullet proof vest?" He laughed.

"Yes!" I replied indignantly.

"Joking, beautiful," he whispered.

"I wasn't," I muttered. Edward chuckled under his breath.

"He'll be fine, Bella."

And so we went to seal our deaths.

*****

"Dad?" I whispered, scared to wake him. "Maybe we should just leave?" I said to Edward. I turned around and started to walk out of the room but Edward caught me around the waist.

"Not so fast."

I sighed and turned back around. I walked over to Charlie and shook him gently.

"Dad? Dad, it's Bella." Slowly, Charlie's eyes flickered open.

"Hey, Bella," he answered in a gruff voice. "What are you doing over here so late?"

"Well, Edward and I have some news, and we wanted you to know." He immediately went on the defensive.

"Are you pregnant?" he exclaimed.

"NO! Oops, sorry," I whispered when I saw Jacob move in his sleep. Billy, Rachel and Rebecca were all half asleep at the other side of the room. It was crowded enough normally, but now with Edward and I as well, it was stifling.

"Oh. Well what is it then?"

"Um...." I tried to speak, but my voice caught in my throat and I yanked Edward forward. He placed an arm around me and started to speak calmly to Charlie.

"Charlie, your daughter and I love each other dearly, and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We're going to get married."

Charlie seemed to visibly expand at Edward's words. I watched as his eyes bulged out of his head and his face turned bright red.

"You're....YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?!" He stood up, towering over us. I trembled into Edward's side.

"You're getting married?" a hoarse voice asked. My face went white and I turned, even more terrified that before, to face Jacob. He was struggling to sit up, and Charlie moved over and helped him. He looked so weak, and helpless.

I nodded slowly and went and sat next to him on the bed. I picked up his hand and gently brushed his palm with my thumb.

"I'm so sorry, Jake. I love you, and I'm sorry that isn't enough."

"It's okay, Bella. We'll be okay. I'll be out of here sometime, and you'll be able to be happy."

"But, Jake, you know I won't be happy without you..." _Which is why I'm not letting you go._

I was going to kill Jacob with unhappiness. He would be unhappy with us. He would hate seeing Edward and I so happy. I hated myself, but I couldn't stop myself.

I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and Jake reached up and wiped it away with his fingertip. I heard the door close and I looked up to see Edward leave the room.

I sobbed loudly and stood up, reaching out after him. I stood in the middle of the room, powerless as to know what to do. I was killing them both.

"Go get him, Bella. And tell him he better look after you."Jacob nodded toward the door and I wrenched myself away and fell outside.

"Edward?" I cried. I tripped down the corridor, calling his name and trying to find him. I felt his arms wrap around me, and he picked me up, cradling me to his chest.

"Bella, I hate seeing you like this." Edward's voice was anguished and I hated myself even more.

"I'm so sorry I keep hurting you."

"You're worrying about all the wrong things, my love. Now come on, we need to get you home."

I must have fallen asleep in his arms, for sleep overwhelmed me before we left the hospital.

*****

"Bella?"

"Dad? What's happened?"

"Jake's...g...he's gone, Bella." The silence that filled the air was terrible.

_It had happened. Carlisle had taken him away. And now, I needed to be a Cullen. I needed to act._

"Oh no, Dad...I'm coming over...Give me 15 minutes." I put the phone down and grabbed my coat.

"Edward, we need to go. That was Charlie; Carlisle must have done it." Emmett, Rose and Jasper were all with him, flying to Alaska probably as we spoke.

And so, Alice and Esme joined as. It was our job to close up the mess and to sort everyone out, before we would head up in three days.

*****

It seemed like no time at all until I was on the plane to Alaska. I had tried as much as I could to block out the past few days; I couldn't face the possibility that Charlie would be worse when I left. He had looked so broken, so lifeless, and Jacob wasn't even his son. Billy hadn't moved much. We had taken him back to the hotel, and he just lay in his bed, with his daughters beside him, staring into space. He was going back to La Push today, where Rachel would stay with him.

But now, we were headed to see Jacob, and we would be met with him as a vampire.

I couldn't hold in my excitement. I was bouncing on the plane, and on the car journey up. Edward held my hand on the journey, occasionally kissing the ring on my finger. When he did so, I would beam with pride at wearing part of him; it was like a sign that I was his, that I belonged to him.

"I love you, Edward," I blurted out, leaning into his chest. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.

"I know, my love, I know."

When we reached the house, Carlisle met us at the door. He embraced Esme and turned and embraced Edward and I.

"First, I am so proud and happy for the both of you. I don't believe I got to say congratulations on your engagement."

"Thank you," Edward replied, his voice low.

"Now, Bella, Jacob has about two hours left until he's ready. You have to promise me you'll do whatever myself, or Edward tells you. If that command is run, you must do it, okay?"

I nodded, slightly scared at Carlisle's words. Nothing would happen, Jake wouldn't attack me.

"Thank you, Bella. You're safety is our priority. We don't want to lose you."

"I know, I'll do whatever you say, I promise."

"Good, now would you like to have a look at the house? Jasper and Emmett can give you a tour, whilst I go check on Jacob. Rose has been very helpful; she's been helping him, and trying to explain what's happened to him. You'll need to thank her."

I nodded, and he left the room. I wondered why Rose was so helpful? She hadn't shown any feeling for Jake before, but maybe she realized how lonely it could feel?

I sighed, and Edward pulled me closer to him. I inhaled his aroma, and relaxed almost instantly.

"Come on, you guys!" Emmett yelled, and Edward led me after him.

Alice was attached to Jasper's side, and they were in front of us as Edward led us, and Esme, through the house.

"This is the kitchen, this is mine and Rose's room, this is your room, Alice, and this is your sex chamber, Eddie—"

Edward growled deeply and Emmett gave him the finger over his shoulder, laughing. We quickly finished the tour, and by that time, I was buzzing with impatience to see Jacob.

"Edward, can I see him yet?"

I noticed that his eyes darkened slightly, but he nodded, and motioned to the room where he was.

And like the selfish girl I was, I asked him to come with me. I knew it would hurt me to see Jacob in pain, and I knew that would hurt Edward more. But I had to see Jacob, and I _needed_ Edward there.

And like the dutiful, amazing person he was, he nodded and smiled at me, though his eyes were careful and blank. He followed me through to the room. I gasped when I saw Jacob lying on the bed. He was gripping the blanket, his back rising off the bed in pain. I fled to his side and grasped his hand. It was burning.

"Jacob? Can you hear me? Jake, it's Bella..." I silently cried as his face twisted and quiet screams fell from his lips. Edward's hands massaged my shoulders, relaxing them, and comforting me, probably more than he would ever know.

"Has he spoken at all? Does he understand what Rose told him?"

"No. He hasn't been...awake enough for that. I'm sorry," he apologised in my ear.

"What are you apologising for?!" I exclaimed loudly, jumping up, dropping Jacob's hand.

"For this not being perfect for you and him." His voice was bitter when he spoke and my mouth fell open; this was the first time I'd ever seen the complete truth of his resentment of my relationship with Jacob.

"Edward....sweetheart....I...I don't know what to say...I'm so sorry....But it's not him I'm marrying; it's not him I want to spend the rest of my life loving, in more ways than one," I added with a smirk, and Edward smiled in response, the reaction I'd wanted. I giggled and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my lips against the hollow beneath his ear. I licked the skin there lightly and suddenly, Edward had me pressed against the wall.

"Stop it you little minx, or I _will_ lose control," he murmured against my cheek. He lowered his lips down my neck and across my collarbone, making me shiver.

"Now, I thought you wanted to see Jacob, not seduce me...though I'm not objecting in any way." He raised his eyes and they smouldered into mine. Reluctantly, I moved out from under his arms, but kept a hold of his hand.

"I love you, Edward, please never forget that. I would choose you, every time."

He nodded, all previous playfulness gone.

"I know," he whispered, his hand playing with my hair. "I just forget sometimes, when I see you...touching him. It hurts."

I squeezed my eyes shut. If I was being honest, I would go crazy if I saw Edward holding hands with...Tanya, for example. But yet, I was all over Jacob, and he didn't do a thing. I don't know how he did it.

"I'll stop, Edward, I promise. You are what matters most, always."

Edward sat down on the one seat next to the bed, and pulled me onto his knee. I curled up, and his arms wrapped around me as he rocked me back and forth, singing softly in my ear. I closed my eyes in pleasure and lay my head against his shoulder, and soon, I fell asleep.

****

"Bella, love, you need to wake up." Edward's voice broke me out of his peaceful induced sleep and my eyes opened to see his face looking at me warily. I sat up immediately, his worried face waking me up properly.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Edward's hand caressed my cheek and whispered in my ear.

"Shhh, Bella, its okay. Jacob is about to wake up." I stood up and Alice took my hand, and led me back to the opposite wall from the bed. Instantly, I was surrounded. Edward was on my right, with Jasper on my left, their bodies slanting forward so no one would be able to get to me. Esme and Alice stood directly in front of me, with Rosalie in front of them. Emmett and Carlisle were at the front nearest Jacob.

"What are you doing?" I protested, trying to push my way past them, but they stood firm.

"Bella, Alice doesn't know what's going to happen yet. We're not taking any chances with you involved," Jasper told me in a low voice, whilst Edward just squeezed my hand tighter.

"But it's _Jacob_. He won't hurt me!"

"Bella, we don't know how he will react. We just need to be prepared for anything," Jasper replied. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest, huffing and glaring at the floor.

Just then, Jacob made a loud, high pitched screech, and then there was silence. I stood on my tip toes, but I couldn't see over everyone.

"Jacob..." Carlisle said cautiously. "How do you feel?"

Silence.

"Jacob, talk to me."

There was a snarling and a loud bang as feet hit the floor.

I groaned in frustration and then pushed through everyone. Surprisingly, they let me through, and then I stood opposite Jacob. Before I could take his appearance in, his expression changed. His eyes were dark and burning and he snarled loudly before he roared and leapt through the air towards me.

I didn't even have time to scream.

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***evil laugh* I love cliffies! Please review! What do you think is going to happen??**


	23. It's Coming Soon

**I offically have finished writing this.....except the epilogue....there are 24 chapter all together, and I spent ALL week finishing it! Thanks to those who went and reviewed right from the start , even though this is almost finished...and thanks to TotallyObsessed82 for being by twitter pal and putting up with my craziness and always making me feel awesome!!!!!!!!**

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Chapter 22

I closed my eyes and waited for the impact, and sure enough, I fell to the floor with a hard crack, and I screamed now, waiting for the pain to come. But no more pain came. There was a loud crash and I jumped, clenching my fists.

I opened my eyes.

Jasper had Jacob by the neck, and they were both snarling ferociously at the other side of the room. I seemed to have been pushed, and I'd fallen to the floor. Edward stood protectively over me, his hands outstretched and his gaze furiously evil. The anger that was coming off him in waves was terrifying.

Everyone else was as still as stone, gazing at the scene in horror. Suddenly, Emmett broke the stillness, and rushed towards Jacob, grabbing a hold of him to help Jasper. Emmett bared his teeth at Jacob, and yanked his head back.

I couldn't say anything to stop him; I was still in shock. Jacob had attacked me...._he'd attacked me._

Carlisle moved now too, and took hold of Jacob as well. As one mass, the four of them moved toward the door, all still snarling. Jacob started to struggle against their hold as I got further away. I caught one last glimpse of his face before they left the room. It was horrible. He looked mad, completely uncontrollable; he wasn't my Jacob, he was evil.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice's voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I blinked rapidly and focused on her face which was inches from mine. She was crouching down, her hands on my shoulders.

"Bella, please say you're okay?" she whispered. I nodded numbly, still not comprehending what had just taken place. Esme and Rose helped me stand up, and I stumbled forward into Edward. He had straightened up, but a low, dangerous growl was still emanating from his throat. He looked down at me, his expression still livid.

"Are you okay?" he ground out, his voice hoarse and enraged.

"I'm fine," I whispered, coughing a bit. I shook out my limbs to check and winced when I touched my thigh.

"What the hell's wrong?" I was in his arms and in our room in a second. He sat me on the bed and crawled up to sit next to me. His hands, very gently, caressed up my leg, rolling the trouser up. When he reached my thigh, I heard him in hiss in outrage. His cool hands lightly ran over the dark purple bruise that was already showing on my leg.

"Edward, I'm fine," I muttered. "It's just a bruise."

He glanced up at me through his lashes, his eyes deadly.

"It is _not_ okay." He glanced back down, and pressed his lips against the bruise. This time it was me who hissed, but not in anger.

He looked up in surprise, and I saw him sniff. My cheeks went red immediately, and I looked away. I hated how he could sense my every emotion, even my arousal, just by smelling the air. I heard him chuckle, and then I felt his hands roll my trouser leg back down.

"We'll have years for that, love, don't worry." His lips were cold against my heated cheeks, and I blushed even more. "When we're married, I will do things to you that you've never dreamed of," he whispered. I giggled at his tone, and he suddenly jumped on top of me, attacking my lips. I laughed even louder.

"Stop it, Edward!" I gasped as he continued to run his lips over me. "I can't breathe!" He stopped for a second and smirked up at me.

"Are _you_ okay?" I asked, turning the conversation to a more serious topic. His eyes darkened and he climbed off me, leaning against the head board with his hands over his head.

"Fine," he said sharply. I sighed loudly, and tugged at his face to turn towards me.

"Edward, I know you're not. I'm sorry; for not believing you when you said that Jacob would be dangerous. I hurt you, I put my life in danger again, and I'm so sorry for that. But please, I can't bear seeing you so upset," I said quietly, looking away from him in guilt and humiliation. Because my words were perfectly true. I had under-estimated the power of a newborn's senses. I had wrongly assumed that he would have some sixth sense that would stop him from harming me...but I'd been wrong...and I'd almost died because of my mistakes.

"Bella...please, do not blame this on yourself. We should've stopped you walking towards him; you shouldn't even have been there in the first place." He sighed, and clenched his fists, his eyes scrunching closed for a moment. When he opened them, his gaze was more controlled. He smiled up at me.

"I'm great, Bella," he told me, but the smile in his voice wasn't quite there, and I could still see how much this had shocked him. I realized it fully then. He'd been terrified. He'd been terrified of losing me, when he knew he would die if I did. The guilt overwhelmed me; how could I do that to him?

"Bella!" a voice called from downstairs angrily. There was a slight noise and then the door swung open and Jasper stood there, his expression annoyed.

"You're back?" I asked brightly, but then frowned as I took in his expression. "What's happened?" I whispered quietly, my thoughts going haywire at the thought of something having happened to any of the Cullens....or Jacob.

"Bella, nothing has happened," Edward murmoured in my ear softly, his lips brushing gently against my skin and making me shiver slightly. I shook my head, and tried to focus my attention back on Jasper.

"Then what's wrong?" I asked him. He was still glaring at me, his arms folded over his chest.

"Stop feeling guilty," he hissed. My eyes widened, and I reddened, but couldn't help the guilt from creeping back over me.

"Bella!" he cried, rushing forward to me. "Stop it! You have nothing to feel guilty for!"

His eyes were half crazy for some reason I didn't understand. When he spoke, I glanced slightly at Edward and spotted him staring intently at me. I blushed and he looked reproachingly at me.

"Bella, why are you feeling guilty over me? I'm fine. You have done nothing."

"Yes, why?" Jasper added in, his eyes still wild. He reached out and pressed his hand against my arm, and slowly I felt my guilt dissipate and I relaxed.

"Because you were worried. I almost died, I realize that now...and I can't believe I did that to you," I told them both, so quietly I struggled to hear my own voice. I looked down at the ground, playing with my hands and tugging at the hem of my shirt.

I felt a wind blow next to me and I looked up to see Jasper disappear. Edward's hand moved me turned my head toward him and I caught his gaze, but dropped my eyes a few seconds later, unable to look him in the eye.

"Beautiful, please look at me." His eyes burned into mine, making me complete. "Bella, tu niña bonita y valiente, dejas siendo tan tonta. Te quiero. No te preocupes de mi, mi amor."

My heart sped up and he chuckled. But I didn't care that I was embarrassing myself. His voice was beautiful. I guessed it was Spanish he spoke, but I could have been wrong.

I loved it. His voice flowed like honey, clear and sweet, drenching my body in complete amazement. It was amazing; wonderful; _sexy. _

"Say something else," I whispered.

"Estas la persona mas increible en el universo. Todo sobre de ti me sorprende. Tu pelo es tan delicada, tan suave." His hand moved to my hair and ran it gently through his fingers. "Tiene el dulce aroma a diferencia de cualquier cosa en el mundo." He brought it to his nose and inhaled, sighing in pleasure. " Tu ojos son mi vida. Me mantienen su conjunto, y vivo." He ran his fingers over my eyelids, and I shut my eyes, wanting to be able to feel everything with him speaking like this. "Tus labios..." he whispered. "...tienen la más dulce caricia. Increíble. Magnífico." His fingers ran lightly over my lips and I jumped slightly, exhaling loudly. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me, his eyes dark and hooded. His lips were moving, but no sound came from them.

"My God, Bella," he whispered suddenly, and then his lips were pressing against me. My lips parted and I let out a deep breath, my hands running up his arms and tangling into his hair. I slipped my tongue out and I heard Edward groan when I touched his lips, his body shaking slightly. He opened his mouth and our tongues mingled, caressing each other lightly. I felt my body light up in complete ecstasy and I forgot how to breathe. All I could focus on was this kiss. My head started spinning, and I broke away, gasping for breath as I tried to make the room stop moving.

"Wow," I muttered.

"You could say that again," he chuckled to himself. I blushed and looked away from him, scared of losing control if I looked into his burning eyes again.

"What did you say? Before? Was it Spanish?" I asked, curious as to what made him so...lustful? I giggled at my choice of words. Lustful was one that I would never normally use to describe Edward...but on this occasion, lustful was definitely precise. Or, since he was still a teenager, I suppose I could describe him as horny. I laughed loudly at this. The beautiful, soft spoken Edward and horny did not go together.

Edward smirked at me, distracting me from my laughter.

"What are you laughing at, mi amor?" He smiled at the words and I saw something flash across his face. It quickly disappeared though. I shook my head to answer his question, and waited for his answer. I licked my lips lightly, considering they were quite dry from our kissing.

Edward's eyes widened though, and went pitch black. A low growl emanated from his chest and he looked like he was about to pounce on me.

There was a loud cry, and suddenly Alice and Jasper entered the room. Jasper placed his hands on his shoulders and pushed me up, steering me out of the room, while Alice went to Edward. I saw her click her fingers in front of his face before he vanished from my sight.

"What the...Why...Jasper!" I stuttered, confused as to why they had burst in.

"Bells, uh...I was getting some pretty strong feelings from Edward...and Alice saw something that she knew Edward would regret later...had he not kept it till the wedding." I looked at him blankly for a second, and then blushed.

"Oh," I simply said, a little stunned by his words. I was sure we hadn't been that bad.

"Oh believe me, Bella, even Emmett couldn't match the feeling coming off of him!" Jasper laughingly said, as if he could read my mind.

"What's Alice doing with him?"

"Calming him down. He'll be back soon." Jasper slumped down onto the sofa and I sat next to him.

"Where's....Jacob and everyone?" I was slightly puzzled, considering Jasper was the only one who had come back.

"Um, well, Carlisle and Emmett are taking him feeding. Uh, Carlisle decided my uh, temper was a bit too much, and sent me back here." It was silent for a moment as I pondered this.

"Thank you," I murmured softly. It was Jasper's turn to frown now.

"Whatever for?"

"For saving my life up there. If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead right now."

He was silent for a moment then smiled his cute-ass smile.

"No problem, Bella." He stroked my cheek gently and I smiled.

"Yes, thank you for that," a velvet voice announced. My head spun around, and there was Edward, grinning crookedly at me. He flew over and sat down next to me, pulling me into his arms. "You don't know how much I am thankful for that, Jasper," he said softly, his fingers gently running up and down my back. "I don't know I'd do if I lost her," he whispered quietly, and I was sure I wasn't meant to hear. "Yeah, she is," Edward answered, I'm guessing something in reference to Jasper's thoughts.

"Don't have a conversation about me whilst I'm here. It's rude." I jokingly punched Edward's arm, and then yelped when I hit his stone form. He chuckled, but his eyes flew to my hand and he checked it over very carefully, before kissing my knuckles and giving me it back. He smirked at my disgruntled expression.

"That's what you get," he told me, shrugging his shoulders. He smiled smugly at me and I climbed off his lap, folding my arms across my chest. I didn't get very though, because as soon as I moved off of him, his arms wrapped back around me, pulling me back to him. I knew I was supposed to fight back, but the feeling of him against me, holding me tight, was too good to miss. So I stayed. Any feminist out there would be stabbing me in the back right about now.

"Edward," I asked. He made a non-committal sound in his throat and I took that as my cue to continue. "What's going to happen with Jacob?" Edward didn't answer for a few moments, but tightened his grip on me.

"I'm not sure. We'll probably have to get his tolerance up around you, a bit like Jasper did really," he added to lighten the mood. Edward nudged Jasper in the side and he dodged it, rolling his eyes.

And so it began. Carlisle and Emmett took Jacob feeding every day. They kept him in a small house, about a mile away, so he wouldn't be too near me. Jasper, and Emmett took turns on 'babysitting' Jake, as we'd taken to calling it, but Carlisle was always there. It was a month before the first try was made. Apparently, Carlisle had had a long chat with Jake before he met me face to face, about what this meeting would entail.

Jasper and Edward stood on standby, in front of me, with Alice, Rosalie and Esme protecting me from all other angles. Emmett and Carlisle held his arms tightly when they walked him in. There was a slight gap between the two vampires in front of me, through which I could see Jake. As soon as he entered the room, his face tightened, his jaw strained, and his eyes grew dark. A low, menacing growl came from Edward, and Carlisle and Emmett tightened their grip on him.

But Jake spoke.

"I'm fine," he muttered, through clenched teeth. I peeked around Edward, and Jake rolled his eyes at me. I giggled and Jake smiled at me, although his face was still tense. I took a proper look at him then.

He looked good.

Not as good as Edward though, but still beautiful. His dark skin was paler now, almost golden, and his features were more prominent, his dark hair shiny in the light. Tendons stood out on his arms from where he was straining his muscles.

"Hey Jake," I whispered when I met his gaze again.

"Hey Bella."

"How are you?"I asked. Jake snorted and I frowned.

"How do you think, Bella? I wake up, thinking I've died, to find out that I'm a vampire and I want to attack the girl I love. How could you do this, Bella? How can you want to be like this? It's fucking hell!"

I gasped, and felt tears come to my eyes. I stumbled around Edward and moved towards Jake, my arms outstretched.

"Jake," I whispered, my voice breaking. There was a loud snap as Jacob's teeth slammed together. His expression grew wild, and I heard Edward mutter behind me.

"It's time to leave," he said quietly. Carlisle nodded, and he and Emmett began pulling Jake to the door. Jake walked with them, despite straining forward to me, baring his teeth in bloodlust.

When he was gone, I fell to the floor and sobbed. For once I wasn't comforted by the cool arms that wrapped around me, or the sweet words that were whispered in my ear.

"He doesn't want this, Edward. I just made him hate me. He doesn't want to be here. I've ruined him....I've ruined him," I kept sobbing, until finally, I fell into a terrible sleep.

*****

The second attempt wasn't much better. It started out fine, but when I tried to get to Jacob, he lost control again. By the tenth try, I was finally able to touch him, and by the fifteenth, he no longer had to be held. Which meant he could now come into the main house. However, someone had to be with me at all times, as well as someone standing guard over Jake at all times. This meant that we could talk for hours, in the same room. But our conversation were stilted and awkward. We had nothing to say to each other. He hated me for bringing him into this life, and I hated him for not adapting to it better.

It didn't help with the wedding plans coming on either. Every night, Alice would sit down with Edward and I and go over things. I saw Jake glare at us from his corner, and I saw Edward wince occasionally, his eyes darting to Jake, and then back to me, looking guilty when I caught him.

And mine and Edward's....relationship wasn't helping either. I knew with his vampire hearing, that he would hear every moan, groan, whimper that we made in our bedroom. I knew he could smell us both when me made out, and I knew he hated that we were constantly touching, caressing, holding each other. Each time he caught us was like an arrow through his heart, and I hated myself for doing it. I despised myself. And yet, we managed.

From time to time Edward and I would go down to visit Charlie, and Billy, bringing back news for Jake. It was the one time he looked animated, and happy. But he would always go back to being the sullen, moody Jake that I'd gotten used to.

Soon it was August, and our wedding was set for the beginning of it. On the 2nd, we all moved back to Forks. Jake and Emmett were going to stand off to the side at the wedding, so Emmett wouldn't miss it, but so Jake wouldn't be left alone. Charlie was happy, that much I could tell. He could sense something coming in the air, and I knew he cherished these moments as if they were his last....which ultimately, they were. I knew my time as a human was ending. I would be changed before my next birthday.

The morning of my wedding was sunny, a peculiar event in Forks, but I took it to be a good sign....how wrong I was.

Charlie, Alice and I all got ready at his house, while the rest of the Cullens and Edward overtook their large house in the forest. We were having the ceremony in the church; it was only going to be a small event, with just a few friends coming, as well as the Denali vampires.

The day passed quickly. My dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away with tears shimmering in his eyes.

"Take care of my baby girl," he whispered to Edward before rushing to take his seat. Alice looked beautiful as my only bridesmaid, and Jasper looked rather dashing in his suit, cowboy boots on underneath. I giggled when I spotted them, and he winked at me. We said our vows and slid the rings on. I felt my eyes fill with tears when he kissed me, and we were finally announced as husband and wife....finally.

After all my sorrows, my waiting, we were finally married...mated forever. Eternal life with Edward sounded like my very own heaven.

But my wedding day was not a happy one. It is not a day I remember for joy, or laughter. It has only been two weeks since then, but the memory still haunts my mind. I was sleeping in my angel's arms that night, having kissed for hours, when the door to our bedroom opened. Someone slipped in and I sat up, frowning as I pushed my hair out of my face. Carlisle was standing there, his face solemn.

"I have bad news," he whispered. My heart stopped beating and sunk to the floor. There was a scream downstairs and I jumped, my eyes flashing in terror.

"What's happened? That was Alice!" Edward shushed me, but his eyes were wide too, panic shooting through them also. "Carlisle, what is it? Is Alice okay?"

"No, Bella," Edward whispered.

For you see, my wedding day was ruined, by fear.

That was the day that Jacob ran away.

And that was the day that Alice saw our future. We were all going to die. And soon.

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**TRANSLATION: sorry if it isn't perfect!  
**

**Tu niña bonita y valiente, dejas siendo tan tonta. Te quiero. No te preocupes sobre mi, mi amor.= You beautiful, brave girl, stop being so silly. I love you. Don't worry about me, my love.**

**Estas la persona mas increible en el universo. Todo sobre de ti me soprende. Tu pelo es tan delicada, tan suave. Tiene el dulce aroma a diferencia de cualquier cosa en el mundo. Tu ojos son mi vida. Me mantienen su conjunto, y vivo. Tus labios... tienen la más dulce caricia. Increíble. Magnífico. = You are the most incredible person in the universe. Everything about you stuns me. Your hair is so delicate, so soft. It has the sweetest scent, different from anything in the world. Your eyes are my life. They keep me whole, and alive. Your lips...they have the sweetest caress. Amazing. Magnificent.**

**I hope you enjoyed. Next chapter will be up on Sunday probably. Is it bad that my fav part of that chapter was Jasper's cowboy boots??? **


	24. The Volturi

**I hope you enjoy the chapter! Thanks to all my friends on Twitter who keep me going!!!**

**I stilllllll don't own!!  
**

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Chapter 23

Alice POV

It had been going great. Until we got home.

Bella hadn't fallen as she walked down the aisle, something she was positive would happen. Neither of them had forgotten their vows; it had been perfect. The reception went smoothly too. The music was great, and Bella wowed everyone in her dress. Edward was completely stunned by how amazing she had looked as she walked down the aisle. Its the one thing I'm proud of that day. For I do not deserve the recognition of anything else. If only I had seen it quicker, we might have been able to act, and the outcome might not be so bad.

Edward had just taken Bella up to bed, and you could hear her soft snores throughout the house. You could hear Edward's quiet whispers of love and adoration, the sound his fingers made as they brushed back her hair and delicately stroked her skin. He didn't see my thoughts until it was too late; he might have had a chance, but Bella was all he could think about, so he couldn't stop it from happening.

I was playing with the flowers in a vase in the kitchen. When I was happy I picked it up and walked through to the living room. But a vision shot through my mind, making me drop the case to the floor where it smashed into pieces.

"Jacob," I whispered, and started running, ignoring the shocked faces around me. I was out of the front door before anyone could ask me what had happened. I reached the forest and kept running, following Jacob's scent. He'd been for a walk, and we'd let him out on his own, but no one had expected this.

My breathing was calm, unhindered by the stamina of humans, and tree branches whipped at me as I ran, tearing my clothes but causing no harm to come to my skin. His scent was getting slightly stronger now, so I knew I was catching up. I sped up, needing, wanting to stop Jacob. This would kill Bella. She was going to lose so much, she couldn't lose him too.

But then I skidded to a stop.

"NO!" I screamed. I threw myself against the nearest tree and it crashed to the floor. "NO! NO! NO!" I fell to the ground, dry sobs shaking my body.

For I had reached the cliff edge. Jacob had gone into the water. His scent was gone. I had failed Bella.

Arms gently picked me off the floor and I breathed in, squeezing myself closer to Jasper, burying my head in his chest.

"I've failed her, Jazz. I wasn't watching him, and I couldn't catch him. I failed her...I lost her best friend. She's never going to forgive me."

The warmth of his chest that matched my own was comforting and his touch gradually calmed me. Eventually, he spoke up.

"Bella is the most forgiving person I know, Alice. She could never be mad at you for long. And she won't be mad. You did everything you could, she'll understand that."

"Oh, Jazz," I whimpered, before closing my eyes to the world. When we reached the house again, Carlisle came out to meet us. He saw the despair in my eyes and smiled sadly.

"It was always a possibility. He didn't take well to our world." We walked inside together and Jasper sat down on the couch, still holding me to him. He rocked me as I tried to see something of Jacob's future.

That was when I screamed. We were all going to die. The Volturi were coming. They were coming to kill us for keeping Bella alive.

And it was Jacob who would bring them.

Bella POV

Two weeks had passed. Two long, hard weeks. Today was the day they would come. It was the middle of August, but the skies were dark and overcast; the perfect weather for them.

Two weeks of frantic searching the future for ways to avoid this. Two weeks of despair and terror from everyone. Two weeks of waking up, screaming, clutching at Edward. Two weeks of wishing I could just run away with Edward. Two weeks of hoping that he wouldn't die. Two weeks of hating myself for being the cause of all this.

For although none of them said it, I knew it was true. There was one rule that was enforced in their world; keep it secret. And they had brought me into it all. Yes it was Jacob who was bringing it to the Volturi's attention, but I was the reason we would all die. I'd tried to persuade Edward to change me before now, but he was acting weird about it again. I'd spoken to Jasper about it.

"Bella, he's worried. You saw what happened with Jacob. He went crazy because of it all and went and signed our death warrant." I flinched at his words. "Edward would die if you ran away from him. He would literally cease to exist." I snorted and Jasper looked at me reprovingly. "You didn't see him before, Bella. He was like a ghost. He was lifeless....no, he was souless. Just a creature, a body. He just lay there, doing nothing, hardly breathing. Never again....But he is terrified that you will become like Jacob. That you will hate this life so much that you'll run from him and he'll never get you back. Please try to understand this from his point of view, Bella. Try to think like him. He believes he has no soul, but if it were the other way round, could you take away his soul?" Jasper raised an eyebrow at me, and I frowned.

"But it's a moot point, because he does have a soul," I argued, setting my mouth into a hard line. Jasper shrugged his shoulders.

"But he doesn't think so."

I do understand his point, but if he'd changed me, I know that we would all be fine, we would all live. But he refused....he always refused.

I was in my bed, still with my eyes closed as I pondered over all of this. I could feel Edward's breath on the back of my bare shoulder, my shirt having fallen down my arm slightly during the night. I felt his lips brush against the skin there and I shivered in delight, for a moment forgetting about what was going to come, and giving in to the heavenly moment.

"Hey," I whispered as I turned around to face him.

"Hey yourself," he smiled back. He kissed my lips this time and I gladly moved closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me, but instead of the usual safe kisses, he crushed me to him, the kiss urgent. Like it was the last one....which it could be.

He breathily let me go, keeping my face in his hands, and gazing at me with terror.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice strained. "I'm sorry I brought you into this. I'm so sorry, Bella."

The morning was our goodbye. Edward and I sat with his arms around me, just holding one another. Jasper and Alice just gazed at each other, their fear flowing out of Jasper and through the room. Rosalie and Emmett said goodbye in their own way, upstairs, and I didn't know where Carlisle and Esme were.

The silence got too much for me though.

"Sorry," I muttered, unable to contain the guilt that was exploding throughout my body. Edward growled lowly and Alice glared at me. Jasper just smiled sadly at me, knowing already how I felt about this.

"You can't deny that this is my fault," I insisted. "I was the one who asked to make Jacob one of us. I am the reason we'll die. If I was a vampire by now though...." I added, looking ruefully at Edward. He let out another low growl.

"Stop it, Bella," he said sharply, ceasing his relentless stroking against my cheek for a moment. When he started back up again, the conversation was over, and I was still filled with horrendous guilt.

Edward made me lunch at midday, and I ate it in silence; the only sound in the room was my crunching. When we'd finished, Edward and I walked upstairs and into my bedroom. We sat down on the bed, and he turned towards me, taking both of my hands.

"Bella," he started. I interrupted quickly.

"Edward, please, don't." He shook his head at me and continued anyway.

"Bella," he repeated. "Since you've came into my life...I've changed. You brought me out of the darkness. When I first saw you, gravity moved, Bella. My whole world shifted to revolve around you. My every thought was about you. Even then, you brightened my life. You've brought me back to life. For so long, I thought I would be alone, life wasn't worth living. But you changed that. You made me hope again. You lit up my life like the brightest star in the universe. I love you, Bella. I will never forgive myself for leaving you, but I thank God every day that you are back in my life. You are everything to me. When we die today—"

"If," I interrupted. "_If_ we die today."

"If we die today, Bella, if I go to hell, I will find you, my beautiful angel. I will do whatever it fucking takes to find you again. You have made my life brilliant. I promise I will never, ever forget you." He raised a hand to stroke my cheek and I felt a tear fall from my eye. I closed them tight, but I couldn't hold back the sob that escaped my body.

"Edward, I can't see you die, I can't," I sobbed into his chest. His arms were tight around me, rocking me on his lap.

"I will do whatever it takes to protect you, Bella, please do not worry. If anyone is getting out of this alive, you are."

"It's true, Bella." Another voice spoke up and I turned around to see the rest of the Cullens standing in the doorway. Jasper walked forward and picked up my hand.

"You have changed our lives in so many ways. You are so precious, and we will all do whatever it takes to get you out of this."

"NO!" I yelled, wrenching myself away from both Edward and Jasper's grip.

"NO! I don't want you to risk your lives to save mine! I am going to die. They will kill me first, to provoke you! Please promise me that you won't fight back!" My frantic, tear-stained face looked at all of them, and not one of them made a sound.

"Fuck it, Bella, if they kill you, we'll kill them," Emmett announced eventually.

"Please!" I begged. "Please, please don't."

"You are worth fighting for, Bella," Jasper told me, standing up from his crouch. I shook my head crazily at him.

"No, I'm not, and none of you are risking your lives for...some fatal revenge act."

"Bella," Edward said quietly. "Why can't you see that we want to do this? We will fight them if they get to you first. But I will protect you, until my last moment."

"No," I whispered, defeated now. "No." My knees buckled, and Edward was across the room and holding me up before I could fall.

"Be brave, Bella. We will show them that we are stronger than them." I wrapped my arms around his waist and we stood there for what seemed like forever until Alice spoke.

"It's time," she said quietly. We all turned to look at her and she nodded. Edward passed me a coat and I put it on. I was going to freeze otherwise in the Alaskan snow. We walked out behind the house and to the large open plain in front of us. I started to shake and Edward rubbed my arms soothingly.

"Bella, it's going to be all right."

But we both knew it wasn't. It was going to be anything but alright. They took up a well practised stance, that seemed almost natural to them. Edward was next to me, and Jasper and Alice stood to the other side of me, slanting forward. Rosalie was just in front of Edward, with Emmett in front of her. Carlisle and Esme stood directly in front of me, blocking me from the view. I could vaguely see dark hooded figures walking towards us, but Carlisle was blocking too much. Soon, I could hear the faint whispering of cloaks along the ground.

"So," a clear voice ran out. "We meet again, Carlisle."

"It is a pleasure to see you again, Aro." Carlisle replied. He walked forward, holding out his hand, and he made a small passage for me to see some of the others. A small cloaked figure had her hood down. She was beautiful, as was expected, but she was so young. Her eyes were bright red, and she looked straight at me. Edward growled, and I looked at him to see his angry glare directed at the same figure I was looking at. I put a hand on his arm, and he breathed again, but he didn't relax his tense stance. A tall vampire stood behind her, and he too was staring at me. I flinched under his gaze as it rose up my body. A louder, more obvious snarl left Edward's lips and everyone turned to him. He bared his teeth at the vampire and Aro spoke up.

"Felix," he warned. Edward moved slightly, sliding a footing front of me and leaning forward slightly so he was now completely blocking me from anyone.

"Carlisle, I must say, you have quite the coven here."

"I agree. I had the opportunity to meet some marvellous people in my life."

"People? Including Isabella, may I add?" Edward tensed even more in front of me, and I froze at the sound of my name. Jasper reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently, and calming me with is light touch. My breathing grew quicker and I knew that they all noticed it.

"May I..." Aro asked Carlisle.

"Ask her yourself." Carlisle stepped to the side and I peeked around Edward to see Aro more towards me.

"Isabella, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you. Such a pity our meeting is so late."

"It's nice to meet you too," I said warily as the vampire moved closer. His olive skin tone made him look slightly odd in the light. His long dark hair swung lose and his dark red eyes hid something from me.

"Now, you see, Isabella, I have a power similar to young Edward's here. Just not as...useful, shall me say."

"But much more powerful," Edward spoke up. He turned his head slightly towards me. "Aro can see every thought you've ever had, but only if he touches you."

"Yes, dear Bella, do you mind if I call you that? I understand that is your preference?" I nodded slowly at him. "Well, I was wondering, if I may read your mind? Seeing as Edward's power does not work on you, I wondered if mine would?"

I looked to Edward for an answer.

"You can if you want," he told me quietly. I moved forward, dropping Jasper's hand but taking hold of Edward's. I held out my free hand and Aro walked across the space quickly, taking my hand in his, and inhaling expectantly. His eyes grew wide after a few moments and he dropped my hand like it was the plague. Edward pulled me back to him, and I glanced up, surprised to see a smug smile on his face.

"She's amazing, isn't she?" Edward said in a low voice, adoration and admiration showing through his words. I blushed, and a small tinkling laugh came from the vampires opposite us. The small girl from before walked forward to Aro's side.

"Why don't you let me try, Master?" She stepped forward and hissed at me. I jumped back and Edward pulled me behind him immediately, growling lowly at the girl.

"Not just now, Jane," Arp whispered, brushing his hand along her cheek. Jane pouted and then smiled at me.

"I'll look forward to it." She stayed by his side as Aro glanced between Edward and I.

"So, my lovely friends, I am assuming you know why we are here?" No one answered so Aro continued. "You have broken the one rule we have, my dear ones. You have told our secret, to a human, and have not killed or changed her."

A low growl came from the vampires and a figure I hadn't noticed before stepped forward.

"Jacob," I whispered. "...How could you?" He growled and ignored me.

"Ah, I take it you knew this was what led us to you?" Again, no one answered. "Well then, my friends, I have no choice but to kill you. I am sorry about all this. Although, if you hand the girl over, without a fight, you can all go free." A chorus of snarls came from the Cullen's surrounding me and I cringed before winning the battle going on in my head.

They were not going to die because of me.

"Deal," I said clearly. Aro's mouth fell open as he looked at me.

"What?" he asked, stunned.

"If I come, let you kill me, with no fuss, do you promise you won't harm anyone?"

Aro nodded slowly and I smiled.

"Fine. Deal then." I began to walk forward but hands snatched me back.

"Not a chance, Bella," Edward growled. I fought at the arms that held me.

"Let me go, Edward," I shouted, spinning around to face him. All of a sudden, Edward was on the floor. I jumped back, confused but then his face scrunched up in pain. He let out a scream and I paled. Edward shook on the floor, like he was having a fit or something. I dropped to the floor, trying to grab him.

"Edward, Edward!" I called desperately, but his eyes were unfocused, his body shaking in agony. It was torture. I felt arms grasp me, and I was yanked backwards. I cried out as someone pulled my arms tight, almost pulling them from the sockets. I cried again as pain shot through my already injured arm. The vampire, Felix, held me and he grinned evilly at me. When he jabbed me in the ribs, I whimpered in pain, and chaos broke out. All the Cullen's jumped forward, in an attempt to get to me, but they were all stopped, tackled to the ground by one of the Volturi.

"No!" I yelled, watching as everyone was held back, arms tight around them. Edward was still on the floor, his body still heaving. It was fucking torture.

"Please," I whispered to Aro. "Please, stop hurting him." Tears fell from my eyes as I watched Edward scream again, his anguish too clear. "PLEASE!" I yelled. Aro gave a slight nod, and Edward stopped shaking. The relief that surged through my body was so strong that I slumped into my captors arms. Edward stood up quickly, spinning around, his gaze wild as he looked for me. He growled when he saw me and prepared to jump.

Felix grabbed my hair and yanked my head back, grazing his teeth against my neck. I whimpered again, and Edward stopped in hi tracks, his eyes going wide with fear.

"Please, don't....I'll do anything," he whispered, his voice hoarse. His arms were still outstretched, reaching for me. Felix pulled on my harder and I howled when he hit me in the ribs again.

"Please!" Edward yelled. His voice was torn, his expression was horrific. He looked like the world was about to end. His face was filled with terror, his eyes were uncontrollable.

"Please....I'll change her. Anything, just please, don't kill her," he groaned. Aro held up a hand to Felix, and he loosened his hold on me. My head fell forward, slumping against my chest. I breathed again, and raised my eyes to Edward. He was still wild, shaking with need. He moved forward slightly, and Felix tightened his grip around my neck. My hands flew to my neck, trying to pull at his hands to relive the pressure.

"Felix!" Aro said loudly. I inhaled quickly when he loosened his grip. A growl ripped through the air from Edward as I gasped for breath.

"You'll change her?" Aro asked Edward calmly. Edward nodded his head wildly.

"Anything."

"Then do it. Bite her. Now." The cool, olive skinned vampire was staring at Edward blankly. I could see the string of emotions cross his face as he was told this. I vaguely saw Jacob run up to the vampire and shout in his face but I didn't take it in. I couldn't hear a word. This was what I wanted, so why was it bothering me? The vampire across the clearing looked at Edward now. I realized what the problem was. I didn't want him to be forced into it.

"Do it. Or we'll kill her." I could feel pressure building in my head, as this news stunned me, stunned me beyond believe. But all I could see as Edward's frozen face.

"Edward," I managed to stutter. "Don't do it, not unless you're sure."

That's when I passed out.

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**Yup, another cliffie....you know what to do!**


	25. Perfection

**Here is it guys! The last chapter! There will be an epilogue, so keep an eye out. Sorry it took so long to update, I'm in the middle of exams right now.**

**I hope you all enjoy it! *GASPS* Can you believe this story has hit 100 reviews?? *squee* Thanks to all those who've stuck with this from the begining, I love you all.**

**  
Disclaimer: I do not own, have never owned, and will never own.  
**

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Chapter 24

BPOV

Cool fingers pressed against my cheeks, my forehead.

"Bella, can you hear me?" Edward's velvet voice broke through my daze and I opened my eyes, squinting as the harsh light hit my eyes.

"Edward?" I murmured. He smiled down at me, his eyes brightening when I spoke.

"Hey, beautiful. How are you?" He helped me sit up, and I looked around to see all the Cullens there as well.

"Where's Aro?" I whispered, my voice cracking. Edward handed me a glass of water and I gulped it down.

"What happened?" I asked, after I'd drunk all of the water.

"Well, after you collapsed, I went and got you, and they let me. I carried you back to the house, and Carlisle told Aro, that he could stay in the house, until you're up to getting changed."

"You're really going to do it?" I asked, my face lighting up in joy. I was going to be a vampire!

"Yes," he laughed at my reaction. But I suddenly remembered something, and my face fell.

"What happened to Jacob?" Edward glanced at Jasper, who nodded.

"He's going to stay with the Volturi. This place isn't for him," Edward said hesitantly. I nodded, knowing it was true, but hating to face the facts. I had made this so much more complicated than it could have been.

"I'm sorry for making this so difficult for you all," I sighed. They all chuckled.

"We wouldn't have had it any other way, Bella," Emmett chuckled. I smiled slightly and Edward groaned, looking towards the door.

"I guess this is it, huh?" I asked when I heard footsteps on the stairs. I wasn't surprised that Aro wanted it done as soon as I woke up.

"Yes," Edward told me softly. He tightened his grip on my hand when Aro entered the room. Edward nodded coldly at him and Aro nodded back.

Everyone came over to me, and hugged me.

"See you on the other side!" Emmett joked, only to be hit by Rosalie. "OW! No need, babe," he complained. I giggled and Edward smiled at me, happy that I was happy. Eventually, it was just me, Edward and Carlisle left. Edward's smile fell and I moved closer to him, clasping his face in my hands.

"Edward, this is a good thing. Trust me. I love you, and want to be with you forever. That's my definition of heaven," I whispered. I pressed my lips against his, and he responded immediately, his hands moving up my back and through my hair. The urgency of earlier today was back. Fire ignited within me and I smiled when I moved away.

"This is us, Edward. It's going to be perfect. We are meant to be." He looked at me for a moment before smiling.

"I know, my love, I know." He pushed me back on the covers, and Carlisle came to hover by the side of the bed, ready to intervene if Edward lost control. Edward brushed my hair off my neck and leaned in. His voice was a like a cool breeze against my skin.

"I'm so sorry, Bella, for hurting you like this," he whispered. He licked over my skin to moisten it, and then, he bit down.

It was a few seconds before the burn began, and when it did, it soared through my whole body. A high pitched keening sounded throughout the room. I felt cool hands on my face again.

"Bella! Shhh, it's okay, it's okay, love!" Edward's voice was anguished, torn, and it was only then that I realized the sound was coming from me. I stopped screaming for a moment, but the burn got to hot, too painful, so I had to scream again in an attempt to release some of the pain.

Cool hands stripped away my clothes and I felt a cool body press against me, and I calmed slightly, the coolness that Edward exuded making my skin less hot. With the small relief of his coolness, I was able to stop screaming. Edward's arms wrapped around me, and he just held me.

I don't know how long it lasted. I would cry every so often, but Edward stayed. Never once did he leave my side. He comforted me, he cooled me down; he was the best I could have wanted. I hated seeing him so upset, in so much agony over me. I cried over that too, but I soon learned that tears burned my skin even more.

Sometime during the process, Alice came in. I felt her put some clothes on me, but they must have been thin, because Edward's body still cooled my skin.

After an eternity, the burning got hotter, and hotter, and hotter. I screamed again.

"EDWARD!"

"It's okay, my love, please, it's almost finished, you're almost done." My back raised from the bed as the heat in my chest increased exponentially. I let out one more scream, and then there was silence. My eyes were closed but I could hear everything; the slight shuffle of clothes, murmurs of whispered words, the low intake of breath. And then I opened my eyes.

I gasped in wonder as I looked around the room. It was so clear, clearer than I'd expected. I turned my face sharply, and flew backwards, crouching into a corner. Someone had been right next to me, so close, I could see every imperfection in their skin.

"Bella, sweetheart, it's me..." the vampire said. A jolt of recognition flew through me; this was my angel, this was my Edward. In another second, somehow I had flown forward, crashing into him and wrapping my arms and legs around his neck and waist.

"Edward!" We smashed against the wall and it cracked. I giggled loudly, my lips pressed against his neck. I inhaled deeply, experiencing for the first time as a vampire, the marvellous smell that was Edward. It was so much better like this, so much more intense. I pulled backwards and his eyes were shining. I pressed my lips to his and he spun us around, pressing me against the wall now. His lips attacked mine, spreading fire through my body. I moaned loudly, his hands wandering down my body.

Someone coughed, and I broke away, breathing heavily, something which obviously still came naturally to me. I looked over Edward's shoulder to see the rest of the family smiling at us. Alice stood at the front, grinning, her arms folded over her chest.

"Bella!" she squealed. Edward moved to the side slightly, also turning to face our family, but he kept a hold of me. I smiled sheepishly at Alice, nervously wringing my hands.

"Hey," I said softly. My hand flew to my throat when a soft, lilting sound came out when I spoke. Edward chuckled at my reaction.

"You think that's bad, wait till you see the eyes," he murmured. I gasped.

"What's wrong with my eyes?! Are they awful?!" My eyes widened and Edward chuckled again at me.

"No, Bella. They are beautiful. Perfect," he whispered. He raised a hand and stroked my cheek gently. I felt a familiar feeling rush through my body, but I smiled when I realized that blushing was now impossible. _Thank goodness_, I thought.

_I want a hug too, _I heard Alice say.

I laughed, and I noticed that it too was lighter, more attractive.

"Of course, Alice," I told her. I broke away from Edward and held out my arms. Alice frowned.

"I didn't say anything, Bella." It was my turn to frown now.

"Yes, you did. You said you want a hug too. Didn't she, Edward?" I turned back to him, pouting, but he shook his head.

"Well someone said it," I muttered.

"No one said anything, Bella," Carlisle spoke up, his gaze curious. "Try listen again, okay? Listen for Alice." I stood in the middle of the room, but nothing happened.

"No one is saying anything!" I complained. Carlisle frowned. Alice on the other hand, brightened and she skipped forward and hugged me, but she didn't let her hands touch my skin.

"You look great, Bella!" she said, breaking away. Unconsciously, I moved back to Edward, and he wrapped a protective arm around me, pulling me closer. He pressed his lips against the bare skin of my shoulder, and it was then that I realized what I was wearing.

_So beautiful, _someone whispered, but I paid no attention to it.

"Why the hell am I wearing a short, silk cocktail dress?" I turned my glare to Alice and she shrugged.

"Bella, look in a mirror. It looks amazing on you. Trust me on this." She winked and danced out of the room. I frowned and Edward spoke up, saying she had gone to get a mirror.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked me.

"Perfect!" I exclaimed. "Never better. I feel...all shiny and new!" I laughed again, and Carlisle tilted his head at Jasper, raising a questionable eyebrow.

"Nothing, nothing at all."

_It' weird. No bloodlust whatsoever, _Jasper murmured.

_Not even a little thirsty? _Carlisle pondered quietly.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not there!" I exclaimed suddenly.

"Bella, no one has said anything."

_What the hell is she __**on**__? _I heard Emmett say.

"STOP IT!" I yelled, ripping myself out of Edward's arms. Alice skipped back in then there, a mirror in her arms. She placed it against the wall, and then smiled at Edward.

"Yes!" he spoke loudly, snapping his fingers. "Bella, come here." He beckoned me towards him, and I walked forward hesitantly. He held out his hand and I lifted mine up slowly, and placed it in his hand. "Now, I'm going to think of a number, can you tell me what it is?" I nodded slowly, still not understanding where this was leading.

_736....736....736_

"736," I stated, hearing the number played in my head. He let go.

"Now try." I waited, but nothing came.

"I can't hear anything."

"You see?" Edward turned to Carlisle. "She's taking my power, she's using it when I touch her."

Carlisle started at me for a few seconds and then grinned.

"What about Jasper's?" I moved forward, placing my hand in Jasper's, and almost immediately, I could _sense _things. Edward was...proud? Carlisle was excited, Rosalie was...jealous. I almost laughed at that. I turned to Edward, and tried to see if I could control his emotions. I thought of every time he'd kissed me, touched me, and I tried to throw it at him. He froze, and I giggled when a low growl came from his lips. His eyes turned nearly pitch black, but before I could do anything else, Jasper stole his hand away. I pouted.

"I was enjoying that." He tapped the end of my nose, shaking his head, and I huffed, scooting across the room back to Edward.

"Carlisle, maybe I should take her to hunt...I mean, before anything happens. She could lose control at any moment."

Hunting. Oh yeah. I'd forgotten about that. I swallowed, and suddenly, I noticed a burning sensation in the pit of my throat. It was gradually growing stronger as I began to think about feeding.

"Finally!" Jasper shouted. Everyone turned to him, and he shuffled his feet. "Sorry, it's just...Bella's finally feeling a little thirsty...I was getting worried." He smiled at me, and I winked, taking Edward's hand.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Alice squealed.

_You have to let her look in the mirror, Edward!_

I blinked quickly, unused to hearing people's thoughts. It was getting overwhelming. I let go of his hand, and immediately, the voices disappeared.

Alice led to the mirror against the wall and clapped her hands excitedly when I was standing in front of it.

I inhaled quickly, stunned by the beauty of the girl in the mirror. Her skin was flawless, and smooth, so pale it was like snow. Her lips were dark red, and full, her teeth glistening white. She had curves, but was still slim, with long legs, highlighted by the short blue dress. She was dainty, and...._perfect_, surprisingly. But her eyes were....evil. They were a bright, shocking red, and I gasped, falling backwards when I saw them.

"How...they're horrible," I cried. Edward wrapped his arms around me and chuckled in my ear.

"Bella, you are beautiful. Please, they look....sexy," he muttered under his breath. I spun around and looked at him. His eyes were still dark with lust from before, and he leaned forward, brushing against my lips.

It was then, that exact moment, that I realized life was perfect. I finally had Edward forever...and I couldn't wait.

EPOV

It was unbelievable. She was...amazing. I couldn't believe it. I don't know how I was taking my lips off her, now that she was more durable. I was constantly fighting the desire to just take her, there and then. I tried to convince her that the eyes were sexy, but just looking at her made my knees go weak. I had to kiss her. Her lips were soft, gentle, but I wanted more. I forced her mouth open and slipped my tongue inside, gently massaging hers. She tasted...unforgettable. She moaned deeply at the sensation, and all of a sudden I found myself on the floor, Bella lying on top of me.

"Oops," she giggled. She bit her lip, and I rolled us over, playful, trapping her beneath me.

"You think it's funny?" I growled. I buried my face in her neck, kissing and sucking on the bare skin there.

Someone coughed again, interrupting us again, and I had to break away _again_. I bared my teeth at Alice who was smirking down at me, and snarled.

"Don't worry, Edward, you'll have plenty of time for that later!" A vision flashed through her mind of Bella and I in a compromising position, and I growled again, from lust this time.

"Okay, okay," Bella complained, pushing me off her and standing up. "How do I hunt?" she asked me brightly, holding out a hand. I jumped up and led her to the window.

"We're going to jump out, okay? I'll go first, and you follow." I let go of her reluctantly, and jumped out of the window, landing on the balls of my feet at the bottom. I looked up and beckoned for her to come. Hesitantly, she stepped over the edge and with a deep breath, she walked over the edge. She landed lightly and gracefully.

"That was quite graceful, Bella." She smirked in response.

"It'll be nice not to constantly trip all the time," she muttered. I laughed and was about to start off, but she stopped me.

"I have no shoes!" she suddenly realized. I laughed, and raised my hand just in time as Alice threw a pair out of the window. I passed them to Bella and she yelled her thanks back. After she'd slipped them on, bending over so I had the perfect view of her cute ass, I started running, keeping a hold of her hand. I found it quite amazing that she could now read my thoughts, yet I still got nothing from her. I ran through the open plain of snow until I smelled a deer in the air.

"Stop," I whispered to me, and she stopped immediately. "Close your eyes. Now, use your other senses. What can you hear?"

"There's a river...to the north," she murmured. "And is that, a bird?"

"Yes, you're right." There was a bird, miles away, yet in the silence of the plain, it was clear.

"Now, what do you smell? Follow it, quietly, and just let your senses take over." I brushed my hands over shoulders gently, and she shivered slightly. I leaned forward and brushed my lips just below her ear. "Then bite it, in the neck, right on the jugular. About here," I whispered, grazing my teeth along her neck, indicating where she should bite. A shudder ripped through her whole body and I smirked against her neck, before backing away. "Go get 'em, tiger."

She inhaled deeply, and took off. I followed after her, at a distance. She kept up a good speed, and was silent. Suddenly, I saw her leap, and she tackled a deer to the ground. They rolled over a few times before she sunk her teeth into its neck. I watched in stunned silence from a tree as she sucked it dry. When she moved away, there was blood dowm her chin, deep crimson. I sprang forward, licking it off her and growling in pleasure. She laughed and I grinned back at her.

"You are amazing, my wife." I could tell that my words would have caused a blush had she been human, but I didn't care. There were so many advantages now.

"Thank you," she whispered softly.

*****

When we got back to the house, Bella immediately accosted Jasper, and had fun for the rest of the day manipulating my emotions. When it got dark, Bella mentioned that she was going upstairs, and as soon as she left, the room got all tense.

"Well," Emmett suddenly said. "You guys wanna go hunt?" A chorus of yes' followed him and everyone got up except me. Alice came forward and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"It's going to be fine, Edward. Just relax." I smiled nervously at her and the others as they left the room. Soon the house was in silence. I heard the sound of the shower upstairs, and I slowly got to my feet and made my way upstairs. The door to our shower room was slightly open, and I saw Bella's silhouette through the steam. I took a deep breath and undressed, walking forward to finally complete our marriage together.

* * *

**For those who wanted smut, I'm very sorry, but this a T rated fic, and it's staying that way.**

**Don't know when I'll have the epilogue up. But seriously, thank you to all who has reviewed, favourited, and stayed with me. I love you all.**

**How many reviews do you think we can get over 100?? LOL!**

**Rachel xoxo  
**


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